Somewhere in a Sea of Grey
by Coesa Rudo
Summary: *AU DIVERGENT, INSURGENT, ALLEGIANT* Tris has chosen to live her life in Abnegation where she falls in love with Tobias Eaton. When the attack on Erudite forces them into the Factionless with Evelyn and those left who are loyal to Dauntless, Tris begins to realize that she will have to become the brave and courageous person she left behind when she chose grey.
1. Chapter 1

**My revised Chapter 1 let me know if you like this more. I just feel like I can do better so I promise to step it up, I feel like I kind of cheated you all out of some details and events. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

_If you aren't careful, you will be dead. _

I wipe my sweaty palms across my pants, taking a deep breath. I stand next to Caleb, hoping that somehow my choice will stumble upon me. Maybe when I get to the bowls, I will find clarity. Perhaps, feeling the knife across my hand will open my eyes to the right decision.

_There is no right decision, you are Divergent. _

The voice in the back of my mind keeps reminding me that this more than a choice of who I will be for the rest of my life, it is a choice of whether or not I will have a life to live. Caleb's name is called, I release another shaky breath. Did the time fly that fast? Caleb nears the bowl, he seems so sure of himself. A comfort I do not have. Caleb doesn't turn to look at our parents or at me. What is it like to know that you are perfectly content with being selfless? How does it feel to not have a doubt in your mind over where you truly belong?

Caleb's hand reaches out. I hold in my gasp as he throws his hand out over the bowl of water. He has chosen Erudite. I bite the inside of my cheek, my brother was supposed to be selfless enough to cut his hand and set it over the full grey stones, yet to be splattered with vermilion blood. Instead, it was just muddled with the now dull red water of Erudite. I vaguely hear my name and walk towards the bowls that will determine my future. I look to my parents, see my father's anguish within his eyes and debate my decision. I take yet another breath and cut my hand, deeply, hoping that maybe the pain will help me focus on making a decision. I watch my father's anguish turn into hope as he looks at me. And with what little piece of Abnegation that is in me, I move my hand out, it begins to rove towards the burning coals that ignite my soul. I want so badly to be selfish and give into my wants, my desires, my fire.

My blood drips down my hand and onto the floor, I need to choose. I can tell everyone's eyes are on me. I am selfish, my instinct is self-preservation. Where will I live longest? Where will I be safe? I move my hand once again. My decision has been made, I find myself reaching for the place where I can be me. I shut my eyes. Where will I go? Will I be free?

I stay true to the life I was raised in. My blood is the first to stain the grey coals, the first to identify myself as a member Abnegation.

Forgotten, lost, and hidden.

A small piece in a never ending dull color that is easily forgotten. I walk away and stand alone, until a few others join me, none of course people who I speak to often or even really know. Except Susan. I almost snort, I don't really know any of them. We can't ask questions, curiosity is not a very Abnegation trait. I need to stop thinking this way, I have made my decision, I will need to stick with it and with a better attitude. I can handle this, I was going to switch to Dauntless, initiation there must be harder than this. If I could have passed initiation there, I can definitely pass it here.

I hear the thunderous steps of Dauntless, my stare lingering for a moment on them. I could have been there. My father begins to clean up once everyone has left. I follow his direction and help the rest of my faction. Susan walks towards me, "do you need any help Beatrice?" I see some sadness in Susan's eyes, I wonder if she was shocked when Robert switched?

"No, but thank you Susan." I lend her a small smile and finish cleaning everything up. This is the world that I am going to be in forever, I should work on perfecting my Abnegation tendencies. My father turns to us, looking at each of us to get our attention. Although, we don't speak often and are hardly ever doing anything but listening to others. Each of us keeps our heads slightly bowed, as if to humble and selfless to show confidence in ourselves.

"Initiates please come with me. I will be your instructor for today, since we do not want to burden our fellow members with training you the entire thirty days. As a result, we will be sharing the responsibility. We would like to teach you how to be a part of the community and you can learn that best with Abnegation members who have various professions. It takes a village to raise a child, and you are the future of Abnegation, we should properly prepare you for a life of selflessness."

I focus on my father telling us about our stay here in Abnegation and the general schedule of initiation.

Walking with my faction, I recognize that I can be safe here with my family.

* * *

><p>For dinner I sit next to Susan eating quietly and looking at my food. I wonder what I would be eating in Dauntless?<p>

Would it be this silent?

Would I have made friends, real friends?

I set my fork into the chicken, which after staring at it for a few moments begins to lose its brown color and turn into grey. Susan gives me a small, Abnegation smile. I'm jealous of Susan Black. She just fits in perfectly, I bet her aptitude test went just as planned. I bet it all went perfectly normal, and when her name was called she walked to the bowls, with ease cut her hand, and felt no sense of wonder or regret or fear over which choice she would make. I bet she even felt secure in her decision. I head to the room that I share with the other female initiates. I sit down on my bed and unwrap my hair from it's bun. My blonde locks cascade around my shoulders.

After debating going to sleep, I decide to walk a bit. Susan is already preparing for bed, she smiles at me, "are you feeling alright, Beatrice?"

"I'm fine thank you, I'm just going to get some water." Susan seems to accept this and turns to her bed. I shouldn't lie that easily, especially to innocent and sweet Susan. I walk down a hall, peering into open doors and listening for footsteps, indicating someone might see me. I walk towards the back door, hopping for some fresh air.

I sit along grass and stare at the stars, I am in Abnegation. I have chosen to stay here. I will forget myself and serve others. Pressing my hands into the grass, I focus on the city in front of me. What would I be doing in Dauntless right now?

Would I be awake? Would I miss my family?

I hear a creaking and turn to see a tall silhouette. Immediately, I push myself off the ground. I attempt to think of an excuse as to why I am outside at this time when I should be sleeping. Standing tall, I look up into a pair of black eyes, peering closer they seem more of a dark blue hue. "What are you doing out here?"

"I.." I was careful to make sure I wasn't seen, there is no way he could have seen me. So why is he here? "What are you doing out here?"

He seems slightly taken back by my answer, "you are not a transfer?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then you should know better than wandering around when you should be sleeping."

I feel some of my pride surge within me, how can he tell me what to do when he shouldn't be out here either. I look at him closer, "you are Marcus's son aren't you?" I struggle to remember his name, it started with a T, "Tobias."

Tobias's lips form a flat line, I can see his jaw is drawn tight. "You are Andrew's daughter, correct?"

We have been talking in circles it seems, neither one of us answering a question, but replying with another one. "Yes, I am. I'm Beatrice."

Tobias nods, "I recommend you return to the dorm with the female initiates."

I bite my tongue and walk towards the door, Tobias clears his throat. I turn around to face him, "be careful, Beatrice."

I wince at my name, it sounds much too grey, much too selfless, I need it to sound more like me. Divergent. I shake my head and walk inside. I can't be Divergent, I need to be Abnegation. I slip into the dorm and fall into the scratchy grey sheets.

* * *

><p>My father passes us each a trash bag, "today, we help clean up the Factionless sector of the city. This is an important job, one you should consider if you would like to help those who can not help themselves. When we aid the Factionless we help make their lives healthier and safer. Each take a trash bag and collect any trash you find. We will do this until lunch, then we will spend the afternoon canning food for the Factionless. Stay here on this main stretch of road."<p>

I follow the other initiates and pick up trash as I see it, I never was comfortable here in the Factionless. I walk along the pieces of broken glass, tossing empty cans and paper into the bag. Despite the instructions to stay with everyone else, I leave the main path and follow the twists and turns of the abandoned buildings. I turn the corner and see a few Factionless standing around in a circle, their mismatch clothing, tattered and loose. My mother stitches socks for the Factionless, I wonder how many of them are wearing her socks. I see a figure run past them, a blur of grey streaking my view.

Was that an Abnegation?

An Abnegation running through the Factionless? Curiosity gets the best of me, I walk along the edges of the Factionless in the direction of the blur. I hear a few voices nearby, hiding behind the corner I look at the tall grey Abnegation man speaking to an older woman.

I've seen him before, I blink, Tobias. Tobias Eaton, what is he doing here? Why is he speaking to that woman? Confusion twists at my mind, I stand and watch them talk together. I wonder what they are saying?

I need to go, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have ever left the main road, this is a very not-Abnegation thing to do. I peel myself away from the corner and walk towards my father and the other initiates. Questions race through my mind about what Tobias was doing in the Factionless.

After a few minutes of picking up trash, I come to a conclusion, Tobias Eaton is not as he seems.

He definitely is not a strict, straight-laced, Abnegation.

He doesn't stick to the guidelines of our faction.

I wonder why.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay my revised chapter 1. Hope you enjoy, please tell me what you think!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

For the past week, I have been sneaking outside hoping to run into Tobias. The more I think about him associating with the Factionless the more I wonder why. The average Abnegation would help the Factionless, but not speak openly with them in a far off place, one that is separated from the main road.

Why would Tobias put himself at risk? Someone could catch him and accuse him of being disloyal to Abnegation, that would make him a misfit.

_Could he be Divergent?_

I shake the thought from my mind, there has to be a logical reason as to why he was out there among the Factionless. I walk outside, lazy in my way of staying hidden. No one will catch me, except Tobias. I lay down in the grass, waiting. Maybe he won't come tonight, he hasn't all week. Maybe the one time I saw him was an odd coincidence.

I shut my eyes, feel the crisp wind blow my hair into my face, a laugh bubbles from my throat.

"What are you doing out here, Beatrice?"

My eyes open, "Tobias." I sit myself up on my elbows.

Tobias looks down on me, "you should go back to the dorms. You could get in trouble for this."

"I could say the same to you."

"Really?" Tobias raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. "Stand up."

I stand, step back and look up, "why were you in the Factionless."

"I wasn't."

"I know it was you. I saw you. It was on the first day of initiation. What were you doing there?"

Tobias stares at me for a while. The silence between us heavy, did I make a mistake in doing this? Tobias glances around and takes my arm, dragging me further away from the back door and towards the empty field behind the building. His grip is tight, stronger then I expected. "Let go of me."

Tobias stops and releases his grip on my arm, "what do you know about me?"

"I know you were in the Factionless."

"Beatrice, " Tobias scratches behind his ear, "have you told anyone?"

"I'm not stupid. I didn't tell anyone. So why were you over there."

"That is none of your business," his tone stings. I am being chastised. "Why were you over there anyway. You were supposed to be with your initiate class."

"Well, you were supposed to be...doing whatever it is you do. So tell me, what is going on?"

Tobias presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "Beatrice! This is dangerous."

Is he talking about Divergence? Fear begins to wrap around me, I decide to play stupid, "I don't know what you could possibly mean."

"Yes you do. You and I both know we weren't supposed to be in that area of the Factionless. We are both putting ourselves at risk even having this conversation."

I stare at him, wide eyed, has he figured out my secret? I feel like DIVERGENT is labeled on my forehead, if Tobias can see it who else can. I swallow the lump in my throat, I drop my voice, "you know?"

Tobias runs his hand through his hair, "of course I do. When I caught you out here the first time I suspected something. But now...Just go back Beatrice. Don't tell anyone we had this conversation."

"I'm not an idiot! I know that..." I wonder if this means Tobias is in fact, Divergent. Does he understand who I am? Does he have answers, I open my mouth to ask, but the look in Tobias eyes tells me that wouldn't a smart decision. There is something dangerous, wild, in his eyes. Unstable, I wonder if it is in my eyes as well.

"Go Beatrice."

I walk a few paces away, I need answers. I shut my eyes, he hasn't told anyone about me being here. He is warning me, maybe he can be trusted. I decide to be brave, I spin on my heel and walk back to him, "I want answers."

Tobias cocks his head back and stares at the moon, "Beatrice..."

"I want answers. And you are going to give them tome." I keep my tone serious, authoritative.

"Meet me back here in two hours, when you are sure, absolutely sure no one else is awake. Be careful, okay? And bring your jacket, it gets cold at night."

I smile, "thank you."

* * *

><p>I wait outside in the field, wrapped tightly in my jacket. I feel small excitement and dread at the thought of getting the answers I want. I'm not sure I want to know exactly what I am, but I also don't want to remain clueless as to why I'm dangerous. I hear a footsteps behind me, I turn to Tobias and tuck a lock of my hair back.<p>

"Let's walk." He walks ahead of me, his stride long. I have to make up a few steps to keep up with him.

I begin to toss questions at him, but he puts his hand up, "wait."

I keep silent until he stops and sits down in the grass, it is over grown here. Covering my head and concealing most of Tobias. "Will you answer me now?"

Tobias nods and rests his elbows on his knees, "Beatrice, you realize that you can be killed for who you are."

"Yes."

He nods, "I don't have many answers."

"Are you one," I lower my voice and glance around, saying the word Divergent out loud seems more dangerous then when it's said in my mind, "Divergent?"

Tobias looks at me, "my results were Abnegation."

"So was mine. So what was your result really?"

"Abnegation."

"So you aren't one?"

Tobias shakes his head, "not exactly."

"What does that mean?" I sigh, "Tobias, I'm alone here in Abnegation, if there is someone out there like me, I want to know."

"My results were Abnegation, but the woman who administered my test knew I was different."

I nod, "are we safe here?"

"In Abnegation?"

I nod. "Yeah, Abnegation."

Tobias shrugs, "we are safer here than we are in Dauntless or Candor."

"Why?"

Tobias smiles, "Candor puts us under simulation, we are forced to tell the truth. I think that definitely qualifies as a danger to us."

"And Dauntless?"

"I don't know much about their initiation, but I know it involves simulations."

I twirl a piece of grass between my fingers, "does Initiation get any...more interesting?"

Tobias laughs under his breath, it's deep as if it came from somewhere deep within, "no."

I groan, "really?"

"Yes, it remains the same."

"Where do you work?"

"You are asking a lot of questions."

I shrug, "now that I know you aren't a strict Abnegation, I might as well get out my selfish habits. So where do you work?"

"I watch the computers in Abnegation."

I nod, "is that fun?"

He shrugs, "it's easy. I'm good with computers."

"Can I stop by?"

He looks at me, "why, am I that likable?"

"No, you are real approachable. You know like a bed of nails."

Tobias smiles, "I could say the same to you."

"So is that a yes?"

"Sure, no one is ever in there anyway."

I nod, "good, I can't sleep sometimes. Usually I come outside, but since you are here, I might as well go to you."

Tobias nods and stares at the stars above us, "so, Beatrice?" I can tell he has a question ready for me.

I shake my head at my name, "it's a boring name."

"What?"

"Beatrice, my name, it's boring."

"So change it."

"To what?"

Tobias shrugs.

I lean my head back, "I don't know, what do you think?"

Tobias thinks for a moment, "Bea?"

I scrunch up my nose and shake my head. Tobias tosses his head back and laughs, "guess not...Hm, so no Bea...How about Tris?"

Tris, "I like that."

"Okay, then Tris it is."

* * *

><p>I sit next to Tobias staring at computer screens, this is the third time I have been in there this week, I wonder if we are breaking any rules by doing this. "Are we friends now Tobias?"<p>

Tobias looks at me, "I don't have friends."

"No one in Abnegation does. No one knows each other well enough to be friends. So are we friends?"

"Do I know you well enough?"

I shrug, "I don't know. Friends know simple things about each other. What is your favorite color?"

"Blue."

I nod, "like what shade of blue?"

"An icy, clear blue. It's a refreshing color. What is yours?"

"I don't know if I have one. It's definitely not grey. Ask me again tomorrow, I will have an answer. What is your favorite food?"

"Chicken and peas." Tobias laughs and glances at me.

"You are kidding! Mine too." I laugh softly to myself, "I always wanted to have dessert."

"Dessert?"

"Yes, like that chocolate stuff I always heard the kids at school talk about when I was little."

"Chocolate?"

"Haven't you ever wanted some Tobias?"

Tobias leans back in his chair. "I never thought about it."

"You should, it seems very delicious. I also want to try something decadent. Like really rich and sweet." Tobias smiles at me and stare for a while, I look over, "what is it?"

"We are friends, Tris."

I break into a grin, "on that note, I will go back to my dorm and go to sleep."

"Really? I tell you we are friends and you just pick up and leave."

I stand and brush myself off, "I will see you tomorrow, _friend_."

Tobias rolls his eyes and walks me to the door of my dorm, "you be careful, Tris."

"You too." I begin to bow, but Tobias shakes his head, he tentatively offers his hand.

"Friends shake hands, right?"

I glance at his hand, and slowly put mine into his, "yeah, they do." It's awkward for both of us, and when we let go, we glance around waiting to get into trouble from someone for having physical contact. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Tris."

* * *

><p><strong>Review hope you like how this is going. I feel more confident in it. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Tomorrow is Visiting Day, Tris."

I slump into the chair next to Tobias, "I know."

"Aren't you excited?"

"Yes, weren't you excited?"

Tobias shakes his head, "I wasn't, but that's odd...Besides that, you can actually speak at the table with your parents."

"I did that before this point."

"At least you can get out of the dorms and stop picking up trash or sorting food. Visiting Day is your only time to do something else. There isn't much else to do, anyways. Don't take it for granted."

I laugh, "you know what I want to do?"

"What?"

"Jump off a moving train." I expect Tobias to laugh at me or laugh with me, instead he stares at me incredulously. "What? Tobias?"

"Would you really want to jump off a moving train?"

I shrug, "I watched the Dauntless do it all the time while I was in school. I envied their freedom, I wonder how amazing it would feel to jump on and off those things."

"We should try that sometime."

I stare at Tobias. Did he just offer to take me to the trains? "Sometime?"

"Yeah, when you finish Initiation we will go."

"Have you ever done it before?"

Tobias smirks, "once."

"Once? What was it like? I bet it was amazing. How did it feel? Freeing, huh. Oh well, did you hurt yourself? Were you alone? When can we go?"

"Whoa, slow down there. I will answer your questions on the way to the trains, _when _you are an official Abnegation. _After initiation."_

I pout and cross my arms. Tobias laughs, "that's not a very becoming look." He stares at the computer screens glaring in front of us, "you should head to the dorms. You have a big day tomorrow."

"Would you like to come to dinner?" I blurt out. I mentally face-palm, he must think I'm asking him out or something.

Tobias raises his eyebrows, "dinner?"

I turn pink, "not like a date. I mean, just when I go to see my parents." Tobias still stares at me, "Tobias, I don't know what to say or do. You are one of my closest friends, I take that back you are my ONLY friend and I need the support. You have got to keep me in check, I have to make sure my parents think I have completely acclimated to Abnegation life. The last thing I need is for them to question if I truly belong here...I don't want to put them in danger."

Tobias chews his lip, "okay, on one condition."

"And that is?"

"You don't ask me to take you to the trains at all, until you have finished Initiation."

I offer my hand to Tobias, handshakes have become a big deal for us, "you drive a hard bargain, but I agree to the terms."

Tobias shakes my hand and turns to the screens, "go to bed Tris. I will meet you by your dorm tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

I stand up and walk towards the door, "thanks Tobias."

* * *

><p>If the apprehension sitting in my gut is any indicator of how this dinner will go, I should have stayed in the dorms all day and play sick. I knock on my parents door, Tobias standing behind me, "Tris, it will be fine, calm down."<p>

I have bitten my nails raw at the thought of giving off any clue that I might not be completely devoted to a life of selflessness. I have to keep my family safe, my secret could endanger them as well as myself. My mother opens the door, "Beatrice," she looks past me and smiles at Tobias. "Tobias, it has been a long time since I have seen you. It's a pleasure to have you joining us." She steps aside and raises her eyebrows at me when I step inside.

My father hugs me and bows to Tobias, "it is nice for the two of you to join us. How is Initiation going Beatrice?"

"Very well, thank you."

My mother sets a glass in front of me, "do have an idea as to what job you will choose?"

I shrug, "I think I should work with other factions, since it seems to be a job that requires patience and variety. I believe I have qualities to help me succeed in that endeavor." I pass the food to my father as he questions me more about Initiation.

Finally he turns his attention to Tobias, "so you and Beatrice are friends?"

"Yes, sir."

"That is exactly the type of idea we want to send to Erudite. They should see that the people of Abnegation not only are as upright and selfless as they claim, but also happy. The children of council members, united as friends in a love for serving others." My father begins his long speech on the lies of Erudite and the false accusations they use to manipulate the other factions. My father's distrust and dislike for Erudite runs deep. I nod and continue to eat quietly, allowing my father and Tobias to speak, I choose to remain silent. If I don't speak as often I'm less likely to slip up and possibly give away my secret. Tobias carefully addresses me allowing me to respond in a way that I can tell makes my father proud, I don't know how I could have done this without his help. As we finish our meal, Tobias and I offer to clean up after everyone else.

I set the dishes into the sink, Tobias drying and putting them away. "Thank you."

"It wasn't too hard was it?"

I roll my eyes, "for you, Tobias."

"I can't argue that point. They aren't my parents."

"Do you think I will move into a house near yours?"

Tobias shrugs, "they usually put the new members with the other singles."

"Will you ever get married?"

"Maybe, if things worked out a certain way."

"Do you mean if you fell in love, Tobias?"

He smirks, "yes, if I fell in love. But there are some things that would keep me from marriage even if I did fall in love."

I don't question that statement. We are different, we are dangerous, being married to someone who doesn't understand us could very well put them in danger. What if a Divergent has children, will their child be Divergent? "I understand, Tobias."

"What about you Tris?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not very pretty and I'm quite small. I don't think anyone would be interested."

"Tris, that isn't true."

I roll my eyes, "don't pretend like it's not. I am not ugly, but I'm also not pretty. And we call agree I am small. Compared to the other girls here, I am nothing."

"You're witty, deadly smart, intelligent, I even suspect some bravery," he smiles at that, "and you are selfless...By the way I like the way you look."

I blush and look down at the dishes, "well, thank you. I have never been told that before."

"You should have been."

I smile and continue my work. "How was your Visiting Day?"

Tobias stays quiet for a long time with the only sound being the dishes clanking together in the sink. "Nothing special."

"Oh." I don't know what I was expecting, maybe that Marcus had a small group of people for dinner and welcomed Tobias home. Marcus always seemed like such an exemplary Abnegation, I wonder why Tobias is so much different than him. Marcus is selfless and humble, whereas Tobias has this authority about him you can't seem to shake, a confidence that I wish every person in abnegation carried upon them. "What will we do after this?"

"I will take you to the dorms so you can get some rest. You have more work tomorrow."

I groan softly, "I would rather not consider that. Can we go the long way? I kind of need the privacy and maybe a nice sprint will do me some good."

"A solid run does sound refreshing..." Tobias stares at me, "Tris?"

"Yes?"

"I meant what I said, you are beautiful."

I bite my lip and smile, I may not be beautiful. But Tobias made me feel like I am.

* * *

><p>My days of community service are beginning to draw to a close, I stand with the other initiates waiting for our instructor for this afternoon. An older Abnegation woman smiles t each of us, "for the rest of today we are pairing you with a member of Abnegation whose job we believe you would work best with. Each of you will be members of Abnegation soon and it is important that you know your role in the community. We have looked over your habits and personalities and we believe have corresponded those with jobs that fit each of you." She passes a piece of paper to each of us, "the name of your mentor and the location of your shadowing is on this slip of paper. Report there by the time listed. Then you will be with your mentor until their job ends, for each of you these times may be different. A short explanation as to why this particular occupation was chosen for you is listed below. I recommend you read that, it may help you come to a decision when it is time to choose your jobs. You are dismissed."<p>

A folded piece of white paper is set in my hands, I wait until everyone else has there paper to open mine. I unfold it and stare at the page. I skip over my name, my time begins at 8 PM and lasts until almost 5 AM. I move towards the name of my mentor.

Tobias Eaton.

A smile tries to fight its way to my face, but I force it away. Why was I paired with Tobias? I thought maybe I would get to spend the day in the government offices, learning about working with other factions. My eyes skirt to the paragraph explaining why I am going to spend my evening with him. Apparently, my quiet nature and indirect way of helping others has made me a candidate to serve others in a more detached setting, apparently I am very smart and could work a computer. I look at the clock, it's only 2 PM.

It will be a long time waiting for 8 to roll around. The thought of spending it with Tobias makes my stomach do these odd flips and my heart beat pick up. How is the thought of him doing this to me? I wonder if it is because of how close we are, perhaps I just need to talk. Or maybe, it's that we will be together without having to keep it a secret. I shake my head, maybe I am just coming down with a cold or a stomach virus and I don't know yet. I walks past the dorms and consider taking a shower, I want to smell better than the trash we picked up today. I don't think Tobias would like that.

Why should I care? What is it about knowing I will be seeing Tobias today that makes me so focused on presenting myself in a certain way to him? Has my view of Tobias changed in the past few weeks without my notice? My mind drifts to Tobias as I walk into the dorm.

For some reason I can't seem to wipe the grin off my face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I knock on the door, "Tobias?"

"Come in, Tris."

I slip inside and stand in the doorway, "do I sit or stand?"

"Sitting would make more sense, don't you think?"

I frown and fall into the seat. "So how exactly does this work?"

"It's simple, manage the computers and watch the screens. Nothing ever happens, but it's the job description."

"So what exactly are we watching for?"

Tobias leans his head back, "keep an eye on the Factionless near our sector of the city, make sure Erudite doesn't try and break into one of our government offices and tamper with anything." He smiles at me, "Abnegation is funny that way."

"What way?"

"We proclaim to be tolerant of all, yet we sit here waiting for an Erudite to break into our buildings. We also say we forget ourselves so much so that we can only serve others, yet we are paranoid about Erudite when they release a few articles against us, true or not. It's a bit hypocritical don't you think?"

I shrug, "I never thought of any Abnegation as hypocritical."

Tobias closes his eyes, "you should. Everyone is not what they seem."

"Really?"

"Tris, you should learn now, especially given who you are, that you can't trust anyone who doesn't have as much at stake as you."

I cock my head to the side, "what makes you say that?"

"Do you think people who are not like us can truly be trusted?"

I ponder the thought, after a moment I understand. I rest my elbows against the counter and stare at the fuzzy screens around me, "so how do I manage the computer."

Tobias gets this wide grin across his face and suddenly becomes very animated over how the computer works, he shows me different codes and patterns to use. I have never seen Tobias be passionate to this point about anything except his survival. "You know a lot about computers."

"I am surprisingly good with computers."

I smile and look over at him, "Tobias, I have a question."

"And that is?"

"Well, let's say that, hypothetically of course, you did fall in love."

"Okay. This topic has already been discussed."

"Don't question me. So let's continue...You fall in love, and whoever this girl is is one of us."

"Okay."

"Would you...marry her? Hypothetically speaking, would you have a normal life with her?"

Tobias scratches his chin, "I think I would. If she was one of us and understood how dangerous it was."

What if I was that girl? What if Tobias loved me? I shake my head, I'm not his type, if he even has one, I know I wouldn't be it. When did Tobias become my crush? "Have you ever wondered what chocolate tastes like?"

"How did we go from love to chocolate?"

"I've heard that love and chocolate are quite similar."

Tobias chuckles and asks me to try and copy one of his codes in the computer. I fumble with the keys for a good half an hour, until Tobias walks me through the steps again. "I don't think I am very good at working the computers."

"You are, you just have to be patient," he shows me again, I try to pay attention to how his fingers glide along the keys, how sure and steady his movements are. My eyes drift towards his face, I force them back to the keyboard, my eyes and hands playing a game of cat and mouse.

"Tobias, I have another question."

"Yeah?"

"Will you help me move?"

"Sure, but won't your parents want to help you?"

I shake my head, "I don't want them to. I think it would be hard for them, you know? It would make it real that Caleb isn't here with us anymore. I don't want them to move me in and be wondering if Caleb is moving into his own home right now, I would rather spare them that. They will be happy at the ceremony to see my feet washed and I would rather their night end on a positive note."

"I will help you move in."

"If it makes you feel any better, I will make us dinner. We can even eat on the couch and... you know what?"

"What?"

"Wear your pajamas, Tobias. I always wanted to do that. You know, stroll around the house in my pajamas. I think it sounds fun."

"Tris, I haven't ever heard anyone say that walking around in pajamas is considered fun."

I cross my arms, "maybe you need to get out more."

Tobias stares at me, I turn to him, "what?"

"Nothing."

"Tobias, tell me?" I smile and look at my fingers.

"I am just amazed at how brilliant you are."

"And how did you notice that?"

"I notice things, usually things about people."

I raise my eyebrows, "really? You seem to notice particular things about me." I blush and look away. What was I thinking by saying that? He must see me as his little sister or something.

"Okay fine, I noticed you because I_ like_ you, Tris."

"You what?"

"I like you. That is why I noticed you."

I shift my eyes from him to the screen in front of me, Tobias said he likes me. Does that mean he merely put up with me until he made the decision that he liked me. "I'm glad to know you like me. Did you just tolerate me before this?"

Tobias gives me this hurt look, "I'm getting a little tired of waiting for you to catch on."

"To catch onto what? That you simply put up with me."

"Put up with you? Tris, why do you think I spend time with you?"

I shrug, "because you think I'm weak or something. You are constantly correcting me and you won't take me to the trains or even so much as explain to me why you were in the Factionless." I try to play cool and calm but the rising anger in my voice isn''t helping much.

"You think I want to keep you safe? That I think you are weak?"

"I don't think anything, I know it!"

Tobias stays quiet, takes a shaky breath, and runs his hand through his hair, "Tris, I am fascinated by you." Tobias leans forward, his fingers gliding along my jaw, "you have this power about you, this brilliance, this strength that I haven't ever seen. You think my first instinct is to coddle you, to keep you safe?" Tobias fingers hook around my chin and pulls me forward, "you're wrong. My first instinct is to press you until you break. I have seen how you look under pressure, it's beautiful. You're aware, this fire within you burns, It looks uncontrollable, irresistible. You, Beatrice Prior, fascinate me." Tobias moves closer to me, his lips would brush mine if we spoke.

I wonder what that would feel like. I close my eyes, "I'm sorry." The sensation of speaking so close to him sends small sparks of static around my face.

"Don't be." Footsteps echo near the room and Tobias pulls away from me. I press my fingers to my lips, trying to memorize the feeling of having Tobias so close to me. The footsteps grow louder as someone walks past us, Tobias clears his throat, "you should probably try those codes again."

His orders remind me that I am here to learn a job. The awkward feeling I was expecting is non-existent, rather my whole body and mind seems to buzzing at how close Tobias was to me, what could have happened if no one had walked past us? I begin to hit the keys and watch the screens carefully, "would you like it if this is the job I chose after Initiation?"

"I wouldn't mind, Tris."

"Is that a yes or no?"

"Yes, I would. It gets boring in here all night."

"Then I think I will choose this job."

"I thought you were considering working with other factions."

I press my knees to my chest, "I did, but I also thought about how much danger that would put me and my family in. I mean, given my 'circumstance' I don't think that working with other factions would be very beneficial to me. I know that I would fit in too well with them, that their ideas and actions would bleed into my life here. I don't want anyone to find out who I am, and I think that working with other factions would show the world what I am."

Tobias nods and smiles at me, "you are always welcome to be with me."

I walk to the dorm and crash into the covers, I stare at the ceiling, my Initiation Ceremony is a few days away. I will be forever and officially trapped in this world and there won't be any way out. I take a slow breath, at least Tobias is here and maybe, just maybe I can make a life for myself. I just hope that life involves him.

* * *

><p>After Marcus has read our manifesto and my feet have been washed, my mother hands each of us new members the key to our home, when she places the key in my palm she squeezes my hand then sends me a warm smile.<p>

What if I had switched from Dauntless? Would that smile have been wiped from her face?

I walk with the others to the dorm and collect what few items I have accumulated in this time, my parents were kind enough to set the one box of things from home on my bed. I gather it into my arms and walk outside, Tobias stands waiting on the corner, he takes the box from me and smiles "it's official now, welcome to Abnegation."

"Thanks." My parents approach us and pull me into tight and endearing hugs, my father rests his hands on my shoulders, "we are very proud of you."

"Thank you father."

"Can we help you move into your new home?"

"Thank you for the offer, Father, but Tobias has already asked. Tomorrow would the two of you like to join me for dinner, though? Don't bring anything, please let me welcome you into my home."

My mother grins, "thank you, Beatrice. We look forward to it...We will see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yes, mother you will. Goodbye, Father." My father bows to Tobias and then gives me one last hug before walking away with my mother. I watch their figures disappear before speaking again, "you're invited to dinner too."

"If it's peas and chicken I think I will decline. But if it's chicken and peas I will definitely be there."

I laugh and walk towards the street I have been assigned to. I walk past endless grey houses, identical to the one that I grew up in, exactly the same tinted grey wash and square patch of grass in front of the home. I stop in front of one of the homes with the number on my key, "this is it." Bounding up the steps I set the key into the lock. This is my home. I am all alone here. The door creaks open to reveal a home that looks identical to the one I spent the past 16 years growing up in. This one feels colder, lonelier, bare.

"It has character, Tris."

I turn to Tobias, "I was thinking it was a little bare."

"That will change once you have been in here for a few weeks."

"Where do you live, Tobias?"

Tobias turns and points across the street, "right across the street and over one house."

"Good we are neighbors. I don't need to buy food, right?"

"No, they fully stock the house, it is the same set up as it was in your home. Kitchen is over there, go up the stairs and there are a few bedrooms, choose which one you want."

"Okay," I look around the room, "Tobias just set the box down, I will unpack later. Let's make dinner."

Tobias follows me into the kitchen as I open a new can of peas and set two pieces of the frozen chicken into a pan to bake, "I choose my job tomorrow."

"Yes, you do."

"I am going to work in the control room with you, it's safer there." And I want to spend as much time with you as possible.

"It is also boring there."

I sit on the counter and look out the window in the kitchen, "Tobias, I am an official and it is a_fter _initiation. So, I think you can take me to the trains now."

"Alright, I will take you tonight."

"Really?"

Tobias smiles at me, "yes, really." He steps closer to me and I stare at him, even sitting up on the counter my eyes don't meet his, rather they meet his chin. I stare at his lips, a full bottom lip, spare upper, I force my gaze away to his eyes, "Tobias, do you think we would still be friends in Dauntless?"

"Is that we are Tris, friends?"

The question catches me off guard, I tuck a loose piece of hair into my bun, "what else would we be?"

"Nothing, we would be...nothing."

I should be brave and ask the question that has been bouncing around my brain for a while. "Would you like us to be something else Tobias?"

He stares at me, "would you?"

"Maybe." I shift my gaze from his, "I just don't want to get hurt."

Tobias thumb strokes cheek, "I wouldn't hurt you Tris."

"But would you? I'm sure there is some other girl out there that you would want more than me."

"I want you and no other girl...Tris look at me." My eyes move up and lock onto his, he smiles and cups my face in his hand, "I. Want. You."

A smile plays on my lips, "you do? Even though I'm not beautiful or different in any way?"

"Yes, you are beautiful and you are the most amazing and breathtaking person I know. You are strong, brave, intelligent, kind, and honest."

"So what are we now Tobias?"

He smiles, "you tell me."

I take in a deep breath and press my lips to his cheek, "I think we are an 'us' now. Does that sound good?" I blush, I haven't ever had physical contact with anyone besides my family, and kissing Tobias on the cheek was the most affection I have ever shown towards anyone. The pink on his cheeks tells me he feels the same.

"It sounds perfect."


	5. Chapter 5

**id some research and found that we never know for sure how long Initiation is in Dauntless. We know for a fact that Abnegation's initiation lasts 30 days, comprised of community service. But we don't know how long initiation lasts in the other factions. So far since Dauntless initiation has three stages and is much more complex, many think that it would last longer. Thus, at this point in time, the Dauntless are still in initiation. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Tobias and I stand near the tracks of the train that is coming towards us, "are you ready?"

I break into a wide smile. That seems to be answer enough, Tobias takes my hand and we break into a run as the train approaches. My muscles ache and my body feels like it might fall apart at any moment, and I feel fantastic. I feel free. Letting go of my hand, Tobias reaches out and grabs onto the bar of the train, his shoulder slams into the side as he pulls himself in. I reach out and cling to the bar of the train, I struggle to pull myself into the car, Tobias pulls me inside. I fall onto my back and burst into laughter, loud and humorous. "That was amazing, Tobias!"

"Wasn't it?"

"We have to do this again."

"We will, I promise."

I sit up and watch the lights of the city dot my view and blur into the midnight blue sky. "I wish we could just live in this train car forever."

"So do I."

"I also wish I could go for a run and not be chastised for it, or I could just say how sick and tired I am of picking up trash."

"Well you can do that in your home now."

"Would it be bad if I used the mirror more than what we are allowed?"

Tobias shrugs, "I never thought much about it. I don't think it would be bad. At least, I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you, I won't tell anyone that my boyfriend uses his mirror."

"Did you just call me your boyfriend?"

"I might have. Is that okay?"

"If that title is up for grabs, I am definitely interested in fulfilling that role."

I smile and let my feet dangle out the car of the train, "when do we have to jump off?"

"When we near Abnegation again, we can't get caught on here and I need to get you home, you should rest up for your job choosing tomorrow."

"Alright...Thank you, Tobias. This is special, I won't ever forget this."

He puts his arm around me and kisses my temple, "I won't either, Tris."

* * *

><p>I glance in the mirror and pin my hair into the bun, I grab my shoes and dash out the house. I can't believe I am going to be late to work. I try not to run to the control room, so I settle for this awkward fast paced walk. I go in through the back door and run into the control room.<p>

Tobias doesn't turn to face me, "you're late."

"I know, I know." I sit down and fasten my shoes, "I promise this is the last time."

"You said that last week and the week before that."

I kiss Tobias on the cheek, "I was helping Susan sort food and then freshened up, then I came straight here."

"Did you? Because I have a feeling you looked in the mirror."

I blush, "I did not."

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor because you are a terrible liar."

"Okay, maybe I glanced in there, but it was only to check my bun." Lately, I have been getting carried away with the mirror. I am not obsessed with my looks or anything, I just like to know that my hair looks alright. My mother usually checked my hair before I left for school and so I knew it looked alright.

"Tris, I am beginning to understand the reasoning behind limiting your time to when you get your hair cut."

I roll my eyes, "you have it easy, you don't have a bun to pin up everyday. Besides, nothing ever happens while we are in here."

"Not the point. The point is that this is your job and you have to be on time."

"I will, I promised remember."

Tobias leans the chair back, "did you bring food?"

"Another reason as to why I am late, I always get a call asking me to bring you food because you forgot to make one or you left it at home."

Tobias shrugs. "What can I say? I have a girlfriend who cares enough to make sure I don't starve."

I toss my bag onto the counter, "here." I take out a small plastic box with chicken and carrots inside. "This should last you for a while."

Tobias swivels towards the food, I lean closer watching his face light up at the sight of a meal, I smile as he turns to me. His face just breaths from mine. "Can I kiss you?" Tobias hand is under my jaw.

"Yes, I don't see what has been stopping you for the past month."

Tobias smiles and fits his mouth to mine. I smile into the kiss and pull away after a moment, "that took you long enough, Tobias Eaton."

He turns red, "I didn't want to offend you."

I smile, "you are quite the considerate gentleman. You know me, so you should know I'm not easily offended."

"I do know that," he opens the plastic box and begins to eat, I check each screen and lean back in the seat, setting my feet up on the counter of the control room.

"I couldn't do this at any other job."

"You couldn't."

"I couldn't do half the things I do without you."

"You can't?"

I shake my head, "I'm only me when I'm with you."

Tobias smiles and winks at me. "Tris, you bring out the best in me, you know that?"

"I do...What kind of life do you think we will have?"

"I'm not sure, but I know my life will be a life that involves you."

My eyes are pulled to his, "what do you mean by that?"

Tobias straightens his shoulders, a sign of his confidence in whatever he is about to say, "I want to make this official. Properly ask your father to court you. We can show small displays of affection in public, we would be recognized officially as spoken for by the public of Abnegation."

I can't fight the grin that has appears on my face. Once a man in Abnegation begins to officially and publicly court a woman, it basically signifies that he intends to marry her. Could Tobias really even consider wanting to marry me? I look at my hands, "but, Tobias you could marry any girl here."

"Out of all the girls I could want to court or marry in Abnegation, I would only want it to be you."

"Oh, Tobias..." I grasp his hand in mine and give him a soft kiss, "thank you. I can't believe I am lucky enough to have you."

"I ask myself the same question. We can talk to your father and mother when we get off work. Ask them over for dinner at my house."

"Are you sure? They could come to my house, too."

Tobias shakes his head, "no, this is my choice and decision. I want them to know it came from me. To view us as adults."

"Then we will have it at your house."

I turn to the screens, my hand joined with Tobias, "I could see this being our life Tobias. It may not be as exciting as any where else, but it's still a good one."

"I don't care where we are Tris as long as I am with you."

* * *

><p>Tobias and I stand at my parents door, I stay an acceptable distance from him, despite the fact that I would obviously prefer to hold his hand. My father opens the door and seems slightly taken back by our appearance, "hello, please come in."<p>

I walk in after Tobias and give my father a hug, Tobias clears his throat, "sir, could we speak privately for a moment?"

My father seems to cast a glance at me, "I think that would be beneficial. Beatrice, your mother is in the kitchen. Tobias please follow me." The two of them disappear around the corner and I hear a door click shut. I walk to the kitchen, nervous bubbles bouncing around my stomach.

"Mother?"

My mother turns to me, "Beatrice, it has been almost a month since I saw you. What are you doing here?"

"Tobias wanted to speak with Father."

My mother raises her eyebrows and continues to prepare things for the Factionless.

"I don't know what that look means."

My mother smiles at me, "I was wondering how long it would take Tobias to come here is all."

"You were?"

"Beatrice, I'm a mother. I have eyes everywhere."

"You do?" I swallow and walk around the counter to help her separate the items.

"Well, I know that the two of you spend much time together. It is no secret that you two work together. It is also no secret that you are a frequent visitor at his house and he at yours. Susan sees much more than you would expect."

"Susan!" I look at my mother, "excuse that outburst, Susan?"

"Yes, Susan. I asked her how Tobias and you were and she told me everything I needed to know. Not to mention she can't lie very well. I find this match to be very agreeable, I think you and Tobias are very well suited for each other."

"You do?"

"Of course, you compliment each other. Now your father on the hand, he doesn't think any man is good enough for you. Although, I think he finds Tobias to be a very capable young man, even though you have an age difference."

"Of two years, mother."

"It is a difference none the less. So how is work?"

"Fine. How is work for you?"

"Excellent. Are you getting used to living alone?"

"Yes, I am not home alone very often, but it still can be difficult at times."

"Wait until you have children, running a household gets doubly as hard."

I blush at the thought of Tobias and I having a family. "Really?"

"Oh yes, Beatrice. I expect that if you and Tobias do get married after a couple years of courting and engagement, you will have children. My home is quite quiet now that no children are here. I could use some grandchildren."

"Mother." I turn an even darker hue or red.

My mother laughs to herself, "you remind me much of your father when we first met."

"I do? I thought I was more like you."

"In many ways you are, but your father seemed shocked at some of the things I said. I believe you are the same way." I hear the door open and my father and Tobias's voices. I go still waiting for them to walk into the kitchen.

My father smiles at me and my mother, "we will see you for dinner tonight, Beatrice."

I grin and hug my mother goodbye. I turn to hug my father, as he wraps his arms around my waist, he whispers, "Tobias made a very convincing argument. Good choice, my dear."

I walk out the house with Tobias and turn to him, "what did you say to him?"

"Nothing important."

"Tobias." I warn him in a voice I have learned many women use when dealing with their significant other as well as their children.

"I just told him the truth."

"Which was?"

"Tris, I told him how beautiful you are inside and out. How amazing you are, how brilliant you are, how much I admire your self-sacrificing habits, how brave I find the things you do, how perfect and special you are. I told him how much I don't deserve you and how broken I am without you in my life. I said a lot more than that, but I figure that is all you need to know."

"You said all that?"

"And more."

I stop and look at Tobias, "Tobias, you are perfect, you are gentle and sweet and kind and brave, honest and intelligent. I don't know how you ever fell in love with me."

"Do you think a hug would be to much affection?"

I shake my head, "you know I really don't care." I stand on my tip-toes and press my lips to Tobias's. In this moment, I feel like I might just belong here in Abnegation.


	6. Chapter 6

**My dear friend, Lucy pointed out to me that Tobias has SIX letters and Tris has FOUR letters. **

**Coincidence? I think not! :) Fourtris forever. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

I glance at my watch and head over to see Tobias. I think getting there a few minutes early wouldn't be too bad. I walk outside the house and cross the street. Tobias and I have long since stopped knocking when we enter into each others homes, I swing open the door, "Tobias, I'm here." I walk into the kitchen to see Tobias staring at the food he bought on the counter. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I just haven't done this isn a while."

"You haven't cooked a meal in a while?"

"Tris, you always make lunch for me and dinner, and when I make breakfast it's just toast. So no, I haven't done this in a while."

"Do you need my help?"

He shakes his head, "no, this is my dinner for you and your parents. I can cook, just remind me what temperature to set the oven to?"

"Tobias, why don't I take care of the chicken and you cook the vegetables? Before you say anything, while this is your dinner for us, it is also signifying our relationship is official. So I think I should help."

"Thank you, Tris." Tobias sets a pot on the stove and begins to cook. My gaze lingers on his face, it is moments like these were I see us happy in Abnegation. I don't see us strangled by the selfless world we live in, rather we live within it, even enjoy it. In these brief moments of silence, I can see Tobias and I in a home together, our lives unfolding just as every other Abnegation couple here. I could even see us with children, I blush at the thought and press my hands to my cheeks, hoping to restore them to their pale color. Tobias turns to me, "why are you blushing?"

"I'm not!"

"You are. Why?"

"I wasn't blushing." I busy myself with setting the chicken into the oven and keeping my gaze from Tobias.

"The red cheeks say differently. What made you blush?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does when my girlfriend is the one blushing."

I roll my eyes, "I just thought of something is all."

"What was it?"

"Why do you care?"

Tobias walks towards me and pulls me into his arms, "because I always what to know what you are thinking."

"Honestly? You promise not to laugh at me?"

"I promise."

"Okay, I...never mind it is embarrassing and I don't want to hold you to certain expectations."

"Tris, I need to know your expectations to make sure that I make you happy." He tilts my chin up at him, "and whatever you say it can't be that embarrassing."

"Well, I just...imagined what our lives could be like. And my mother, she made a comment that has got me thinking about...certain aspects of our future."

"Like?"

"Well, she has mentioned, not to say that I want this, just that the idea has presented itself, but the topic of children was brought up. Not that I am saying I want them, I am just telling you that is what made me blush." I feel warmth on my cheeks and frown, "see I'm blushing again."

"Tris, if you decide you want children, we will have them. I want you to be happy. If kids are a part of that then we will have them. Don't be embarrassed your father mentioned something similar to me when we spoke."

I freeze, "he did?"

"Yes, but I would rather not discuss that right now."

"And why not?"

"Because they will be arriving at any moment, and I don't' think they will welcome the sight of you wrapped in my arms discussing children a welcoming picture."

"I think that is a fair assumption." A knock on the door jars my thoughts, I welcome my parents inside and send one last smile to Tobias. I realize that we would still be together, even if we had chosen black instead of grey.

* * *

><p>I shut the door as my parents wave us goodbye. I turn to Tobias, "that went well."<p>

"They didn't have much to say, did they?"

I shake my head, "I think they just wanted to see us interact with each other, observe our relationship."

"Ah, that would make sense. It was nice of them to do the dishes for us."

"It's what they were supposed to do." I walk over to the couch and sit down, "when do we need to leave for work?"

"In a couple of hours, why?"

"No reason. Can we go to the trains today?"

Tobias stays quiet for a long time. I shift in my seat and play with the edge of my shirt hoping he will agree. "Yeah, I think we can manage that. After it's completely dark, though." He sits down next to me and leans his head back, "can you believe how fast time has gone by?"

"No I can't, " I lay my head in his lap and close my eyes, "Tobias, we haven't told your father about us."

"I will handle it."

"Are you sure? I feel like we should have him for dinner like we did for my parents."

Tobias tenses at those words, I open my eyes to see his jaw is tight and his teeth clenched shut, "I will handle it, Tris. Please, do not bring it up again," He tries to keep his tone even, but there is something wild and unpredictable in his voice. I sit up and look at him, he hasn't ever looked that way before, I wonder why Tobias and his father don't seem to get along.

"Alright, you will handle it." I lay back and rest my head in his lap again, I let a soft and comfortably silence settle between us before speaking again. "Let's say we do get married, where will we move?"

"Wherever they tell us to move."

"You just have an answer for everything don't you?"

"I try to." I can feel Tobias twirling a piece of my hair, "ready to go to the trains?"

"Yes, it's dark out right?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>I have only jumped onto the trains a couple of times, but each time I get a little bit better at it. Today I pull myself in and Tobias and I sit leaned against the back of the car, I can't help but feel myself surge with pride at the thought of being strong enough to make it in. I draw my knees to my chest and watch the city fly past me. We roll past the pier and I see a group of Dauntless hiding a bright colored object, "Tobias what do you think they are doing?"<p>

He looks out and focuses on the group, "I guess it is some kind of Dauntless game. It looks interesting,"

I nod and look closer at the pier, the Ferris wheel always fascinated me, I wonder what it would be like to climb it. Maybe that is something else we can do sometime. WE whirl past the pier as Erudite comes into view. I wonder what Caleb is doing right now. I wonder if his initiation has ended. Did he pass? I'm sure he did, he was smart and selfless. Or did I just assume he was selfless when in actuality he was being intelligent instead. Could I have misread my brother? Could I have completely fell for this act he put on for my family and faction?

Tobias wraps his arm around me and kisses my cheek, "we should get off soon. We still need to get ready for work."

I follow Tobias and jump off the train, my landing is still less than graceful. At least I don't fall anymore. I dust myself off and link hands with Tobias. My life here is simple, but I'm grateful for these stolen moments of freedom.

When I get home I stare at the walls and wonder why we can't have anything to make it more like us. To me being an individual isn't an act of selfishness. I do believe in helping others, but Dauntless believe in helping those whoa re weak, aren't they kind of the same thing? The Dauntless don't give up who they are because they help those who are weak and can not stand for themselves. Yet, we embrace a world of sameness to help others. I don't think I fully understand that logic. My body falls into the couch, I set my watch and fall asleep hoping to be well rested enough to stay awake tonight at work.

The irritating beeping sound coming from my ear wakes me up, I straighten myself out and head off to work.

"You're on time, Tris."

"Yes, I am thank you."

Tobias smiles at me, "I spoke with your father a few minutes ago."

"And?"

"Both your parents approve of our courtship, your father even told me that we would speak to mine about our relationship. So we don't have to worry about gaining his approval, he always agrees with your father on most topics."

"So we are officially courting?"

"Yes, we are officially courting."

"Everyone will know we are dating, now..." I think of my parents and then of Tobias's father, "I'm sorry your mother isn't here for this Tobias. I'm sure she was a lovely woman."

Tobias shrugs, "we were never close." I can see something in his expression change.

"But Tobias she is still your mother, even if she isn't here."

Tobias nods and looks into the screens, "Tris?"

""Yes, Tobias."

"Tomorrow would you like to go to the pier."

"Yes, why?"

"I just feel like we need to go out, not just eat dinner and jump on and off trains, but a real date."

I smile, "okay, Tobias are you feeling okay?"

"I am fine, Tris. Just a little distracted."

I nod and wonder why mentioning his mother causes so much distraction for him. If my mother had died I would be distracted too, but Tobias said they weren't close. I remain confused and let the thoughts tumble away as I watch Tobias stare at the screens with this odd look on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I walk with Susan to the Factionless sector carrying boxes of food and clothing, Susan remains quiet humming an old Abnegation rhyme as I glance at the shadows lurking in those empty buildings. "Beatrice?"

"Yes, Susan." I slow my pace and set down the boxes.

"Well, would it be alright if I asked a more...personal question?"

I stare at Susan, Susan Black has never wanted to ask a _personal _question. As a matter of fact, I swore that there couldn't be a curious bone in that girls body. Apparently, I was wrong. "I think that would be fine."

Susan gives me a shy smile and looks at her shoes, "what is it like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what is it like to be in love?"

I blink a few times. Do I _love _Tobias? I care about him, more than anyone besides my family. I can't imagine living here without him, but am I, Beatrice Prior, _in _love _with _Tobias Eaton? I ponder the thought, all my dreams aside, Tobias and I are close and moving in a very serious direction. We tell each other everything, Tobias has told me he plans on marrying me countless times. I never really thought about how I felt in our relationship. I thought about where it would go, about marriage and children, but it never crossed my mind to wonder if I even love Tobias. I look at Susan who is awaiting my answer.

Am I in love? I'm not 100% sure what it even feels like to be in love. I run my hands over my pants and look up into the clear sky. How do I know if I am in love? I know how Tobias makes me feel, he makes thousands of emotions explode within me, like I'm happy and excited and nervous and confused and so wonderfully chaotic I might just fly all at once. Is that how I know if I'm in love? Is it based on the feeling that he gives me? Is being in love based on how well he treats me? Tobias doesn't spoil me like a princess or anything, like I'm fragile and incapable of handling myself. He treats me like I'm strong, I'm brave, like I can do whatever I set my mind to. I chew my bottom lip, I care for Tobias as much as I care for my family.

I love my family.

So it must mean I love Tobias. I look at Susan, "what is it like to be in love?" I take a breath, "honestly Susan, it is indescribable. Tobias makes me feel so special, he makes me feel like no matter what happens to the world around us, I am the only thing that matters to him. I can't describe how he makes me feel, I would love to, but I just can't. Being in love can't be described in words."

"That sounds so amazing," Susan gets this small sad smile. I can see that she must be thinking about Caleb.

I rest my hand on her shoulder, "Susan, I know it must be hard..."

"I will be fine, Beatrice."

"Susan, would you like to talk about it?" I know that Abnegation don't often speak of their own sorrows and misfortunes but I can tell that Susan needs to get this out. You can't completely forget yourself, it is impossible.

"No, I shouldn't."

I sit on the boxes next to my foot and motion Susan to sit next to me. "Susan, I'm here to help you. If you need to speak, by all means speak."

"I really shouldn't."

"Susan, I won't tell anyone about this. You clearly have a lot weighing on your mind, I'm your friend, please be open and talk."

Susan takes a deep breath, "I didn't expect him to leave."

"I didn't either."

"I just thought he would stay here, naturally. He never seemed to be anything but Abnegation. So when he chose Erudite, of all places, I was shocked."

"We were all shocked, Susan." I swallow the small sob in the back of my throat, I miss Caleb. He left us without even the smallest hint that he would switch. It was a betrayal that none of us will forget. One that I won't forget, even if I had chosen Dauntless, it would not have been as underhanded as switching to Erudite. The faction that has tried to taint the reputation of the Abnegation.

"And then Robert..."

The Choosing Ceremony pops into my mind and I see Robert's blood fall into the bowl of soil, "you didn't know he would switch?"

"I had no idea that Robert would choose to leave me. I had no idea that Caleb would leave too. Beatrice, I'm so glad you stayed, I don't know what I would do if I were all alone."

"Oh, Susan." I wrap my arms around her as she lets out a strangled sob. Is this what being Abnegation means? To give myself over emotionally to hold other's pain? "Susan, I'm here and you will find someone else. I promise you will. Caleb is gone now, but there are many other boys who won't leave."

Susan mumbles something into my shoulder, I run my hand down her hair and let her release all the emotions I know she is feeling. I know what it feels like to have your brother leave you, unexpectedly at that. What I don't know is to have your love leave. I can't imagine Tobias leaving me unexpectedly without any indication as to his departure. Susan wipes her eyes and looks at me, "Beatrice, thank you."

"Susan, it is what I am supposed to do as your friend."

She hugs me, "I don't care if I'm not supposed to hug you or not. You deserve this."

"I'm glad I could help you."

Susan stands up and wipes herself off, "well let's get these supplies to the Factionless."

I pick up the box and walk with Susan, wondering how I never recognized how complex of person she truly is.

* * *

><p>I sit down next to Tobias, "see I'm on time."<p>

"How was your day?"

"Well, it was interesting to say the least."

"I want to hear all about it, nothing interesting ever happens in Abnegation."

"Susan cried on my shoulder."

"About?" Tobias presses his fingers to the keyboard.

"Caleb and Robert leaving."

Tobias stops typing, "Robert?"

"A friend of mine."

"Robert is a guy right? Not like the nickname for Roberta or something?"

I laugh, "nope, it's Robert Black. Are you jealous?"

"No, Tris. I was just curious. The two of you are friends?"

"We were friends, he switched to Amity."

"Oh. Continue your story."

"That's about it, honestly. She cried, I held her and she gave me a hug. That's it."

Tobias leans back and stares at the screens, "I was thinking you and I could go to the pier tonight."

"That sounds fun."

"We can even take the trains."

My eyes light up, "I can't wait." We sit in silence while I watch the screens remain blank and Abnegation sits undisturbed.

Tobias takes my hand and closes his eyes, "Tris. What if I said I love you?" I can see that whatever he is getting at is making him nervous.

"I would wonder why it took you so long."

"What if it's because I don't want to scare you away."

"Then I would tell you to be brave."

"Alright, I love you Tris."

I smile and turn to him, "I love you too, Tobias." I kiss him. It's soft and light, one that I hope express how happy I feel at this moment. I wish I could freeze this moment and live in it forever.

By the time Tobias and I leave work the homes in Abnegation are drawn shut, the lights off, no sound except for the occasional bird's cry. We walk to the train tracks and wait for them to come hurdling at us, Tobias pulls himself in and then I follow suit. Tobias stands on the edge holding onto either side of the doors and lets the wind push his shirt to his chest. I can tell that he enjoys this, I do too, the freeing exhilarating rush we get from feeling the wind wrapped around us, adrenaline coursing through our veins, freedom spreading throughout our entire beings. I lay on the train floor and close my eyes. In moments like this I wish I was in Dauntless.

Tobias sits down across from me, "I question my decisions when we are out here."

"So do I." My hair blows into my face and I hear storm clouds crack outside the car.

"That's odd." Tobias seems perplexed.

I sit up and look outside, "what?"

"Erudite's lights are still on."

"It's way past what is allowed for the factions."

"I wonder what they are doing that allows them to have the lights on this late."

"I don't think they have a reason too, my father would have mentioned it at some point. You know how opinionated he is about the Erudite. Maybe it isn't a big deal for the factions."

Tobias watches the Erudite sector fly past us, "maybe."

"I wouldn't worry about it, it probably isn't a big deal."

"Probably," the wheels in Tobias head are spinning, I can see it. He rubs his chin and looks back at Erudite, I say a few more things but he doesn't seem to hear me. Tobias must have seen something I didn't catch perhaps he even knows what is going on. The pier comes into focus and I jump first, my landing is still shaky, but at least now I can land on my feet without falling over. Tobias and I walk past the marsh and I stare up at the Ferris Wheel. "I'm going to climb it."

Tobias is leaned against the Carousel, a horse with a chipped saddle and half a tail, "you are going to climb the Ferris Wheel?"

"Yes, you don't have to come with me." I walk to the ladder and test my weight on the bottom rung, it seems study enough. I begin to climb up towards the top. I hear a creak beneath me, I look down to see Tobias climbing up after me. "I can climb up here, you know?"

"Undoubtedly."

I climb up further and hear Tobias labored breathing below me, I look down, "Tobias? Are you okay?"

"Are you insane? Being this high up doesn't affect you?" His jaw is firmly set, his teeth gritted.

I shrug, "no, I guess it doesn't." Tobias knuckles are flushed white, his grip on the ladder unbreakable. I look up and see a nearby platform, my feet carry me to it, I pull myself across and let my feet dangle below me. Tobias crouches next to me, keeping himself firmly planted on the platform. "Are you afraid of heights Tobias?"

"Tris, do I seem comfortable up here to you?"

I smile, "you didn't have to come up here, you know?"

"I'm aware."

I look out and see a thick pocket of trees in front of me, I can see parts of the city from here. "I'm going up higher."

"Why?"

"I want to see the whole city. You don't have to come."

"Yes, I do."

I stand and place my foot into one of the spokes and fit my hands and feet to the openings until I can see the lights that dot the city, particularly Erudite and a few lights in Candor. Tobias stands behind me, his breath brushing against my cheek. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"I don't feel like this is beautiful."

"It is, Tobias."

"Tris, we could plummet to our deaths right now, it is very hard to focus on the beauty in the scenery when my death is a possibility."

I smile, "we can go down now. Would you like me to go down first to catch you if you fall?"

I can hear Tobias roll his eyes, "I am going down first, in case you need me." Tobias climbs down the rungs of the ladder, each step making it groan beneath him. A large gust of wind blows and turns me to the side of the ladder, I gasp and hold on tightly to the side of the ladder, I feel Tobias hand against my hip as he sets me back into place, "aren't you glad I went ahead of you?"

I let out an uneasy laugh and go down the rungs, Tobias moves much faster than me, my feet a few spaces away from Tobias's hands. I step down and feel the rung fall beneath me, I scream and tighten my grip on the rung I above me. "Tobias!"

Tobias looks up, "Tris, just...hold on, okay." He moves fast, I can hear him moving swiftly. Something creaks beneath me, I look down to see the platform below me. I could die right now. Before Tobias and I ever get to really live our lives together, I could be dead. The Ferris Wheel begins to move and I hold on tighter, it gains momentum. I prepare myself to fall onto the ground. I release the top rung and slam into the dirt beneath the Ferris wheel. The car of the wheel scrapes along my back as I roll away before it can crush me.

I can hardly attempt standing up since Tobias has already pulled me up and into his arms, he looks me over, pinching my sides, lifting my arms, running his hands over my bun, "you are okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, a little shaken from that, but I'm fine."

He kisses my forehead, "I think we have been Dauntless enough for today, let's head home."

I begin to walk with Tobias, but he picks me up into his arms, "Tobias, I can walk. I'm not fragile."

"I never said you were, maybe I just want to carry you home because I love you."

I relax in his arms, "that seems like a fair assumption."

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too." And I know that my love for Tobias is more real and special and so uniquely ours I can't risk losing it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I knock on Tobias's door and grasp the umbrella handle tighter. The lock makes a popping sound, Tobias is the only person I know in Abnegation who locks his doors. I never understand why, we are here in Abnegation, our Divergence is not dangerous here. I don't even lock my door. Tobias opens the door slightly,"Tris?" He swings the door wider and I try to focus my eyes on his, instead of his chest. I feel a bright blush warm my cheeks and I bite my lip and shift my eyes to the edge of the door. My pulse picks up and I struggle to keep myself from smiling.

"Hello, it's uh, raining and we don't um have work today, and...are you busy? I mean if you are then never mind, but I was just wondering. I had to cancel, my um volunteer work for today...you know because of the rain and all, not to intrude on you or anything...You know what you seem busy, I will just go back, um home." I brush a strand of hair that has blown out from my bun into place, I turn on my heel, flustered and embarrassed by how I handled seeing Tobias chest. My sheltered Abnegation life allowing this occurrence to mess with my ability to even focus when speaking to Tobias.

His hand grasps my arm, "Tris come in, I just was getting ready for today. I will toss on a shirt, if it bothers you."

"It doesn't bother me...Well not, I...I'm just going to shut up now."

Tobias laughs and closes the door while he tosses on a shirt. He reopens the door for me to enter. I close my umbrella and set it in the closet next to me. "I will be right back, Tris."

I watch him disappear up the stairs and feel my heart hammering into my chest, so fast in fact my heart may just explode right now. In the kitchen, I look through the cabinets for some tea to heat up, I love tea on rainy days. It is one of the few things we can have here that isn't exactly necessary and in some ways is a bit selfish. Tea is supposed to be only used when we are sick and need the warm liquid to soothe a sore throat or warm someone who has been in the cold for much too long. I hear Tobias footsteps down the stairs and turn to him, "I am making tea."

"Are you sick?"

I cross my arms, "it just so happens that I am simply making tea because I _want _to." I turn on the kettle and lean against the counter, "what were you planning to do today?"

Tobias smiles and sits down at the table, "I wasn't sure. But you are here now, so I will spend the day with you."

"If you wanted to do something else, I can leave. I wasn't thinking very clearly."

Tobias laughs, "I could tell, your cheeks were about as red as an Amity's outfit."

I press the palms of my hands to my cheeks and let out a nervous and sheepish laugh, "was it really?"

"Yes, your Abnegation was showing."

I send a glare his way as the kettle whistles. I pour two cups of tea and set them on the table, "I heard in Amity they put honey in their tea. I wonder what honey tastes like. I bet it's sweet and thick, it always looks that way."

"I figure it would. You always think of the smallest things to be drawn too, honey, eating on the couch, coloring your hair. Small things I would never consider are the very things you take notice of."

I sit down across from Tobias and watch the rain slam into the window, turning my attention to him I sip my tea, "well, I just like to notice the small things. Small details make up little memories, Tobias. All the small things I notice about you I won't forget."

"Ah, and what small things have you noticed about me?"

I smile into my cup and take another sip of tea. Tobias sips his cup, I can feel his eyes staring at me. "Well, I notice small things like...like whenever you are thinking, I mean really in deep thought, you rub your chin." I mimic him and keep my face serious, "and sometimes when you are unsure or undecided on what you want to do you scratch behind your ear...And my favorite is when you are embarrassed or worried about saying the wrong thing to me you rub the back of your neck."

"And why is that your favorite Tris?"

I smirk at him and sip my tea. "It's cute." I stand and open the window behind me, the smell of rain filling the house. "I wish everyday was like this Tobias."

Tobias wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder, "it will be, I promise. When you are older, you and I will be married and everyday will be like this. It will be the two of us in this house, watching the rain fall outside the window." Tobias lips trail my neck, "Tris whatever you want, you will have."

I laugh, "whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want."

"What if I just want you?"

"Then you will just have me,"

"What if I don't want it to be just the two of us?" I smile, Tobias tightens his grip on my waist and I can feel his heartbeat.

"If you want kids we will have them."

"But what if you don't?"

Tobias smiles and kisses my cheek, "I want whatever you want."

"Okay, so let's say I wanted to live in the highest building in the world."

"Now you're just being cruel." Tobias chuckles, its deep and soft. I stare at the rain and close my eyes. If this my life in Abnegation that is perfectly okay with me. It may not be exciting or particularly interesting, it might be dull and grey. But if it's with Tobias it will be a quiet and normal life, full of moments like these where I am truly glad I chose a world of selflessness over a world of courageousness.

* * *

><p>I keep my eyes closed even though I can hear the wind blowing. I wonder how long it has been raining. I think I might just lay here on the couch all day, asleep next to Tobias. I didn't mean to fall asleep, I was truly enjoying the silence between us, just sitting here on the couch. I feel Tobias arms tighten around me, "Tobias?"<p>

"Yeah?"

"I am not moving from this spot all day." My stomach grumbles and I laugh, "after I ear I am not moving from this spot all day. Are you hungry?"

"A little."

A little for Tobias usually means a whole lot. I walk to the kitchen and prepare something to eat, "Tobias what time is it?"

"It's late I know that for sure."

I glance out the window, the sun sits low, the sky a deep midnight blue much like Tobias's eyes, casting an eerie light on the grey tint of Abnegation. Everyone must have retired to their homes and is preparing dinner by now. I carry our plates to the couch and eat dinner listening to the wind die out as night sets in.

By the time we have washed the dishes everyone in Abnegation has to be sitting in their living rooms preparing for another day of work. I stretch and sit by Tobias on the couch, and rest my head on his shoulder, "I should head home, but I don't feel like leaving you yet."

"Then stay, I am not going to make you leave if you don't want to. Go to sleep, you seem tired."

I have felt tired lately, I wonder if maybe my late nights working in the control room and my long days volunteering has caught up with me. I nod and curl up next to Tobias and let him stroke my hair as he tells me a story. I slip into sleep from the steady sound of Tobias voice.

"Tris?"

I blink a few times, I hear my name again but his breath is vibrating into my temple. "Tris?"

I look up, "is it morning already?"

"No, Tris. We need to go now." Tobias stands and tosses me my shoes.

"What?"

Tobias sits me up, "get up. We need to go. Now."

I look at him, "Tobias, what are you talking about?" I hear a scream and a few loud pops. I turn to him "what was that?"

"Gun shots, Tris. Let's go." He takes my hand and pulls me towards the back door.

"Gun shots?"

"Tris, we don't have time to talk about this. Come on." Tobias pulls me out the door and we lean against the wall, I see figures around the corner.

"Tobias...my parents and Susan?" I pull him in the direction of my parents. I hear a few more screams and pops. This has to be a nightmare.

It has to be a nightmare.

I hear another shout cut off from a shot. I shutter, who is doing this? I feel my heartbeat pulsing through my body, I push myself faster, gripping tightly onto Tobias hand. I have to get to my parents, I have to make sure that they are okay. I have to help them.

I can do this, I am Divergent. I have an aptitude for three factions. I need to be smart and be brave. I need to stay selfless.

I have to be brave.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter-9**

My feet pound against the pavement as we run to my parents home. I turn the corner and pull Tobias with me. I press myself against the wall and look around the corner to see a small crowd of Dauntless march with guns in their hands. As they march into houses, I see women being dragged by their hair and gunned down in front of the house. If I was in Dauntless would I be a part of this?

If I was in Dauntless would I be able to stop this?

I cover my mouth to stifle a scream, I remember the goal in mind, I have to save my parents.

I open the back door and head towards my parents room. Up the stairs to the left. I walk up and hear the front door being pounded on. I have to hurry. My parents thankfully locked the front door. I thrust open the door to their room.

No one is here.

Another pound.

I run down the stairs and outside, "they aren't here."

Tobias sighs, "we have to keep moving maybe they are somewhere safe with others who have escaped."

I nod, refusing myself to imagine their motionless bodies in the grass stained with deep crimson blood. Tobias takes my hand and we run past a few more houses when I see a blur of grey run into an alley. I follow it, hoping that maybe it will be someone who can tell me where my parents are.

"Mother?" I whisper.

My mother stands backed against the wall and looks at me, "Beatrice you need to go, now."

"Mother, come with us. We can make it." I hear the marching grow louder. They are approaching.

Tobias looks at my mother, "please Mrs. Prior, come with us. Tris we need to hurry, the Dauntless are getting closer."

"They will kill all of us if we run, I will stay and distract them. Go, Tobias keep her safe."

I can see the internal fight going on within Tobias eyes. "You two leave, I can hold them off."

My mother smiles, and kisses both Tobias and I on the cheek, "take care of her, Tobias." I watch my mother run and grab a gun that was lying in the street next to a body slumped on the ground.

I blink. Everything is happening at once, the screaming pounding into my ears, the gunshots blurring together. My mother, the Dauntless, more gunshots are fired, screams, deafening screams. I begin to let out my own scream, to mix with the others and melt into the air. Tobias hand covers my mouth as I cry and thrash out.

A blur of red. I watch her frame covered in a blur of red, her knees sinking into the pavement. Her head slamming into the ground, a sea of crimson consuming her body.

She can't be dead. I have to help her, if I get there fast enough I can save her. I kick against the solid body holding me back and dragging me away. I let out a muffled yell and soon tears blur my sight and I go still. The strength that was just forcing me to fight has drained from me, like my mother's blood.

She is dead. I let Tobias guide me away, I don't pay attention to where I am going, I just keep replaying it over and over again. There was so much blood, how was there that much blood in her?

I finally feel the pressure on my arms, I assume Tobias hands dragging me away from my mother's body, leave. I look up and everything I ate this morning threatens to reappear. I collapse onto my hands and knees and retch onto the pavement. Someone holds my hair back, but I can only focus on the searing pain in my throat.

I cough a few times and sit on my heels, Tobias stands next to me looking for something. I pull my sleeve up and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I look at the broken glass surrounding me and the smashed windows next to me. We are in the Factionless sector.

"Tobias, why are we here?" My voice is hoarse and weak.

"We are meeting someone who could help us."

I stand up and follow Tobias closely. I wonder if the people he speaks to in the Factionless are those who can offer us help. I see a few people walking. I press into Tobias. Tobias stops near what to me is a random door and knocks a few times, a man with an eye-patch opens the door. If you could call it a door, it's more of a piece of wood that has been eaten by time and weather. Tobias looks at him, "I need to see Evelyn."

Evelyn? I feel some jealousy coursing through my veins. The name sounds oddly familiar and as a result, I get even more jealous. Is this what he was doing in the Factionless?

I don't really notice what Tobias and the man with the eye-patch are saying because of the confusing emotions stirring inside of me. Sadness, anger, jealousy, pain, hope, fear. I feel every emotion crashing into a new one and my heart beat starts to muddle into the odd feelings I am having. I follow him inside, cots line the floor and empty cans are tossed about without a care. I take Tobias hand, painfully aware of how far I am from home. We pass by Factionless and their faces begin to mesh together, I stop paying attention to everything around me and focus on the support from Tobias that I am feeling. His strength is my strength as I struggle to keep tethered to reality. The events of today hit in waves, at some points I begin to wonder if this is some kind of simulation.

Except, I'm Divergent. The simulation doesn't work on me.

Before I know it, I hear my name and snap back to reality. A woman, with an almost regal air about her stands in front of me, dark hair and piercing eyes almost black in color. Much like Tobias own deep blue eyes.

The connection between the two stumbles upon me and I force myself to keep a straight face. Tobias looks at the woman, "Beatrice, this is Evelyn Johnson... My mother."

His mother? Isn't she supposed to be dead? I don't even try to bow my head, much like I would have if this was a normal day. I don't care about being Abnegation, since it seems the Dauntless has wiped us out. I realize quickly that Tobias called me Beatrice. I don't care about keeping up this act of being Abnegation any longer, since my faction is now one on the brink of extinction. "It's Tris."

Evelyn looks at me, then looks at my hand intertwined with Tobias. I have a deep feeling that the relationship between Evelyn and I is not going to go as smoothly as I think Tobias will like. Evelyn nods, "Tris."

I look at Tobias, and can see how tired he looks, I must look a million times worse. I lost my mother today, I have no idea where my father is. Susan? I forgot to make sure she was alright, I'm sure she heard the shots and escaped. The Dauntless hadn't reached the single's sector of Abnegation. Finding Susan is my top priority. I look to Evelyn, "do you know why the Dauntless attacked Abnegation?"

Evelyn looks at me, "we will discuss this later." She begins to walk away.

Tobias doesn't move, "answer her question."

Evelyn looks at us, her lips pressed into a firm line, "we have reason to believe that the Erudite had something to do with it."

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"You are very curious for an Abnegation."

I cock my head to the side and raise my eyebrows, "you are very secretive for a Factionless." It's true, she shouldn't be questioning me, I am the one who fed her and her people for years with my work. She shouldn't really have any secrets, or let alone what looks to me, to be some kind of society within the Factionless.

Evelyn looks at Tobias, then to me, "we sent a few people out when we got news of the attack. We saw Jeanine Matthews among the leaders of the Dauntless."

"Erudite's leader?" I ask, what about Caleb? Does he know about this? I need to get to Erudite and find Caleb, he must know what is going on.

Evelyn nods once again, "you must be tired. Follow me."

We follow her and she shows us to a small corner with a cot and hands us a can of food, I look at it with distaste. I don't want to eat anything ever since I threw up everything. Tobias kisses my forehead, "we will figure this out, Tris."

"We need to get to Erudite, to figure out what is going on."

"Or we can find someone who does know." He says.

"Like who? The only people who would know something would be a Dauntless soldier, a member of Erudite, or Jeanine herself."

"Then we will have to get one of them."

I stand up, "let's go."

"Tris, get some rest and we can sort out a plan later."

I turn to Tobias, "my brother is somewhere in Erudite, unaware of my mother..." I blink back tears and focus, "my father, I don't know if he is dead or alive. We haven't found Susan. I need answers. I can't just sit here and do nothing."

Tobias bites his lip, "alright, we will go when everyone falls asleep."

I sigh, "thank you."

I sit down next to Tobias and lean my head against his shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you." Tobias wraps his arms around me and closes his eyes, "we will get through this Tris, I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I stare out the broken glass window, waiting for the Factionless breathing to mingle together into one steady sound. I feel Tobias breath against the back of my neck, he is awake, but resting. I shift slightly and from the corner of my eye, I can see Tobias's eyes closed shut, his lips slightly parted. Despite how relaxed he seems, I can see the worry and concern etched into his face.

A cold breeze blows through the window and I snuggle closer to Tobias, hoping that maybe if we just lay here long enough, I can make sense of the life we have been thrown into.

Things were going perfectly, just absolutely perfect. Tobias and I were happy, a little strangled by Abnegation's life, but we were happy with each other. I turn to face Tobias, and press a light kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Tris?"

I smile, "yes?"

Tobias opens his eyes and stares at me, his eyes are such a memorizing blue. I twist my fingers into his hair, staring intently at his eyes, "I love you, Tobias."

He smirks and kisses my cheek, "I love you, Tris."

"No matter what happens, we will make it through this. Right?"

"Of course, Tris. I love you remember?"

I grin and press my lips to Tobias's and let myself get lost in this brief moment of peace. The sound of footsteps forces me to pull away from Tobias. Evelyn clears her throat, "Tobias we have talked as group and should the Erudite choose to attack us everyone here needs to be able to defend themselves. I know you are tired and need to rest, but for right now your ability to protect yourself is more important...My offer still stands." Evelyn shifts her eyes to me and waits for Tobias to answer. I flash Tobias a slight glare and he seems to understand.

Tobias looks at Evelyn, "give us a moment?"

Evelyn scowls and steps away speaking quietly to the man with the eye-patch. I sit up from the makeshift bed we are lying on, "Tobias, what is she talking about? What offer?" I shake my head, "no, first things first, how is she even alive?"

Tobias sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "we can talk about my mother being alive later, I would rather discuss that when we are alone...The offer she made, was for me to come join the Factionless a little while back. She was offered me a place here among them."

"And you didn't go because you didn't want to leave your father?" Marcus and Tobias never seemed very close, but I can understand why he prized his relationship with his father over his mother. At the moment, I prefer Marcus strict Abnegation personality over Evelyn's distaste for me. I feel a small pang of distress at the thought of living my life without Tobias.

Tobias tenses at the mention of his father, I wonder why. He stares at me, "I met you."

I feel my cheeks warm, "you stayed for me?"

"Of course, Tris. I love you." He brushes my hair back and then looks towards were Evelyn is. Evelyn looks towards us, making her way back to Tobias and I.

Evelyn adjusts her shirt and looks past me if I am not even standing in front of her. "Have you come to a decision?"

Tobias looks at me, "yes. But the same rules apply to Tris, she gets everything I do, and she is treated with the same amount of importance."

Evelyn frowns, "why?"

"She is my girlfriend, she is perceptive, I trust her as much as myself. She is another pair of eyes more observant than mine."

Evelyn rests her hands on her hips, "fine."

* * *

><p>The man with the eye-patch looks over us, "I'm Edward. I left Dauntless."<p>

"You left?" I ask. Tobias takes my hand and we follow Edward through a hall and down a flight of steps, we come to, what I assume was a lobby, but is now a large broken room of shattered materials. Edward sets out a small knife and a gun on the table. My eyes well up with tears at the mere thought of the gun that killed my mother.

"I left after my eye was taken out...with a butter knife."

I shudder, maybe I wouldn't have survived in Dauntless. I might have ended up here in the Factionless. Edward picks up the knife and stares at Tobias, "you're thin, you don't have much muscle. I figured as much being a Stiff. Do you have any skills outside of picking up trash?"

"We can jump on and off the trains from Dauntless." My voice isn't even, it cracked at some points, but I'm proud of myself for speaking up. Edward looks at me, his eyes skirting around my frame. Not in a lustful way, by any means, but I can tell he is sizing me up, writing me off as a frail girl who won't exceed at fighting.

Edward snorts, "I'll believe that when I see it...You're small."

I rest my hands on my hips, "small doesn't mean deficient."

Edward's lips curl up into a cruel smile, "I like your spunk. We are going to be here all night learning, so pay attention and do as I say. I don't like to repeat myself." Edward picks up the knife and points to a piece of Erudite blue fabric on the wall, "watch me carefully." Edward focuses on the fabric, he takes in a breath and shows us his stance. He thrusts his arm forward, it lands in the middle of the fabric. "The stance is simple, legs apart, back straight, focus on the target." He hands me the knife, "here, Tris, you can go first."

I grasp the knife, balancing it in my the palm of my hand, realizing the power I hold within my hands. I test the weight of the knife and then set it on the ground beneath me. I throw an imaginary knife at the pieces of scrap clothing pinned to the wall, which serve as targets. I do this a few times, and once I feel prepared reach down and pick up a knife. It sails through the air into the piece of Erudite blue fragment. It doesn't stick, but I at least hit the target. Edward makes me continue this pattern until I have hit the fabric at least a dozen times in a row. My arm is sore, I sit down and lean against the wall. I don't think I can handle much more physical activity for today. Instead of practicing throwing the knives, Tobias shifts his arm back and launches the knife forward. It hits the yellow of Amity without a single miss. Tobias was meant to be Dauntless, he just watched me throw knives for at least a couple of hours, and he manages to throw one and hit the target He takes the knife out and sends it into the Erudite blue fabric and comes breaths away from where I pierced the wall the first time. Edward makes him repeat the process, sure that his success was a fluke, but he quickly proves that he is simply a fast and accurate learner. Edward passes me his gun, I stare at it wide eyed and worried I might shoot it on accident, this is a powerful weapon if not used with certain kill, and dare I say finesse. "Don't worry, Tris, it's loaded."

My mother was killed with a gun just like this. My breathing picks up, I watch her body fall in a blur of red, the way her body hit the pavement lifeless. How her head just snapped into the ground without a single sound. I feel tears pressing out my eyes and streaming down my cheeks. I am holding the very weapon that killed my mother. I am learning how to kill someone, take them away just like a soldier took my mother. What would she think?

I can't do this. I can't do this, I can't do this. I finally break down, "I can't do this!" I crumble to my knees, holding tightly onto the gun and sobbing into my scratchy grey shirt. "I'm so sorry, Mother. I am so sorry..."

Tobias lifts my chin, I sob into his chest and wrap my arms around his neck. I feel him pry my hand off the gun and sets it down, "Tris, you don't have to do this."

I can't do this...But I have to, my father is out there. My brother, other innocent and scared Abnegation are out there. Hopping that someone will save them, that someone will care, that things will get better. I can't let my mother's death have been in vain, I shake my head, "I have to."

"Tris, are you sure?" I nod my head and Tobias sighs, "Just...stop if you can't okay? Don't push yourself." He kisses my temple and whispers, "I love you. I believe in you. I trust your decision."

I nod and take the gun back. I adjust my fingers to the trigger, my other hand being a support. I raise it and Edward adjusts my posture, "shoot that can right there. Well, try." Edward points to a can nestled in the window sill surrounded by already broken glass fragments. I adjust the gun and take a shot.

I miss.

I stumble back slightly shocked at the momentum caused by pulling the trigger. Edward raises his eyebrows, "good thing I am doing this now, huh?"

I scowl and push myself onto my feet and stand in position again, I take a few fake shots before actually pulling the trigger. I raise the barrel and stare just above the can, I take a breath.

Breath. Pull Trigger. Breath. Recoil. Breath.

The sound of the bullet piercing the wall surrounding the window brings me back to focus. Edward rests a hand on my shoulder, "you hit something. Try again."

My shot was to the left, I need to correct that. I remember learning about momentum and direction in school, I try to recall how the math can help me shoot on target. I aim my gun upwards slightly and more towards the right, counting on my tendency to shoot left and down to even out my miscalculation. Taking another breath I pull the trigger.

Bullseye.

Edward nods, "do it again. Replicate that shot at least six times and then hand the gun to Tobias." I nod and do as I'm told. It takes me another hour or so, but I manage to hit the target eight times without too much hassle. Tobias takes the gun from my hands and aims it, his first shot nicks the can. I stand mouth agape behind him, "Tobias? How did you do that?"

He shrugs, "lucky shot." He aims and misses. Edward corrects him, I get tired after about half an hour watching Edward and Tobias try to perfect the process of shooting a gun. I watch Tobias take yet another moment to evaluate the situation carefully, he finally turns and adjust himself. I watch his chest rise and fall as he prepares to take the shot.

He blows a whole right through the center. Edward clears his throat, "same as Tris. Replicate it six times."

I yawn and begin to fall asleep as the time blurs past. I close my eyes and fall asleep in the dust of the Factionless.

* * *

><p>"Tris, wake up. The Factionless are meeting soon."<p>

I snuggle closer to Tobias, "do I have to?"

"Wake up, I know you are sore. You got more sleep than I did."

I open my eyes, "I did?" I sit up and stretch, "why?"

"Edward taught me some hand to hand combat, apparently he was an Erudite transfer. He studied hand to hand combat while in Erudite. We were up until about an hour ago, sparring. I brought you up here after you fell asleep, you've been though a lot and you need rest." Tobias kisses my cheek, "go ahead and get up. I think they captured a Dauntless soldier, no one will tell me for sure, but they keep whispering about it."

I stand and take his hand, "let's go then." We walk down the stairs and run into Evelyn.

Evelyn frowns at us, "are you aware of the Divergent?"

I tense, the word said aloud feels dangerous and deadly. I feel like a target has been painted onto my back, the words labeled on my forehead, so the whole world can know that I am Divergent. Divergent in my mind is synonymous with dead. Evelyn looks between the two of us, "you are safe to speak here."

Tobias is the first to open his mouth, "yes we are aware."

"Then you understand that they cannot be controlled?"

"Yes," I say.

Evelyn sits down in a dusty chair, that looks about ready to collapse, "the Dauntless were under simulation. Do you have an idea of who put the simulation in Dauntless?"

The wheels in my head turn for a few moments, "by Erudite." I shut my mouth as my lips finish forming the words.

Evelyn looks directly at me, "and how did you have that information?"

Her voice was a little to hostile for my liking, the Dauntless part of my Divergence seems to be coming out, I tilt my chin up in defiance to Evelyn, "it seemed simple enough. You already stated that Erudite had something to do with it, and since the Erudite manufacture the serums it would make since for them to be the ones who created it."

Tobias crosses his arms, "so Erudite did this? How can you know for sure? This all just speculation, Evelyn."

"That is why you are here. We received a Divergent member of Dauntless who was aware during the simulation."

I clench my teeth together, there was a Divergent in Dauntless? Why didn't he stop the attack? Why didn't he try to save anyone? How many other Divergents were in Dauntless? Could they have stopped the attack, they could have saved lives. I can sense by Tobias posture that he is having the same thoughts as me.

If they did something, my mother could still be alive.

She hasn't even been gone a day, and I haven't been able to properly mourn her. The sadness is much like a wave, crashing upon me all at once, then ebbing away slowly, soon it's just a dull lap over me. Then it will come crashing upon me all over again. And my father? I don't know where he is or if he is even alive. Caleb? Could he have stopped this? Did he know about this serum from Erudite?

I hear my name, and force myself to focus on the task at hand. My mourning can wait, my pain can be ignored, right now I need to focus on the now.

I turn to Evelyn, "we don't have much time, it seems. Why don't we meet this Divergent?"

Evelyn crosses the room and opens a door, I follow Tobias inside and see a boy with dark skin and curly black hair standing against the wall. His clothes are black, Dauntless, rumpled and creased from strenuous activity. He is covered in sweat and grime, dried blood across his knuckles and hands. A gun strapped to his back.

I feel Tobias grip on my hand subside, then feel the pressure of his arm on my waist, protective to say the least. Evelyn looks between us, "Tobias, Tris, this is Uriah."

Uriah steps forward and begins to offer his hand, then thinks better of it and steps back, "hello."

Could he have saved my mother? Focus, Tris, just focus. Breath. "Hello," I keep my voice even. What am I supposed to say?

Tobias seems to have a few questions, so I let him speak first, "so this was simulation?"

Uriah sighs in relief at some of the tension between the three of us being lessened, "yeah. Their eyes were glazed over, they were mindless to me, they didn't recognize what they were doing. It was as like someone had just kicked them out of their heads and taken control."

"And you weren't affected because you're...Divergent?" Tobias whispers the word out in more of a question. Like he is unsure of what a Divergent is, or that he is sure that upon uttering the words aloud we will be found. As if it still could get us killed.

Which it can, that word has power, it deserves to be whispered silently. Or not said at all.

Uriah nods, "I'm Divergent, which means that-"

"We know what it means," I snap.

Uriah looks at me, "you do? You understand it?"

"Of course." I stop myself from continuing, Evelyn doesn't need to know about my secrets. She isn't entitled to anything regarding my life, so I decide to keep this to myself. Tobias loosens his grip on my hip, a sign that he must find something in Uriah that seems trustworthy. "Is the simulation still going?" I ask.

"Yes, they..." he takes a breath, "they have...someone in the control room who can work the simulation. Our leaders made sure to have someone who could run the simulation on the computers with some ease."

"So the leaders were the ones who agree to help do this with Erudite. Who is in the control room?" Tobias questions.

"My brother, Zeke...He, he is under simulation too, it's just he is the one who holds the controls."

"If we stop him, we stop the simulation," I feel a plan formulating in my mind.

Tobias looks at Evelyn, "could we all speak privately?"

Evelyn says no with a firm shake of her head, Tobias looks at me, "we have to help them stop the simulation."

"Then what?" I look down at the floor, "Erudite will have to pay for this action. They murdered Abnegation by using the Dauntless as puppets. The Dauntless have to wake up from this, how will the other factions react? How will the newly awakened Dauntless react? They might agree with the decisions that their leaders made. If they do, then two factions murdered Abnegation, how ill Amity and Candor feel?" My mind is beginning to buzz from everything that is happening right now. I take a few deep breaths.

Tobias paces, concentration written on his face, "we need to stop the simulation."

"No, we need to go to Erudite, we should go the source of the simulation serum." I spit back.

Tobias looks at me, "Tris now that we know how to stop the attack directly, let's stop it."

"If we do that we are treating the symptom not the cause. We can probably stop the simulation and destroy any other serums in Erudite. Find the leader of Erudite and make them pay for this!"

Tobias presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "Tris, going to Erudite would be a suicide mission."

"Not if we were smart about it, Tobias."

"Tris, we can't fight. We have no weapons, no idea what we are looking for. Instead, we go to Dauntless control room stop the simulation. Regroup here and decide how to handle the people who caused the attack."

Uriah speaks up, "I think that what we should do is stop the simulation from the control room. Come back here, wait for the Dauntless to wake up from the simulation. Then go from there."

I stay quiet and look at Tobias, Evelyn smirks proudly. She thinks that one fight, no not a fight, disagreement will split us apart?

"That sounds fine," I turn on my heels and walk out into the lobby. I slip outside into the cold air, this whole attack is messing with my head.

I need to focus, channel all of my thoughts to stopping this simulation.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

* * *

><p>I take one last breath before deciding to take a walk to let my anger at everything that is happening drain. I walk around the building a few times and sit on the curb twisting the watch on my wrist. It's stained with blood, I'm not even sure how that happened and I shudder at possibilities. I hear someone behind me and whip around, expecting Tobias. Evelyn wears a proud grin which makes me even angrier than I was before. She thinks that one fight, no not a fight, disagreement will split us apart? I'm angry but my anger isn't going to push Tobias and I to end the relationship that has been developing for months.<p>

"hello, Evelyn."

"Tris."

"Can I help you?"

Evelyn stands taller, "I feel like you should be aware of the fact that you are not a permanent fixture in Tobias's life. That should be very obvious given the events of a few moments ago."

"Tobias and I love each other. I won't be going anywhere, any time soon." I tried so hard to let my anger go, worked so much to make sure that I could remain selfless and polite to everyone I meet. And Evelyn just threw all the work out the window.

"You are a replaceable girlfriend, you will go away at some point. I'm sure you are one of many. But I'm his mother, I won't go anywhere. I recommend you leave now, while you still have a chance of being reunited with the other Abnegation. I heard that they went to Amity for refuge. Tobias belongs here, you do not."

How dare she? "I'm not leaving." I stare at Evelyn, "and you did go. You left him to Marcus who had to raise him without a mother. You are not his mother, yes you gave birth to him, but you didn't love him or care about him like most mothers do." I feel tears sting my eyes at the mention of my mother, I blink them away, "I won't just leave him like you did. I am here for him no matter what, you don't even deserve to have him as a son, Evelyn. He is intelligent, and kind, and honest, and brave, and sweet, and loving, and just absolutely perfect. I am truly sorry you didn't get to see him grow into such an amazing person...And...And I love him, and I am not just going to disappear on him when times get hard."

Evelyn snickers at me, "you think you know Tobias, but you don't. You don't know anything about him. I know my son and you will be gone from his life once he realizes he doesn't need you."

"I don't know him?" I scoff at her, she just doesn't understand what Tobias and I have. I take a sharp breath, "I know more about him then you ever could. I know that his favorite color is the color of the sky, I know that he loves rainy days because he likes the sound. I know that his favorite day of the year is April 6, because it was the day that he first met me. I know that he loves his chicken a little burnt on the ends and he always eats his peas his eyes closed because he hates the taste. I know that when he wakes up early in the morning his hair sticks up in the back and that he still sings his ABCs when he brushes his teeth...I know that he loves my laughter even though I hate it, I know that he thinks I am beautiful even when I'm not, and I know that I am madly in love with him and I wonder every day why Tobias Eaton is in love with me." I glance at Evelyn, "I think it's best if you left Tobias and I alone, from now on."

Evelyn purses her lips together, "when this entire relationship ends you are going to realize that you were wrong about him. And you are going to wish you had listened to me when this conversation began, _Beatrice._"

"I hope Tobias sees you for the woman you are, manipulative, selfish, and _completely _replaceable." I don't wait for her to respond to what I have said. I turn on my heel and walk to the doors of the building but stop short. Was he standing here this entire time? I stare at Tobias and see that the anger within his eyes. Is he upset that I spoke against Evelyn? Did he realize that he could have a beautiful woman, not a little girl? I take a breath before running past Tobias and Uriah to the roof at the top.

A million questions run through my head. What if Evelyn was right? What if Tobias sees me for the little girl that I am? I stand at the top of the roof and look down at the street below, my mother is down there somewhere, rotting. I'm up here, on the verge of tears over a boy and my entire world is crumbling around me. Where is my father? Where is Caleb? Everything is falling apart because of one person's greed and thirst for power. How can one thing just toss my world into complete chaos?

I feel the air shift around me, "Tobias?"

Tobias stands next to me and put his hands in his pockets, "I heard what you said to my mother..."

Everything that has ever happened in my life crashes down on me in this second. All the frustration of growing up in Abnegation, all the stress of my Aptitude test, Caleb's betrayal, my fear of being Divergent, my uncertainty of my relationship with Tobias, my mother's death, my father's disappearance, every raw emotion I have felt. I open my mouth to respond to Tobias and instead end up fighting tears. "I should go, Tobias."

"Don't listen to what she said, Tris. Tris," Tobias looks at me, "I love you. My mother deserved that." Tobias kisses me lightly on the lips, but holds me close to him, "it's okay to cry, Tris. So much has happened to you, I wouldn't think anything less of you if you cried. I would think you were strong, it takes bravery to cry, Tris."

"I don't feel brave, I feel like a coward, I feel small, I feel like I'm not enough."

Tobias kisses my temple, "Tris, don't worry about any of that, just know that I love you and that is all that matters."

I nod and stand in Tobias's embrace until I feel his grip on me loosen, "we should go inside. We need to get to Dauntless soon."

* * *

><p>Uriah twirls a knife between his fingers, I watch carefully as it twists and turns between his hand and never once makes contact with his skin, but the blade comes alarmingly close. How is he so comfortable with this? Would I be this comfortable with it, if I was in Dauntless? Uriah glances at me, "you're small."<p>

I resist rolling my eyes, first Edward now Uriah? Is everyone determined to undervalue me for my stature? "I will tell you what I told Edward, small doesn't mean deficient."

Uriah puts his hands up in mock surrender, "apparently it means feisty...We need to go, there should be some guns lying around from soldiers who somehow are incapacitated or dead." Uriah glances at me and must see my question. Uriah frowns, "no one was really ever fighting back, but Eric hates certain people and took them out knowing how they couldn't fight him back."

"Eric?" Tobias questions.

"That's one of our leaders. A violent, manipulative, sadistic person. Change into something black from the Factionless, if you look Dauntless and mindless they won't question us. In that grey you have targets literally on your back."

I start sifting through the dirt and trash lining the floor of the room we are in. I come across a large black shirt and toss it to Tobias along with a pair of dark jeans. I force myself to continue going through the scattered litter instead of allowing my eyes to wander over Tobias. I finally find a pair of jeans that I hope fit and a long sleeved shirt that I know will be to large for me. I turn to the boys, "I am going to change now."

Uriah nods and continues looking at me, Tobias growls and hits Uriah in the head and turns him around. Both boys stand with their backs to me as I change as quickly as possible. The pants hang off my hips and I find a piece of fabric and use it as a belt, rolling the sleeves up but the shirt clings to my body in a way that almost makes me feel naked. Hopefully the belt ensures that my pants won't fall to the ground and I won't look too out of place. "You can turn around now."

Tobias look at me and smiles. I feel my cheeks warm at the fact that he can now see every curve of my body, not that there are that many. Uriah snickers, "okay you guys can flirt or whatever the Abnegation call this process of smiling at each other...When you guys smile at each other does that make you married?"

"No, it does not." I snap, Tobias laughs under his breath. He kisses me for a brief moment, but within it, full of passion and love and this new tingling bubbles forth form my stomach.

Uriah gasps, "you guys kiss like that?"

Tobias quirks an eyebrow at Uriah, "how do you think all these little Abnegation kids get here?"

Uriah nods as if Tobias has just told him why the sky is blue, "well there are a lot of them, so that is a valid point."

"We need to go, boys." I strap the knife Uriah gave us to the inside of my belt as we head outside into the cold air. We walk to the trains, "jump on," Uriah hollers from the left of me.

I follow his lead and run along the train, pulling ourselves in with ease. I don't know if I trust Uriah, but for the time being he has made me laugh once or twice. Maybe if we were in Dauntless together we could have become friends. I try to forget about my mother for a moment and focus on this exhilarating feeling that being on this train gets me. I glance at Tobias then shift my focus to the city blurring past my eyes.

What does it take for our worlds to fall apart like this? Better yet, what does it take to drive someone to do this?

I just wish that the answer was simpler than what my life has turned into.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

We near the rooftop and Uriah jumps, I pull Tobias along with me and crash into the gravel on the roof. My palms red and bleeding from the rocks scraped across my hands, Tobias dusts himself off, his jaw tight. I can't help the laughter that is consuming me. I just laugh, that was insane. Amazing and insane and absolutely freeing. Uriah smiles and jumps off the roof. My eyes widen until I hear his voice at the bottom. There must be something there to catch us, from here it looks like a bottomless abyss. Tobias swallows, "I don't know how I can manage to do this, Tris."

I smile and press a kiss to his cheek, "together?"

He takes my hand, I count to three and laugh as we plunge through the air landing into a net, cradled in safety. Tobias gets off first, he offers his hand to pull me off. I stop laughing as Uriah hands us a gun, "I don't know who is in here or who we will face. If this should be the day I die, it was a pleasure meeting you. You're not half bad...for stiffs." Uriah looks around, "I am heading to the control room, I need your help to get in." We nod and follow him through a large opening in the compound.

Tobias leans over and whispers, "welcome to Dauntless."

Despite, the situation, I find myself smiling. Tobias and I walk through the compound, Uriah turns to us, "stay here at the chasm and stand guard. I don't think too many soldiers will be here in the compound. If you hear anything, like my pained screams or dying cries, try and help save me. You know, if it fits into your schedule and all." He heads towards what I assume is the control room.

I nod, and look into the chasm, the rushing cold water splashing against my feet. "It's amazing, Tobias."

Tobias peers over the rail, "it is."

Pressing my fingers to the railing, my mind lapses into the thought of Tobias and I possibly having a life here. Tobias fingers grasp mine, "things are changing Tris."

"I know," the chasm roars beneath me, serene and violent all at once, reminding much of Tobias and I and our relationship. Calm and peaceful on the outside, but completely passionate and churning upon closer examination. The two of us seem like quiet Abnegation, but we are both Divergent, we were both meant to be different. "Tobias, if things are changing, what does that mean for us?"

"We will adapt, we always adapt, Tris. Maybe this is a second chance, a chance to make the right decision."

I hit Tobias shoulder, "are you saying you made the wrong decision choosing Abnegation and staying for me?"

"Yes, I made the wrong decision staying in Abnegation, but nothing about you is wrong."

I blush, and drum my fingers along the railing of the chasm, I look around to make sure that we are alone and Uriah didn't return with his brother from the control room. I fit my hands to Tobias's neck and pull his lips to mine. I pour all my emotion into that one moment, my mother's death, my people's genocide, my newly formed courage and bravery, my love for Tobias.

Tobias pulls away from me, "that was new."

"I'm not sure I understand, what you are saying about me?"

"I am not saying anything about you, just that your lips haven't ever kissed me like that before. It was new."

The blush on my cheeks must be very bright, because Tobias laughs and leans on the railing, twisting the knife we received in his hands. I hear something over the roar of the chasm, "Tobias, did you hear that?"

Tobias looks at me, "no, what was it?"

"I don't know." I turn and walk towards the hallway I saw Uriah disappear into, the sounds get louder, the noises resembling what I think is struggle. I can hear Tobias breaths behind me, my hand secures the gun, "are you ready?" I ask.

"Isn't this the kind of thing we were meant to do?"

The words meant to escape my lips fall silent, as I hear a gunshot fire. Turning the corner, I see Uriah fighting against a soldier, I aim my gun, but the images of my mother play through my mind, and I freeze. The solider falls to his knees after another shot. I turn to Uriah, "I'm sorry I didn't shoot. But good shot."

Uriah raises an eyebrow at me, "I didn't shoot."

Uriah and I turn to Tobias who is setting his gun back the waistband of his jeans, "did you shoot, Tobias?" I try to keep my tone even, but the gratitude I feel towards his bravery seeps through anyway.

"Yes." He swallows, his face grim. That wasn't an easy decision to make, but Tobias made it, knowing that Uriah could be killed if he failed.

Uriah pats Tobias on the back, "and why didn't you switch again?"

"We should keep moving," I roll my eyes and follow Uriah up the flight of some nearby steps. Uriah peeks his head around the corner, glancing into the hall.

"Only one soldier here, it's Peter, who I wouldn't mind killing myself."

I peer over Uriah's shoulder, and this boy, Peter sees me. He doesn't seem to be under the influence of the simulation. Peter raises his gun and shoots at me, I stand frozen as the bullet strikes near me. I need to be brave.

I take a deep breath, and shoot back, hitting him in the leg. Peter collapses into the ground, writhing in pain.

Feeling a small victory, and some over confidence, I take a step into the hallway in full view, "go on, Uriah. Tobias and I can handle him." I glance at Peter and see that he has fallen unconscious.

Uriah moves forward to what I assume is the control room, Tobias takes my shoulders and examines me, "you didn't get nicked or scratched?"

"I'm fine, Tobias."

"No cuts?"

"I'm fine," I say as Tobias continues to question me. Frustrated, I kiss Tobias deeply, getting lost in him, my fingers tangled into his hair. I don't hear a thing, but as a hot searing pain consumes my shoulder and I hear a blaring pop, I realize a gun was fired. The pads of my fingers press to the heat in my shoulder, I examine them, sticky with crimson. Another shot vibrates behind me, but I am much to focused on the crimson painted on my fingers.

I can't believe I got shot.

Tobias has leaned me against the wall, pressing some fabric to my shoulder, my breath has hitched in my throat. Is that all my blood? How is all that blood seeping through my shirt and into the fabric? Do I really have that much blood?

I start hyperventilating, that's all my blood.

"Tris, stop. Just, take a few deep breaths, focus on taking deep breaths."

I do as I am told, and feel Tobias fingers against my shoulder, "Tris, I need to pull that bullet out before I can stop the bleeding, on three okay?"

I breath out an okay, as his fingers as gingerly as possible move around the hole in my shoulder. My screams pierce the air, pain radiating throughout my entire body at the feeling of a bullet being pulled from within my shoulder. "I only got a fragment out, Tris." My head begins to pound, is the blood from my shoulder just pouring out now? Like a waterfall? The edges of my sight begin to blur, the pounding in my head becoming unbearable. I collapse into Tobias, letting him support my weight.

I fight to keep my eyes open as the room begins to spin around me, my grip on Tobias growing tighter. I can hear my name, distantly, I know that voice. Whose voice is that? Keeping my fingers locked onto Tobias, I struggle to turn and see who is calling my name.

Tobias sets me down against the floor, "stay awake, Tris."

I think I said that I would, but I can't remember what if those words left my lips at all. "Tobias," I feel like I am going to die, is this what death feels like? A strangling sinking feeling, like reaching for something but coming up short, striving for breath but air falling just a bit from your lips. "I love you, in case," I take a breath. I don't think this will kill me, but what if it does? If it does, I want to Tobias to know how much I love him.

Tobias smiles at me, "Tris you aren't going to die...You got shot, in the shoulder. You will survive. Besides it wasn't deep, you bled as much as I would expect is normal for someone who just got shot. You aren't leaving me, Tris."

I try and push my dramatic reaction aside, taking another breath, I bite my lip, "is that a threat?"

"If that's what it takes to keep you with me."

I allow myself a moment to catch my breath, "I won't ever leave you, Tobias."

Tobias sits against the wall with my head in his lap, he stares towards the room Uriah ran into. I wonder if he has managed to shut off the simulation, he said to let him handle the situation, so Tobias and I sit here letting the weight of today's events register for us. Just this morning, I thought today would be a normal day, that I would pretend to be selfless and come home to Tobias. Everything that has happened today changes my whole life, my life wasn't ever supposed to turn in this way. I was going to stay in Abnegation, I was going to marry Tobias, we might have a kid or two, we would live our lives together, grow old together. We would be forever trapped within a sea of grey.

"Tobias what happens if we stop the simulation?"

"I don't know, but things will change."

"Where will we go? There isn't a home for us in Abnegation. Everyone is either dead or a fugitive."

"We can make a life somewhere else."

"Where? Not, Dauntless. Tobias, they just killed our people, my..." I choke up at the mention of my mother, "why would we stay here? I am having a hard time with the thought even though they were under simulation...It doesn't make them completely blameless does it? People are still dead by their actions."

"Not really their actions, someone else, but I understand the logic. We could go with the Factionless."

The thought of spending my time with Evelyn makes me cringe, "your mother hates me." I shut my eyes as Tobias twirls his fingers through my hair.

"She doesn't hate you, she is just...not embracing you." I can hear his smirk.

"Oh really? That's a comforting thought...She hates me Tobias, she thinks I am 'replaceable'."

"In her life maybe, but not in mine."

I smile and try to shift to face Tobias, but feel pain coursing at the sudden movement and decide on laying this way instead. I try to imagine the future with Tobias, that I have dreamed about many times, "Tobias?"

"Yes?"

"Would you marry me?" I wince at my words, "not like now? I mean hypothetically and all, not like now. So like in a hypothetical way, would you ever hypothetically marry me? You don't have to answer, never mind."

"Tris, if you wanted me to marry you right now I would."

I stay quiet, letting the smile playing on my lips speak for itself. I allow myself to fall into a state between the darkness of sleep and being entirely awake, while we wait for Uriah to save his brother.

A jostling shake wakes me, I flutter my eyes open, "Tobias?"

"We are getting off the train, do you think you can manage with your shoulder?"

I move it slightly, and nearly pass out. "I can manage," I lie. The concern in Tobias voice, makes me feel like I should feel fine, I hate seeming him this worried.

I can see him watching me closely, for any sign that I am in pain. I look around the train car, "Where is Uriah and his brother?"

"In the car next to us...It seemed like they needed some time alone, given the situation."

"Where are we going?"

"Back to Evelyn. We have no were else to go, do we?"

"I guess not...What about my father?"

"I assume with the other refugees who I heard have gone to Amity."

I nod, "your right, there isn't anything there for us. I want to find my father though, and tell him..." I swallow, "what happened."

"We will, when we know it's safe to do so. I don't need you shot in the other shoulder."

"It's good to know that you care so much about my shoulders health."

Tobias kisses my lips, my cheek, then trails them down my neck. I feel the blush on my cheeks, he hasn't ever done that before. I think of my fear, and the feeling that I get when Tobias is near me. This fear can't be rational, I think to myself. How can someone who makes me feel so loved and the idea of manifesting that, scare me?

"Tobias, we need to get off the train," the Factionless sector goes by in a blur. Tobias helps me stand and we jump together, the pulse from landing sending shocks of pain through my shoulder. I clench my teeth and keep the scream in the back of my throat from slipping out. Tobias pulls me close to him, as I see the two figures form the train car next to us jump out. Uriah nears me, with a boy who though he looks older than Uriah, is shorter than him. His eyes are bloodshot, I assume from managing the simulation. I hold some distrust to him, even though he wasn't in complete control. This is the person who allowed my mother to be killed.

But it wasn't of his own will, I try to imagine how many of the Dauntless feel waking up to see that they have murdered countless innocent people, men, women, and children. The horror they must feel. The boy shakes Tobias's hand, "I'm Zeke, Uriah's older brother."

He turns towards me and glances over me, "how old are you?"

The semi-smile that was on my face drops, the one usable shoulder and arm sits on my hip, "I am 16." I move my chin outwards, showing that despite my small size I am confident.

"A feisty one, aren't you?" He looks at Tobias, "she must be a handful."

Tobias smirks, "only sometimes."

I flash him a glare, "we should move." Tobias pulls me closer to him, allowing me to put the weight of my shoulder on him. Tobias leads us to where Evelyn is ruling her band of Factionless and towards the hallway where we had assembled a cot to sleep on.

"Uriah, Zeke you can sleep on that empty cot over there, I am going to find some supplies to properly dress your wound, Tris." Tobias walks away leaving me with Zeke and Uriah.

They sit on the cot across from me, "so you are 16, for real?" Zeke asks.

"Yes. I am."

"And Tobias is your..." Zeke seems to like to question me.

"Boyfriend."

Zeke nods, "how old is he?"

"18," I say.

"That's quite a gap."

"Because 2 years is really just impossible to overcome." I let the sarcasm of the statement sit in, I cross my one arm over my chest, and keep a steady glare aimed to Zeke.

Uriah nudges Zeke with his elbow, "be careful, she is feisty."

"You're joking." Zeke looks at me, "there is no way she could hurt me."

I smirk, "on the contrary, I can hit a target with a knife better than you." I really hope that Edward's training worked.

Zeke takes his knife out, "try me."

I grasp the knife blade, "I will hit just above your ear, okay?"

Zeke nods, "whoa, how do I know you won't miss and take my eye out, like Edward over there." He jabs his thumb in the direction of Edward.

"You're Dauntless, that is a risk you are going to have to take."

Zeke seems to agree with my logic and sits perfectly still. I stay careful not to move my wounded shoulder and use my other hand to chuck the knife across the hall. It comes mere breaths from his ear, and I break into a grin.

"Why aren't you Dauntless again?"

"I had personal obligations." I say, glancing over to Tobias with his arms full of medical supplies. He drops them next to me, "what did you take everything that they had?"

"Just about, okay let me see your shoulder." Tobias moves my shirt back and begins to clean out the wound, I bite into the piece of fabric that served as a belt to keep from shrieking in pain. He presses the bandages to my shoulder and wraps it tight, "I will change it tomorrow."

I smile, "thank you, Tobias." I fit my mouth to his, but one of the two boys sitting across from us clears their throat. I turn to see Zeke still feigning a cough.

"I didn't know Abnegation were this normal, first with Tris throwing knives, and now the two of you showing affection in front of people."

Tobias looks at me, "you threw knives?"

I point to the knife that is still stuck in the wall behind Zeke's ear. Tobias laughs, "I have to admit, Tris, you are deadly even with only one functioning arm."

Zeke grudgingly nods his head in agreement. "We should get some rest, everyone." I say leaning onto the cot. Uriah and Zeke battle for a few moments over who gets which side and who gets the window and then argue over the covers.

My eyes begin to shift closed when I feel Tobias wrap his arm around me and pull me close to him, my small frame fitting to his like a puzzle piece. I snuggle closer to him, the feeling of his breath against my cheek and my palm against his chest, for a moment allowing me to think I am home, in Abnegation safe with Tobias.

My dreams drift me into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Tris wake up."

I don't open an eye, "Tobias, just one more minute."

"Tris, you need to get up."

I press myself closer to him, "Tobias, one more minute."

"Tris, I need to change the dressings on your wound." The events of the past two days hits me, suddenly all the security I felt a moment ago disappears. I begin to sit up, but wince at the pain from the strain of movement. Tobias carefully helps me sit up and begins to unwrap the dressings over my wound. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept fine, thank you...What are we doing today?"

"The simulation is over, I think we should go clean up Abnegation and try to find the refugees left."

I look at him, "I don't know if I am ready for that." I think about my mother's lifeless body still on the ground, I begin to imagine her dried blood upon the ground and feel tears in my eyes.

Tobias wipes the tears from under my eyes, "Tris, you don't have to come. But we are still Abnegation, and those people still deserve to be properly buried. You should rest anyway." He smiles sadly at me, "I love you, Tris. I don't want you to do this, if you can't handle it."

"I want to bury my mother. I want to say my goodbyes, I want to thank her for saving us. I'm coming. You're right, we chose to be Abnegation, now is when we need to be the most selfless." I hug Tobias tightly and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Good morning, lovebirds," someone sings behind us. I turn to see Uriah rubbing his eyes, "I am so hungry, I could eat an entire cheeseburger the size of Tris."

I have begun to trust Uriah and Zeke, despite my initial uncertainty of the Dauntless. I don't by any means consider the entire faction friendly, the bullet in my shoulder says that much. For one thing, I have to say that Zeke and Uriah happen to lighten my mood very easily, whenever thoughts of my mother tug on my mind they always can make me smile. They also have gained Tobias's trust quite fast, they seem to understand him in many ways I guess only other boys can. I raise my eyebrows at him, "what are you trying to say?"

Uriah smiles, "that a cheeseburger as big as you would fill me."

Zeke turns still wrapped in the thin blanket with his eyes closed, "shut it, Uriah. All you ever want to do is eat and you are never filled," Zeke says.

Tobias stands and pulls me up with him, "we should grab something to eat."

"I think they are passing around canned food." I smile.

"What gave you that idea?" Tobias keeps pressing the edges of my wound's dressings, although I'm sure they are fixed onto my skin fairly well.

"They are passing it around, Tobias." He turns to see cans being passed between Factionless with a hand full of spoons. After a few moments a can of peaches comes to us, Tobias and I stare at it, "have you ever had a peach?" I ask.

"No, you don't mind sharing right?"

I smile, "why would I?"

"What's yours is mine." Tobias grins at me.

"That's only when your married, if I like these then I might eat them all for myself." I stare into the bin and look at the pale orange soggy mounds of fruit.

"Well we might have to fix that won't we, _Beatrice_?"

I glare and plunge my fork into the can and pop the bright orange peach slices into my mouth, they are sweet and syrupy. "They are sweet, I love them. I'm keeping it. It's mine..."

Uriah leans towards us, "this sounds like a custody issue. Tobias, you mentioned needing to fix that Tris might eat those for herself, do you mind expounding?"

"I just meant if you were going to threaten taking my food, then we should clearly discuss whether or not we need to figure who gets custody." Tobias nods, keeping his face serious,

"We would have to be married to have custody of anything." I roll my eyes, I don't understand boys sometimes. Everything is a joke to them. Even though I am pretending to be annoyed, I find their humor is helping me focus on something outside of all the death I see.

"You are wrong, Beatrice. You see we just need to have a child that we share."

"We don't have a child, Tobias." I bite my lip, I hate when he uses my full name and the smile on his face tells me he thinks it's funny to watch me get angry.

"The food is our child, this can of peaches is our child and you want it all to yourself. Well, I don't think that's fair. So we share it or else we go to court."

Zeke interjects, "I couldn't help but over hear your dilemma. Thankfully for you, I will offer my services as a counselor to help you work out your problems. The emotional stress of a custody battle could be damaging to your can of peaches."

I glare at them, "the three of you clearly can't be serious."

The three of them burst into laughter, I roll my eyes and eat almost all the peaches in the can, leaving one peach at the bottom. "You can have the rest Tobias."

He smiles and takes the can from me, "I knew you would give in to my charms. " He looks inside and frowns, "that's just mean Tris."

"You can't do anything about it, now can you, Tobias."

Tobias pulls me into his arms, "you owe me something."

"Oh, I do?"

"You owe me a kiss," Tobias press his lips to mine and I hear a few cat calls and someone clear their throat. I pull away and look up to see Evelyn standing behind us. I suppress a frown, I have no interest in dealing with Evelyn ever again. I have had to deal with Evelyn enough to last me forever. Tobias stares at her, "what did you want?"

"We are going to send out a few scouts to see what the effects of the attack were."

I pipe up, "who is going to bury the dead Abnegation?"

"No one so far." Evelyn looks past me and focuses back on Tobias.

"I will go and bury them then." I say, Evelyn raises her eyebrows at me, "I want to go. Those are my people, and they used to be yours."

"Do whatever you please. I have no interest in stopping you." Once again she focuses on Tobias. "I just thought it would be beneficial for you to be notified of our movements since the ending of the simulation."

Tobias nods and begins to help me stand up, "we are going to go bury the dead. It's the right thing to do, Evelyn." He looks at Zeke and Uriah, "we will be back by late tonight."

Uriah stands up with us, "I'm coming."

"Are you sure, Uriah?" I ask, I can only imagine how hard it will be for him to see the people who he had to watch die, the people who he could have saved. I'm not sure I could handle that kind of trauma.

Uriah nods and Zeke stands up as well, "we both are going. It's the right thing to do, Tris."

Even though I know how hard this is for the two of them, I feel like they are trying to earn my trust. Trying to become my friends by sacrificing for me. I smile at them, my silent thank you for showing how they care about me. I smile, reach out and squeeze Uriah's hand, "thank you."

Uriah nods, "it's the right thing to do."

* * *

><p>I pull Tobias towards Abnegation, Uriah lightening the mood with jokes and stories of his initiation. I allow myself, this moment of laughter and peace because I know the moment we set foot into our home I won't be able to smile. I might not smile every again.I drop Tobias's hand. My jaw is slack, bodies are everywhere, dried blood splattered everywhere. Uriah and Zeke leave to get a shovel to dig a few graves. "Tris, are you going to be okay?"<p>

I nod, "I want to find my mother."

Tobias pulls me to him, I bury my head into his shoulder as we walk around countless bodies. Men and women, eyes wide open, screams still stuck in their opened mouths. We walk towards the alley where my mother was shot. I break into a run when I see her hair and then the rest of her body. I slow as her face comes into view, despite the horrific way she died, here she is peaceful and rested. As if she felt no pain at all, I fall to my knees, and tears spring from my eyes. _I'm so sorry, Mother_. I hold her in my arms, and cry. Tobias is next to me, I can feel him, but he doesn't speak. He allows me the moment to speak to her, to tell her that I'm sorry, to thank her, to tell her how much I love her. It feels like it's been hours, but after I have cried all my tears I decide to find a spot to bury her. She deserves a proper burial. I stand up, to see Zeke and Uriah standing with Tobias, "we can put her on this makeshift wagon, then you pick a spot to bury her, Tris." Tobias looks at me asking if it's alright for them to move her.

I nod, and the three of them carefully pick her up and set her inside, I know where I want to bury her. "I want to bury her near the Ferris wheel."

We walk to the Ferris wheel, quiet and solemn. I point to the area near the carousel and Ferris wheels surrounded by trees. I look for a clearing, it's quiet and beautiful, she would love it here. "Right here," I say.

Zeke and Uriah begin to dig a hole and I try and smooth out her hair, make sure that she looks as beautiful and radiant as she did when she was alive. The boys set her into the hole, "I want to say something."

The boys nod, I look at her body and feel a few more tears stream down my face, "the two of you, Zeke and Uriah, never got to meet my mother. She would have loved you, she was the sweetest, loving, and most patient person I have ever known. She was selfless, beautiful, and brave. She died, saving my life and Tobias's, and I hope she knows how grateful we are." I wipe my eyes, "I love you, so much Mom. I promise that I will never forget you...I'm going to miss you, I'm going to miss you so much. Caleb couldn't be here, but if he was he would want you to know that he loved you very much too. I love you, Dad loves you, Caleb loves you, and all of us will miss you." I look at Zeke and Uriah, then wipe my eyes quickly, "go ahead and bury her. I'm going to go over there." I walk towards the Ferris wheel, I climb up the ladder and slide into one of the cars, as I settle into one, I begin to cry. My mother is dead, I just buried her. Caleb...I don't know where Caleb is, if he knows our mother is dead, or if he knew about the attack from Erudite, his faction. I sob into a ball and let myself release every emotion I have been feeling. I feel sadness, anger, frustration, love, admiration, hope, courage, bravery, all of them morphing into each other. Each one carrying its own burdens on me, I feel Tobias near me. It's amazing how I can just sense him, sense his support and love.

He shakily climbs into the car with me, he pries me from my knees, and tips my chin up, "I'm so proud of you, for being brave."

I nod, "I just feel so much, Tobias. And it's like I can't process it all and so it feels like pain, unending pain."

"It will be okay, Tris. It'll get better."

I cry into his chest, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Tris."

I look up and press my mouth to his, letting all the emotions that have been plaguing me out. I forget everything just for a moment and pretend like everything hasn't happened. I get lost in Tobias and let everything just go.

"As much as I would like to continue this, Tris, we need to get back."

I nod, and press one last to kiss to Tobias's cheek. I climb out the car and down the ladder. Zeke and Uriah are arguing near the foot of the carousel.

"Let's go." I say.

Uriah looks me and Tobias over, "you two look like you got hit by a train."

I smooth my hair out, and feel a blush on my cheeks. "We should continue cleaning things up."

Zeke stares at Tobias, "you Abnegation are full of surprises, let me tell you...So should I assume that-"

I shake my head, "no, Zeke we are not talking about this."

Zeke waves his eyebrows, "if we end up with a little Abnegation baby..."

"That didn't happen, Zeke! Don't bring it up, we kissed alright!" I glare at him and walk ahead.

I hear Zeke and Uriah's laughter, Uriah catches up to me, "I'm sorry Tris. Will you forgive us?"

"I don't know."

Uriah wipes a few fake tears, "please?"

I sigh, "fine. Let's go."

"Whatever you say, Tris."

I roll my eyes, and somehow find my lips have curved up slightly at the ends. Maybe I will smile again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The past two weeks in the Factionless have been rigorous to say the least. Every morning, Edward has Tobias and I awake when the sun is barely rising to train. We received news from the Amity that the surviving members of Abnegation are in Amity, safe and sound. Edward was on the team Evelyn sent out for information, I asked him to tell me if my father was alive. Edward was glad to tell me that he was okay in Amity. I don't know if Edward and I are friends, but I have earned his respect ever since I have become one of his best students. He tries to help me use my height as an advantage and is always willing to teach me something new. He claims that we don't know when another attack could occur and we have to be prepared for it. Sometimes Uriah and Zeke will join Tobias and I when we train, but often they end up laughing with Tobias and ruining all of my hard work.

I sit in between Uriah and Tobias, "is it carrots today?"

Uriah glances inside, "nope, it's peaches." He shuts the can's lid and puts the spoon into his mouth.

"Hand 'em over." I reach past the Uriah and try to take the can from his hand. "Uriah, please. Please! I need the can, I need it!"

"Wow, you really want these, huh?" Uriah tosses the can to Tobias. Tobias stands up and laughs at me. The boys pass the can back and forth, sending peach juice all over the floor. I run between the two of them, my height being my main disadvantage. "Tris, I have the peaches...Oh wait no now Tobias has them."

I scowl, "Tobias please hand me the can of peaches."

"I don't know you ate the last can I go, maybe I should get these and you can have one of the other cans being passed around." Tobias stares at the can then stares at me, he keeps flicking his gaze back and forth between the can and me.

"Tobias?" I give him a small frown and blink a few times at him. "Can I have the peaches?"

Tobias smiles at me, "pay up." I stand on my tiptoes and press one quick kiss on Tobias lips as I pull the can from his grasp. I draw myself into the corner and pop open the can of peaches. I tip the can back and let the warm syrupy fruit slide to my throat. I cannot believe the Abnegation refused to let us eat these different types of fruits, I can see nothing selfish about them. They are fruits. Tobias sits down next to me and takes a large spoonful of carrots, "your peaches were good?"

"Delicious, but they would have been better if you had let me eat them when they were cold."

Tobias shrugs, "I'm sorry Tris, but I like to see you smile. You don't do it very often anymore." Tobias puts his arm around me, drawing me close to his chest, "Maybe we could go for a walk, just you and me?"

I nod my head, "yes, that sounds okay." I close my eyes and let myself relax in Tobias grasp. Hurried footsteps force my eyes open, I struggle not groan. _Evelyn. _Evelyn crosses her arms and stares at the corner Zeke and I have dubbed 'Loser's Corner' because we are the outcasts of the Factionless. I laughed when he first suggested it, since the Factionless are the outcasts of society, which must make us extremely odd to be banished from the other group who got kicked out.

Evelyn scans through us, "I have news for all of you. We can discuss it on the way downstairs, I have to show you something." We follow Evelyn through the hall and down a flight of stairs, "by the time I sent out a few people, the last of the loyal Dauntless were headed to Candor. A few of them chose to come with us, when they found out that Zeke and Uriah were here." We walk down the steps and turn to see a group of Dauntless. standing in a circle. One of the girls, tall, blonde and pretty turns to us, "Uriah!" She crashes into Uriah's arms talking very fast about waking up from the simulation.

I can't help but feel some resentment for these people, they don't seem to regret their actions on Abnegation. Uriah and Zeke were different we have been with them for a few weeks now, they have proven to be trustworthy and have earned my respect and friendship. These people have not. Could one of them be the soldier who killed my mother? I force those thoughts out my mind, since I would rather not know if one of them is responsible. At this moment, ignorance is bliss, and I intend to keep it that way. These might be the only allies we will have if things escalate. Tobias and I stand away from everyone, being Abnegation we blend into the background. We are experts at not being seen or heard, walked past, unnoticed.

Uriah turns to us, "Tris, Tobias meet my friends." He points to the blonde who is wrapped in his arm, "this Marlene and that is Shauna."

Shauna is talking to Zeke, and the other two Dauntless stand talking to each other. One of the girls walks to us, her bright brown eyes searching me, she is quite pretty. "I'm Christina."

"I'm Tris and this is Tobias." I watch the blonde boy with blue eyes approach us as well, intertwining his fingers with Christina's. A sigh almost leaves my lips, was I worried about Christina capturing Tobias's attention.

The boy offers his hand to Tobias, "I'm Will."

I watch the two of them shake hands, I look at Christina unsure of what to say. Christina speaks first, "how old are you?"

"16." The tone of her voice, reminds me of the loud mouthed Candor I saw many times in school.

She nods, "So am I. What faction are you from?" She looks at my mainly black clothing, grey belt, and my hair in a sloppy bun at the nape of my neck. I look around and realize that all of us are covered in grime and sweat, we all must smell terrible, but since the Factionless homes don't ever smell very good we don't notice. I assume we have gotten used to the pungent smell of old dirty clothes, rotten food, and trash. Dirty sweaty bodies on top of that must not have much of an effect on us.

"I'm from Abnegation." I look over to see Tobias and Will watching the two of us converse.

Christina's lips form a straight line and she takes a breath, "oh. Are you from Abnegation, too?"

Tobias nods but doesn't speak. He has never been one to talk very often in front of new people, with the exception of Zeke and Uriah. Christina looks back to me, realizing that I am the one who does most of the speaking out of the two of us. "So you're 16. Did you just turn 16?"

Does she honestly think that I would be choosing soon? I know I'm small, but...I rest my hand on my waist, "I will be 17 in a couple months. If you are wondering, I already had my choosing ceremony, same as you." I let some of the confidence and sass that I usually hide when speaking to anyone besides Tobias or our new friends, Uriah and Zeke.

"You're not very withdrawn like most, stiffs."

I hate that word, stiff. I take a small breath, "don't call me stiff. My name is Tris, not stiff. Got it?"

She smirks at me, "I like you."

I blink back at her, I show some anger towards her, and she decides that she likes me. The Dauntless are odd indeed. Would I act like this if I had switched? I hope she understand that stiff is not a name will tolerate. I never have and now I have the ability to speak up for myself and say so.

"So, Tris? That's a name I haven't heard."

"It's short for my full name."

"Which is?"

"Beatrice."

Christina nods her head, "boring name."

"Abnegation name."

Christina looks around, "would you like to walk, Tris?"

"Why?" I keep my distrust for her apparent. Christina doesn't seem swayed by any means.

Christina shrugs, "maybe I have questions I want answer to? Look we will walk just around these buildings, okay?"

I look at Tobias who is in the middle of an intense conversation with Will, Zeke, and Uriah. "Why not," she walks along the scattered trash that lines the street we are on, glass crackling under her feet. She is tall, much taller than me, and quite pretty, prettier than me.

"So you and Tobias are together? How long?"

"Since my Initiation, right after the Choosing Ceremony. What about you and Will?"

Christina gets a large grin across her face, "towards the end of Initiation. It just happened you know, one day we started looking at each other a little differently, and talking a little more openly, and suddenly we were together. What about you?"

"Honestly, we grew up in the same circles." I choose to leave out the relationship between Tobias and Marcus, that is his personal information. "After a while, we became like best friends and slowly our relationship grew."

"Very Abnegation, I'm guessing?"

I shrug, "it was going to work out that way, if none of this had happened."

"How so?" Christina seems genuinely interested in the possible life I could have had in Abnegation.

Well, we would have courted for a few years and Tobias would have asked my hand in marriage. After that, we would set a day, even though we don't plan a wedding or anything. It would be selfish to have a day focused on ourselves. Then we would go to the council and repeat a few vows and sign a few papers. Then we get two days off to adjust to life as newly weds."

"Two days? You don't get a ceremony, reception, or honeymoon?"

I shake my head, "the two days are a generous allowance. Abnegation would prefer that we settle into our new lives so we can function efficiently in our new capacities."

Christina looks at me with wonder, "so then what?"

"Well, we would continue life as normal, I guess.." I feel a blush paint onto my cheeks, "we might have had children."

Christina laughs, "your Abnegation is showing, Beatrice."

I frown and cross my arms, "shut up."

Christina walks on and turns the corner to another row of broken glassed walls and abandoned buildings, "I'm sure that your life in Abnegation would have have been a ton of fun."

"Thanks for the sarcasm, you think we don't know how boring our lives were and would be? We did."

"Why didn't you switch?"

I shrug, "things were complicated." While so far I like Christina she doesn't need to know my secret, especially now that Erudite might be willing to do anything to get Divergents in their custody since we are out of their control. I put my hands into my pockets, "what was it like Dauntless?"

"Better than Candor. It kept you aware, on your toes, exciting. More fun than anything you could imagine. I loved it, sorry I love it."

"It sounds amazing," I stop and sit on the curb and play with a piece of glass between my fingers.

Christina sits next to me, "a brown palate would be perfect for your eye color."

I look up at her, "what?"

"Sorry, I have a thing for makeup."

"Makeup?" I struggle to imagine what makeup might look like, "how does it look?"

Christina gapes at me, "you mean you haven't ever worn make-up?"

I shake my head, "Abnegation, remember? It would be calling attention to ourselves, when we are supposed to forget ourselves."

"That sounds awful, so I'm assuming you don't have mirrors then?"

"No, I mean each of us have one in the house, but they don't use it. Well Tobias and I used ours even though it wasn't allowed." Talking so much about home brings that pain back to me and my smile fades. "This was nice, but I need to head back, Tobias doesn't like when I just disappear with all that's happened."

I stand up and Christina stands with me, "look, I know you don't trust me. I don't expect you to, I just want you to know that if you need to talk or you just need a friend I'm here. I like you, Tris. You seem like someone I could get a long with. Maybe if you were in my faction, we could have been friends."

I feel like waving her off, telling her she is wasting her time, because I can't trust her. I don't know how many Dauntless I can trust right now. Zeke and Uriah were a rare exception in my mind. I force myself to remain positive, "thank you, Christina I will remember that."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

A sudden feeling of cold wraps around me, I pull the covers closer hoping to regain some warmth. I open my eyes and see Uriah and Zeke asleep across from me in this small hallway, I turn and realize Tobias is gone. I sit up and look around. I debate going to find him, but decide against it. Tobias is an adult and I trust him. It's amazing how the comfort of knowing someone is asleep next to a person can put them to sleep. I think it's the sound of Tobias breathing beside me, the slight movement with each breath, that lulls me to sleep. I stare at the ceiling above me, considering what we will do now. I catch a few tears on my cheek and let them dry there. I am tired of wiping away the tears I have from the sadness that consumes me.

What will we do next? I feel like we should go after Erudite, like we need to find whoever was responsible for this and make them pay for it. I hear footsteps, rushed, agile, Tobias. I shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep, he climbs in next to me and judging by the way he is breathing he is angry.

He turns to me and I keep myself still, eyes shut tight, "Tris, you know that I love you, right?"

I turn to face him, "you knew I wasn't asleep?"

"I always know when you're asleep. You look happier, there isn't any sadness on your face. What is it that makes you so happy when you sleep?" I can tell he is trying not to think about whatever just happened. Some of the anger he feels is hidden behind his voice.

I wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself closer to him, "I dream."

"What about?"

I kiss his nose, "you, of course...Tobias, are you okay?"

His small smile fades away, "I'm fine."

"Tobias, you don't have to tell me about it, but is there any way for me to help?"

"Be yourself and trust me."

I rest my head against his shoulder, "I would expect to do nothing less." Zeke lets out a loud snore and I frown. I can always count on Zeke and Uriah to be loud even when they are asleep. Tobias closes his eyes and draws me closer to him. "Should we go to Amity?" I ask. My father must be in Amity, I need to get to him. Now that things have begun to settle down, it will be safe to get to Amity.

"For your father?"

I nod my head, "and Susan. And what about your father?" Tobias and Marcus never seemed close, but I wouldn't want to just forget about his father.

Tobias sits up and drops his head into his hands, "Tris, come with me. There is something I have to tell you." Tobias takes my hand and pulls me out into the hall. We head up the stairs leading to the roof, Tobias lets go of my hand and begins pacing. "Tris, don't get angry."

"About?" I play with my fingers, tug at the end of my black t-shirt. Tobias doesn't look me in the eyes, but he has stopped pacing and is seated next to me. I wait for him to tell me whatever he has to say, I can't help but feel like what he will say might change everything once again. "Tobias, what is it?"

"Marcus...He isn't what you think he is." Tobias stands up, turns his back to me, and in one swift movement tosses his shirt onto the ground. I would blush if not for the red angry marks stripped across his back. They aren't patterned, rather they are random, deep, the scarring left over making his back a patchwork of skin. I take in a sharp breath and reach my fingertips out, lightly pressing them to his back.

"Tobias..." I set my hand on his shoulder and walk to the front of Tobias. My eyes lock onto his, "when did this start?"

Tobias shrugs, "don't know." He pulls his shirt from the floor and holds it in his hands, "I wish I could have told you sooner."

"Why didn't you?" I keep my voice soft even though I'm hurt that he kept this a secret from me, "I would have understood."

Tobias stares at the tips of his shoes, "I didn't want you to look at me like I was a kicked puppy or something."

"Well, you're not." I take his hand and grasp it, "what Marcus did to you was wrong, but it doesn't change how I see you. You are strong, you are brave, you are courageous, and you are everything I could ever want. And to think Evelyn just left you..." A small bit of anger seeps through my voice, "I wish you would have told me, Tobias."

Tobias pulls his shirt on and scowls, "I know. Tris. I shouldn't have hid it from you, but being mad about it won't change anything."

"Are there any other secrets I should know about?" I ask. "I'm not angry that you didn't tell me, I'm angry that it took you this long to tell me, that you hid it from me. I trusted that you would tell me things like this, Tobias."

Tobias clenches his fist, "at least I know you don't treat me with pity, because you're pissed."

I cross my arms, "I am not."

Tobias chuckles, "yeah you are. I can see it in your eyes. It's oddly comforting. If you were telling me how sorry you are I would be hurt. But seeing you this angry makes me feel better." Tobias pulls my chin to him and presses his lips to mine. Why does he do things like this when he knows I'm angry with him. When Tobias pulls I away from me I frown.

"I'm going to bed." I stand up and walk towards the roofs hatch leading me downstairs, "I'm still mad at you, Tobias." I walk down the steps and hear Tobias footsteps following behind me. As I move through the hallway and fall into the cot I struggle not to smile. Tobias always seems to do that to me after every kiss. Tobias slides in next to me and nuzzles my neck,

"Tobias, you aren't making me any less angry."

I can feel him smile against my neck, "you're cute when you're angry."

"Shut up," I roll my eyes, "we have a lot to discuss tomorrow." Distantly Tobias responds to what I say as I close my eyes and fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>Tobias shakes me awake, "it's time to go Tris."<p>

I sit up and look to find the Dauntless staying here packing their things, "why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"I figured you needed some sleep, Tris."

I stand and pack the few belongings I have, my Abnegation clothes and some cans of food that were supposed to be the meals for Tobias and I for the next week. "Tobias, where are are going exactly?"

"You said you wanted to go to Amity, so we are going to go. You're right, we need to at least check on the rest of Abnegation, let them know that the dead have been buried. Find your father and Susan. When I told Uriah and Zeke they insisted that they accompany us. Just to make sure we get there safely and to see if any other Dauntless are refugees in Amity. The other Dauntless are going to stay here while we are gone, just to keep up on things closer to Erudite."

"What about Evelyn?"

Tobias's features cloud, "I think it would be better for everyone if we operated with some distance for a few days."

"Okay," I fold the last of our things and put them in a bag. I look at Tobias and take his hand in mine. Christina smiles at me and holds up a can of peaches. I head towards Christina as Evelyn steps into our hall, "Tobias can we speak."

"For a few moments."

They step aside into a room nearby, so far I hear nothing. Christina walks towards me and shuts up when she realizes I am eavesdropping. Slowly voices rise, I move closer to the door separating me from them.

Evelyn: "Are you leaving for her?"

Tobias: "Don't talk about Tris."

Evelyn: "Well answer me, Tobias!"

Tobias: "I'm leaving for us."

Evelyn: "You don't think she won't leave you at some point? You deserve better than _that_ Tobias!"

Tobias stays silent then speaks up, "don't you ever say that again. Evelyn, I don't deserve Tris... I'm leaving and you won't stop me. I won't be gone for long, but Tris needs to find her family and make sure that they are safe and should they need to come with us, we can escort them here safely. I need to check on what's left of my faction, Evelyn. You of all people can understand that." the locks of the door click and I jump back from the doorway with Christina in tow. She hands me the can of peaches in her hand to me.

"Are you excited to go to Amity to see your father?" She asks.

The door opens and Tobias smiles at Christina and I, "yeah, I'm excited, Christina. Thank you, for being nice to me. I'm sure the other girls here don't like me much. Why?"

"I like you and Will thinks I should try to make more of an effort to befriend you...considering everything."

"I appreciate that, Christina. This conversation will have to wait, I must get ready to leave for Amity." Christina gives me a hug before wishing me luck, I wouldn't dare to call her a true friend like I would Uriah or Zeke. But I consider her a new friend, she has shown regret for what happened to Abnegation and her part in it. She has also proven to keep an honest commentary on anything she says. I respect that. Perhaps, if things get better, Christina and I could become best friends. The four of us fit knives to our waist belts and in the daylight make it to the trains without any hassle. Tobias and I got into the trains without much effort, an achievement that made me feel a new kind of pride in myself. It sent my shoulder into a blaze of fire, but it seemed worth it for the exhilarating rush of being Dauntless just for a moment. The fields blur past me along with the sectors of the city. Zeke and Tobias fall asleep as soon as the train lurched forward. Uriah and I sit with our feet dangling outside the train car. My hair blows on my face and I turn to Uriah, "Uriah, have you ever been to Amity?"

Uriah tips his head back and laughs,his dark curls blowing in the wind, "no. I am a Divergent with an aptitude for Dauntless and Candor not Amity. Is it even possible to have an aptitude for Amity and Dauntless? You know what don't answer that."

"Candor? Really?" I laugh, "I don't believe that."

Uriah shrugs, "believe it, Tris. I seem like an honest person right?'

"You do, but I never would have guessed Candor." I think about my own test, perhaps people would be shocked to know that I was Dauntless and Erudite, since I look so small and well...Abnegation. Does it matter if I share my results with Uriah? He is Divergent, I think to what Tobias warned me when I first met, _don't trust anyone who doesn't have as much at stake as you. _Uriah has as much at stake as me, both of us can be killed for our Divergence. Besides, I trust Uriah. He saved the rest of my faction, he helped me bury my mother, he has protected me. I can trust him. "So Candor and Dauntless...Are any of your other friends Divergent?"

Uriah shakes his head, "no, none of them are. I wish they were so I wouldn't feel so alone. I don't think things will ever return to normal for any of us, but I would be comforted by the idea that at least my friends are normal like me too."

"You aren't alone, Uriah." He cocks an eyebrow at me, I smile, "I'm Divergent."

"No you're not. What were your aptitudes?"

I grin, "Erudite, Abnegation and...Dauntless."

Uriah's jaw opens and he stares at me for a long time, "I can see it, now. The skinny stature, Abnegation, the witty remarks, Erudite, the knives and guns thing, Dauntless. Maybe you are Amity too, you seem peaceful."

I laugh and shake my head, "no I am not Amity. I hear it's beautiful though."

"So do I, maybe it would be enjoyable under different circumstances." Uriah stretches and leans his head against the train's floor, "wake me up when we get to Amity, okay?"

"Sure."

"Hey Tris?"

I look down at Uriah, "mhm?"

"Thanks for not making me be alone."

"That's what friends are for, right Uriah?"

Uriah smiles and pokes me, "yeah that's what friends are for."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

When we approach Amity I nudge Tobias and Zeke awake, and try to mentally prepare myself for the raging pain I will feel when I jump off the train. By the looks of the sky, rain will be pouring onto us in a few minutes. Uriah hands me another knife as I stand at the edge of the train, the tips of my shoes hanging off the edge. Will my father be happy to see me? Maybe he will be disappointed in the things I have done since I joined the Factionless. Tobias stands next to me and intertwines his fingers with mine, warm air fills my nostrils with a scent of flowers and wheat. "Ready to jump, Tris?"

I open my eyes and take one last look at the fields before turning to Tobias, "yeah." After counting to three before jumping and fall to my knees in the wheat stalks. My hand grips my shoulder, grit my teeth, my fingers trying to check the bandage. The pain is climbing and tears blur my eyes, I feel the edge of the bandage and find hot sticky fluid on my fingertips. I pull my hand back to find my fingertips covered in deep red blood. Tobias takes my hand and pulls the back of my t-shirt up and I can hear his frown in his voice, "needs stitches Tris. The bandage over the wound isn't cutting it." Tobias wraps his arm around my waist and helps me up, the four of us walk to the gates of Amity to find no one guarding this sector. _Of course no Dauntless guards were posted here, they were busy having their minds controlled and killing my faction. _I shake the thought from my mind and focus on managing the biting pain in my flesh. My shoulder radiates with agony, throbbing, sending a constant drip of warm red honey down my back. By the time we make it to Amity's Headquarters the back of my shirt is soaked with my dried blood.

A woman approaches us, her dark hair tied in a ponytail at the back of her head and one eye with a straight scar across it. She approaches us with a broad smile painted on her lips, "hello." She steps forward with her arms open, but stops short upon seeing us on closer examination. "Perhaps a handshake would be better suited." She shakes hands with Zeke and Uriah, but when she turns to Tobias and I, she hesitates. Our mismatched clothing, makes us appear Factionless, Tobias is the first to act. He bows his head to the woman and I force myself to follow suit despite how much it hurts to move at all. "You are Abnegation?"

"Yes, we are." Tobias says, he glances at me and can see the discomfort on my face, "excuse my lack of introductions, but I need medical attention to be given to her." Tobias motions to me. The woman's eyes widen and she immediately calls for someone from Abnegation to help me. I have to hand it to the Amity they know how to make a person feel welcome. She keeps a pleasant smile and a sweet disposition, while normally this might irritate me, today the kindness and endless smiles are welcome.

"I'm Johanna Reyes, representative for Amity. Please allow us to care for you before we discuss the matters that have brought you here. I'm sure you are hungry and in need of a warm shower, hm?" Two Amity in a nearly blinding yellow run to us with a small bag. One begin to take out wipes, gauze, needles, and sewing string. The other leads Uriah and Zeke to a room. Johanna smiles and looks at the sky, "let's take care of this inside, shall we?" She helps me inside the building even though Tobias arm never leaves my side. Johanna sits me down at a chair and Tobias lifts my shirt and allows the two Amity, who I assume are nurses, look at my shoulder. One of them warns me to brace myself and I feel two fingers slip into the whole in my shoulder. The fingers grope around my flesh and I bite into my shirt and squeeze Tobias hand, I feel a tug and I scream until the fingers leave my shoulder and I hear a small cling. I turn my head to find a bullet in a tin plate. Johanna gives me a sympathetic nod, "the worst has passed. Stitches should be a breeze." I'm not sure of that, but I can't even formulate words to say anything. The pain I felt when I was shot is not even close to the feeling I have now. Heavy tears mark my cheeks and Tobias continues to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. A deep burning sensation consumes my wound and I feel droplets of cold solution down my spine. I let my head collapse into Tobias shoulder, if I focus on him the pain might disappear. For a moment the burning stops, but a sharp stabbing pain makes me lean further into Tobias, "they're sewing you up. After this, you can go to sleep, alright?"

I nod and clench my fists, after a few minutes it's all over. My shoulder is throbbing, but at least now I know that my shoulder won't get infected or something. Tobias stands and picks me up into his arms, careful not to touch my shoulder. Johanna smooths my hair, it reminds me of something my mother would have done. It's a small gesture that I am more grateful for than I'm sure she could imagine. "Let's show you to a room, shall we?" Johanna waves off the woman who helped me, I struggle to find the words to say thank you and settle for a small nod. My eyelids droop and I fight to stay awake. I need to find my father and Susan, I have to stay awake for them. Tobias follows Johanna and after a few turns, my head feels as light as a feather and I opt to close my eyes. Suddenly I'm being slipped onto a soft cushion, I force my eyes open to find that I'm in a bed. Johanna bows to Tobias and I, "there is some pain medication that she can have, two drops every few hours, it will numb the pain for her...Excuse my manners, I don't even know your names."

Tobias nods, "I'm Tobias and this Beatrice." He jabs his thumb over his shoulder to me.

I clear my throat, "just Tris." Johanna nods in my direction and leaves without a single thing except a smile. The door clicks shut and Tobias turns to me, he helps me sit up and looks over my shoulder. "I want to shower."

"Will you need help?" Tobias blushes, "I just mean that I can ask one of the nurses."

"No just help me to the bathroom, I can manage." Tobias nods and helps me to the bathroom door. He opens it and turns on the shower advising me to call for help if I need it. I need to get the blood off of me, to wipe away any memories of the pain consuming my body or my mind. The door shuts softly and I somehow, without ripping my stitches or causing myself unbearable pain, get into the shower. The warm water washes away much of the pain I feel, not to mention how starved I was to be clean and smell good. by the time I get out, I feel much better both physically and emotionally. Tobias left me a blinding yellow and red night set picked out by someone who had some sense of sizing. And probably a girl given the accuracy of my undergarments. That is painfully obvious judging by the small shirt and thin pants, these might fight me nearly perfect. I struggle to pull on the shirt without screaming and I nearly writhe in pain trying to pull on my pants. I open the door and Tobias smiles at me.

"I got your medicine," he unscrews a bottle, "open your mouth, you get two drops as needed for the next two days, we just can't give you more than 12 in a day. After that its two drops every few hours." He drops the medicine into my mouth and carries me to the bed. He slips me under the covers and kisses me lightly, "I'm going to take my shower, try and get some rest. Okay?"

"I should try to find my father and Susan." I say.

Tobias shakes his head at me, "Tris, we can worry about that tomorrow. They are probably just as tired as you are. For right now, you and I, but you especially, should get some sleep. Tomorrow morning we will find your father and Susan. I love you."

"I love you too." Tobias walks into the bathroom and my eyelids are so heavy that I can't even try to keep them open. I shut my eyes and fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>The bed shifts beside me and I hardly open my eyes to see Tobias asleep beside me. I glance around the room and see how dark it is. It must only be the middle of the night. I pull myself up using my good arm, my bandaged shoulder is painful at even the slightest exertion. I craft a sling for myself using a jacket on the nightstand next to the bed. I kiss Tobias forehead before walking to the door. I need to find my father. I open the door and shut it behind me as quietly as I can manage. The halls here are twisted and turn abruptly without any reasoning it seems, I follow this never ending maze until I come to a large room filled with sleeping Abnegation. Just like us to sleep on the floor in a large room, while probably giving the extra rooms Amity has to the sick, wounded, or elderly. I feel ashamed in myself for accepting a room before asking if someone else needed it. Then again, I am the one who had a bullet dug out of their shoulder. I walk past lines of Abnegation, some awake staring at the ceiling, other tossing and turning through their dreams. I search for my father's face illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the open windows covering the walls. I come past people I have known for years but never spoken to outside of a simple bow or nod, I begin to lose hope until I come across my father. He isn't really asleep, but he isn't awake, it's like he is stuck in a state between the two. I walk to him and crouch to him, after shaking his shoulder his eyes eyes flash open, "Beatrice?"<p>

"Father?" I ask.

My father smiles and takes my face in his hands before pulling me into his embrace, tears spill over our cheeks, for me pain from my shoulder mixed with the happiness of finding my father. He looks at me carefully, "are you alright?"

"Okay, I guess." I bite my lip, "Father, I need to tell you...Mom, she-" my father shakes his head and gives me a sad smile.

"I know about your mother, I heard through some other Abnegation who escaped that they saw her body." My father's eyes become glassy and he smiles at me, "but at least I have you. Beatrice, I was so worried I might not have you. No one had seen or heard from you or Tobias, and I was scared you had been lost along with your mother."

I shake my head, "quite opposite really. She saved us, Father. She was selfless to the end, Tobias and I found refuge in the Factionless. It wasn't until yesterday that we decided to go to Amity, in the meantime we buried our dead."

My father lets out a sigh of relief, "thank you. It will make all of us sleep better at night knowing that those we love are buried and we can still pay our respects at another time." My father looks me over and finally notices my make-shift sling, "where you wounded?"

"I was shot in the shoulder, but the Amity cleaned my wound and stitched it."

My father's eyes widen, "shot?"

"When we were stopping the simulation." I shake my head, "I have changed Father. I have done many things in this short time you may not be proud of."

MY father laughs and brushes my hair back like he did when I was a small girl, "Beatrice, I have always been proud of you."

Hearing those words warms my heart and gives me a new sense of pride in myself and my decisions. My father begins to ask me about my time with the Factionless and about how Tobias is faring. By the time the sun has begun to peak over the farms of Amity, my father and I have cried, mourned the loss of my mother, worried over Caleb, cried for the fallen Abnegation, laughed over many of my new experiences, and when I walk back to my room I feel like a piece of my happiness was given back to me. While I know it will take me a long time to be fully, completely happy I know that it is indeed possible. And that is more than I could ever hope for.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

A soft tapping against my door forces me to open my eyes. Light stretches into the room, I begin to sit up and nearly bite my tongue off when the pain from my shoulder rips through me. Tobias groans as the tapping on the door turns into a loud knock, "can you get it, Tobias?" I grip my shoulder and search for the medicine that will make the pain in my shoulder dissipate. Tobias gets out of bed and reaches for the door, as my fingers wrap around a plastic bottle. _Please be my medicine. _Somehow I twist open the cap and press the drops into my mouth. Uriah stares at me and blinks a few times before turning to Tobias.

"Johanna Reyes wants to speak with us in two hours or so. I'm to show you to breakfast, too." Uriah smiles and glances out the window, "it's really peaceful here. It's a nice change of pace. Hurry up and get ready for breakfast, they have pancakes _with _syrup!"

I raise my eyes at Uriah, "what are these, _pancakes? _And is _syrup _like honey?" I pull myself out of bed and look through the drawers for a pair of jeans or something. A wide mouthed leaf colored vase shakes as I rummage through the drawers. My eyes travel around the room. The furniture here in Amity looks like the trees outside our window, deep browns melting into soft honey colored swirls. I lift my eyes to Uriah who has seated himself on our bed, Tobias is leaned against the wall staring at Uriah.

"You have never had pancakes? Either one of you?"

Tobias laughs and shakes his head at Uriah, "no, we have never had pancakes." Tobias scratches behind his ear and stares at me for a moment before focusing back on Uriah.

Uriah lets out a high pitch whimper and falls backwards, "you Abnegation are insane! No pancakes no syrup! What kind of life is this? I mean what does life even mean without pancakes? What is the meaning of life?"

"At the moment, the meaning of life is getting you out of my room." I say, Tobias laughs and I walk to the bathroom listening to him and Uriah argue. After my shower, I check my stitches and apply a new bandage to my shoulder. Hopefully, I will be able to shoot again once I've healed. I look at the mirror in the bathroom, my face has thinned. Eating only twice a day in the Factionless took its toll. My cheekbones stick out a bit, I press the pads of my fingers to my cheeks and follow the sharp curvature of my face. I change into my clothes and stare at myself. In Abnegation the mirror only allowed me to see my face, but now I can see my whole body in these full length mirrors. The red shirt clings to my body, I'm almost afraid to go out into public in this, especially since the other Abnegation will be here. Although my face is slimmer than before, I have put on some muscle too. My legs arms and abdomen are thicker, firmer, not just skin and bones anymore. I actually have the beginnings of real curves. I open the door to find Zeke and Tobias trying to pull Uriah's head out of the vase that was on the dresser across from the bed. "What is going on here?"Tobias and Zeke turn to look at me as a mumbled "hi Tris!" comes from inside the vase. How did he even get his head in there?

Tobias rubs his chin, "well it's a funny story Tris. It all started when Uriah said that the Abnegation are boring, restricted people with stupid rules. So I said that he was small minded."

"After Tobias said that Uriah was small minded," Zeke chimes in and pats Uriah on the back, "I said, so small minded that he could fit his head in that vase. So Uriah said, is that a challenge? And here we are."

I set my palm to my forehead, "you are idiots. Just complete idiots...Just, give me a sec to find some lotion." I search the room while Uriah keeps pulling on the vase with Tobias and Zeke's help. _How are boys so stupid? _I toss Zeke the bottle of lotion and walk to the door, "I'm going to breakfast. You can worry about getting Uriah out since the three of you were stupid enough to do this." I shut the door behind me and walk down the halls, the sweet smell of peaches hits my nose and suddenly I'm nearly running through the halls. When I come upon the Abnegation, my smile fades. Our people are ravaged from this war, last night while they were asleep I couldn't see how bad off they were. In the light I can see the damage done, some have bandages wrapped around their heads, one is missing a limb, and one man has an eye covered with bandages. The rest are scraped and bruised, but at least whole. I really have no right to complain about my shoulder, when these Abnegation have lost something that they can't get back. My feet carry me past the rows of Abnegation, sitting and smiling together. At least we maintained our selfless and calm attitude. I find my father sitting with Susan. My father looks up at me, "Beatrice, Susan and I were just speaking about you."

"It's Tris now, Father." I sit down next to them and pull Susan into my embrace. "Susan, I'm so glad to see you. I was so worried that you weren't safe. How are you?"

Susan nods, "I'm doing okay." Susan looks at me, "how are you? You seem different."

"I am different, Susan. I'm doing okay, just as you are. Allow me to get you and my father breakfast, you two have been through so much." I stand up before either one of them can stop me and wait in line behind the other Abnegation for a plate of these 'pancakes'. Loud laughter gets every head in Abnegation turning. My eyes fall upon Zeke, Uriah, and Tobias in bright yellow t-shirts and deep red jeans. I break into a grin, Tobias laughter subsides though as he looks across the room. Tobias and I no longer fit into Abnegation like we did once before, that's obvious by the way we are acting her in Amity. We are caught between worlds, being Abnegation and Dauntless. _Who am I kidding, we are Divergent. _Tobias' eyes catch onto mine and he speed walks to me along with Zeke and Uriah. "Those colors suit you." I laugh and move ahead in line.

"Real funny, Tris." Zeke rolls his eyes and grabs a plate.

The Amity looks at the three plates in my hands and I frown, "sorry one is for my father and friend. Is that okay?" The Amity woman smiles and makes some comment I can't decipher before filling my plates with an circular brown flat piece of bread. I move up the line and a line of fruits sit before me, "what do I do with the fruit?"

Uriah nudges me, "you put the fruit on top of your pancake, then you pour on the syrup and eat it. Make sense?" I nod and look at Uriah, my laughter nearly makes me drop the three plates I have carefully been balancing on my arm and hands. A bright pink circle covers the edges of Uriah's face. Uriah raises his eyes at me, "what so funny?"

"Uh, nothing. Just the whole pancake thing." I lie much to easily. I decide to not put any fruit on Susan and my father's plates, they would opt to have their food as plain as they can get it. I get a large spoonful of peaches and drop it on the top of my pancakes and douse each plate in syrup. Carefully I walk back to Susan and my father, handing them the two plates of plain pancakes and syrup. "Where are the drinks?"

"The Amity pass out orange juice once everyone has their food." My father says, he glances at my plate, "I didn't know you enjoyed peaches."

"She loves them." The three of us swivel our heads to see Tobias sitting down next to me. Zeke and Uriah look around unsure of whether or not they should sit with us or eat elsewhere. I wave them over and I can see the hesitation in their eyes. Susan stares at them for a moment and looks away. I wonder how hard this is for Susan to see the Dauntless? Even though they are dressed in Amity's colors their physique and personality speaks for their faction. Does my new physique and personality speak for me, is my being Divergent as easy to see as the faction that Uriah and Zeke come from? My father pats Tobias' back, "Tris loves peaches, Andrew. She eats them every morning if she can get her hands on them."

My father stares at Tobias, "thank you for taking care of her." He looks at Zeke and Uriah, "I haven't met your acquaintance. I am Andrew Prior, Beatrice's father."

"Father, like I said please call me Tris. This is, Zeke and Uriah. They helped Tobias and I stop the simulation."

"Abnegation is indebted to you for your help," Susan nods to them. Her small act of gratitude I can tell makes Zeke and Uriah feel better about what happened. Susan smiles at Tobias, "your father is next to the entrance Tobias. I thought you would like to know he is alive and well."

Tobias sits a little taller and I can see how stressed his body becomes at the mere mention of Marcus. I set my plate down and squeeze his hand. I sit on my heels and move my lips to Tobias' ear, "it's okay. I promise." I turn to my plate and cut into this pancake. I shovel the piece into my mouth, "oh that's delicious! Tobias, here." My fork digs in and grabs another piece, I lift it to Tobias' mouth, "Tobias try it, it's amazing. Trust me."

Tobias hesitates before taking a bite, "it's okay." He looks at my face and laughs, "it was good, just not for me." My father's eyes track each of our movements, watching Tobias and I carefully. Suddenly aware of his eyes and Susan's I finish breakfast in silence.

* * *

><p>My father, Susan, Tobias, and I walk along the trees of Amity. The trees are almost crawling along the farms landscape. I look around in awe, apples hang over my head,the bright fruit just a stretch away. If I had known Amity was so beautiful, I would have tried to find a way to volunteer here in Amity. I wouldn't enjoy it if I transferred here though. I cannot smile like that all the time. As a matter of fact, I usually wear a half-scowl. Abnegation does that to a person, your face starts to contort into a steady and firm straight face. Somehow mine developed into a half-scowl. Tobias runs his knuckles over my thumb and down my palm, "it's amazing here, Tobias. It is just breathtaking. And everyone is so nice." Tobias pulls me ahead of my father and Susan.<p>

He lowers his voice, "it's creepy, actually." Tobias laughs and pulls me a bit closer to his waist.

"Okay, well excuse me for trying to be..._kind_ toward Amity."

Tobias looks at me, "what did they do to you?"

I laugh, "nothing, it's just so nice to be free of the grey, even if it was for a little while. Johanna said you could come with me to Amity at any time. I am welcome here. These fantastic trees reach the sky it seems and apples and various fruit are everywhere. I wouldn't want to live here forever, by any means, but I think it's a nice place to stop and visit." I look behind me to see my father has stopped walking and is now waving to a distant grey figure. Tobias and I stop to, as the figure approaches I can sense the tension in Tobias. I stare at Marcus who walks slowly toward us, he sees Tobias and grins at him. "My son." He opens his arms and increases his pace, Tobias is rigid and frozen. I step in front of Tobias as Marcus comes just mere paces from his son.

"Stay away from him." I let every last syllable sting with my hatred for Marcus.

My father stares at me, "Beatrice what has gotten into you?"

"This matter does not concern you father. Please take Susan and we will meet you elsewhere." I feel a hand on my shoulder and Tobias is suddenly pushing me behind him.

"Mr. Prior, Susan, please listen to Tris and go." Tobias voice is a tad shaky, I can only imagine the amount of courage it is taking him to stand up to his father.

My father looks at Susan, "Susan, go and find your brother." Susan bows hers head and walks away from us. "While this matter doesn't discern me directly it affects you, Beatrice and you, Tobias. The two of you are in a relationship and thus Tobias you are as much my child as Beatrice is. So I will not be leaving this discussion." Marcus hasn't uttered a sound, his eyes like snakes dig into me and I let out a low growl, my small act of distaste for him. I grasp Tobias hand and stand my ground beside him, Marcus needs to see that Tobias and I are united, a message I wish I could have sent to Evelyn when we met.

Marcus frowns, "Tobias, why don't you and I discuss this privately."

"No." Tobias voice has regained its strength, I can see how Tobias can be quite intimidating, his short, clipped, and quiet words speak volumes about his anger.

Marcus clears his throat, "Tobias," his tone is chastising and I sense some threats mixed in there. "I recommend you and your girlfriend take your proper place in respects to your elders." He glances at my father than at me.

Tobias nears Marcus, he is almost a whole head taller than his father, "you will leave Tris and I alone. If you so much as come near her or me, I will make you pay. You respect her and I and you stay out of our business." Tobias takes a breath, takes my hand and begins to walk away. Neither of us turns back and I can hear my father begin to question Marcus. I will let the two of them figure this out, my father and Marcus can deal with each other. I turn to Tobias and pull his face towards mine, "I am so proud of you. I love you, I hope you know that." I fit my lips to his and just let myself get lost in our small moment of peace.

"I love you, too Tris." Tobias smiles at me and for this one moment everything seems okay.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Tobias gently shakes my good shoulder, "Tris."

"Tobias...Let me sleep." I take a breath and move closer to him, the familiar feeling of having him next to me keeping my eyes shut.

He laughs, "it's getting dark. We can't sit out here all night."

"Why can't we? It's nice outside and I really don't want to move." I wrap my arms around Tobias waist and lean my head on his chest, "don't tell me that staying outside is nicer than being trapped indoors."

"Tris," he tips my chin up, "come on, you are going to need your medicine soon. And you need to be asleep on a firm bed so your shoulder won't get too sore. Plus I don't want you sick and it looks like it might rain tonight." He stands up and takes my hands, "tomorrow we discuss what to do as a faction."

"I should get some rest then. Things could change drastically tomorrow." We walk into Amity careful to watch for Marcus. We haven't seen him since the argument we had this morning, but I would rather not encounter him now. It's odd, really, the emotions I have right now. Sometimes I feel sad, like everything that has happened to me steals my smiles and laughter, other times I almost don't realize that anything bad has happened. Tobias just happens to be patient enough to deal with my ever changing mood. The lights are dimmed inside, everyone must have headed off to bed a while ago. Careful to be quiet, we open our door to a tall figure sitting on the edge of our bed, dimly lit next to a lamp. "Uriah? Zeke?"

The figure looks up, the shadow casting light on his eyes. I drop Tobias hand, confusion beginning to tingle through my fingertips and into my soul. Did he know about this? Could he have stopped this? Could he have saved my mother's life? "Caleb." My brother gives me his soft, Abnegation smile. No not Abnegation, it's Erudite. Caleb was never Abnegation, just a talented actor. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here for refuge just like you, Beatrice."

"It's Tris now." Tobias speaks for me, then glances between the two of us before sitting in one of the chairs sitting in the corner of the room. Tobias eyes follow each of Caleb's movements, is he as hesitant as I am to trust Caleb? He is my brother, but did he truly embrace the words 'faction before blood'? Is he still my brother or is he a productive citizen of Erudite? Supportive of the things his faction did?

Caleb frowns and looks at Tobias, "I've seen you before. What's your name?"

Tobias clenches his fists, "Tobias."

"And what are you in relation to my sister?" Caleb stands tall and takes a few steps towards Tobias.

"I'm her boyfriend," Tobias relaxes slightly and switches his gaze to me. Maybe I should step in? "Tris needs rest, maybe we can continue this later."

"And since when did you start telling my sister what she can and cannot do? How old are you anyway? You don't look her age."

Tobias clenches his fists again, "18."

"Aren't you a little _old _to be dating my sister?"

I step forward before any more words can be tossed around, "both of you shut up. Caleb, Tobias is my boyfriend and I am happy with him. So you need to learn to accept him as a permanent part of my life. Tobias, Caleb is my brother he is the only family I have left with the exception of my father, he is also a permanent fixture in my life. So why don't we start over?" I take a deep breath and look between the two; both of them have scowls written upon their faces. "You both love me?" They murmur yes before matching my gaze. "Well then if you love me, then you will realize that I love both of you and I need the two of you to at least tolerate each other. Now, Caleb this is my boyfriend, Tobias. Tobias this is my brother Caleb." They give each other a slight nod, "shake hands."

Tobias tentatively offers his hand to Caleb, they shake twice and Caleb rubs his wrist. I smile at the two of them then face Caleb. "Beatrice...sorry, I forgot it's Tris now. Tris I ran from Erudite the moment I heard about the attack. I ended up here in Amity when they announced their neutrality and opened the doors as refuge for the factions. I saw father earlier today. He told me I could wait for you."

"Of course, I didn't know how you were faring. Do you need a room?" I hug Caleb, but wince at the pain it sends through my shoulder.

"Tris?" Caleb looks at me, "are you okay?"

Tobias is at my side in an instant, "Tris." He gives me the medicine I need and helps me slip into bed. "Get some rest. I will get Caleb into a room." He gives me a light kiss before turning to my brother. I fight to keep my eyes open, instead I end up passed out asleep before Caleb can even say good night.

* * *

><p>The sound of quiet whispers keeps distracting me, "this quite possibly could be the most counterproductive faction ever."<p>

''I think it's beautiful." Tobias whispers. I roll my eyes but he smiles, "it is. Something about the value they put on everyone in the faction makes it beautiful, everyone has a say, everyone is involved."

I snort, "what did they do to you?"

"Nothing," he puts his arm around me and runs his hand over my hair, "its just interesting to watch." Tobias and I sit together in a crowd of other Abnegation. The two Dauntless with us sitting beside me, us being the only row not completely clad in bright yellow. The four of us, Zeke, Uriah, Tobias, and I refused to wear that color, we settled for dark red and the washed out yellow. Dauntless has smeared some of it's traits on us, I also stopped wearing my hair in the bun that every other woman and girl here in Abnegation has. If anyone ever doubted my divergence they won't now, I have taken a stand against the tendencies of my people. The Amity move around us discussing everything and then sending one to the next group to discuss it. I am slowly losing patience sitting here, waiting for some kind of answer. Finally Johanna Reyes stands and pipes up her voice over the quiet murmurs of Amity, no one in Abnegation is talking except Tobias and I.

"Amity has discussed the events of the last few days and has come to a conclusion regarding the refugees we had decided to open our doors to in another faction discussion." I roll my eyes, I can't believe that the Abnegation sat through this once already. Johanna smiles, "given that the Abnegation have been here for some time now, and the Amity have remained neutral in their stance throughout the Factions. We have decided to keep Amity a place of refuge for all those wishing to escape their faction. And we have decided that should, a model-citizen of reputable qualities, want to become a permanent member of Amity that invitation is extended to them. They will still have to abide by the rules of initiation and the rules of Amity. We want you all to know we have not made this choice in an effort to make you turn against your faction, rather we have come to realize that some of you are trying to rebuild your lives which is difficult to do considering that your homes are destroyed. Thus we offer this to you." Johanna surveys the room and loos directly at a few members of Abnegation who seem content with the idea of staying here. Johanna then settles here eyes on the dull and less chipper group of Abnegation, the four of us, in the crowd. "For anyone who comes from Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, or the Factionless we also extend this opportunity to you, although you must prove you have ended any inclination towards violence. The rules of weapons in Amity still apply, should any be found peace serum will be administered immediately and you will be escorted off of Amity's sector."

Tobias leans closer to me, "we won't be here very long then." He glances at Uriah and Zeke, "especially if they keep on communicating openly with the other factions. They could try to attack us here."

Johanna looks through the crowd, "Thank you all for your time. We will be notifying the other Factions of our decisions." Johanna smiles and the crowd begins to disperse. Tobias makes a good point, one that I don't want to dwell on at the moment. Zeke walks to us, "I don't think we will be here long."

"I agree," my eyes shift around the swarm of Abnegation I'm standing in. "What are we thinking?"

Zeke scratches his chin, "we could head back to the Factionless. I'm not sure where the other Dauntless are, you two should stay with the Abnegation. This is your faction. You have been reunited with them, the Amity are even offering you a second chance at rebuilding your lives."

Tobias frowns, "Zeke, we are not Abnegation. Not any more, the qualities we have developed will keep us from every being Amity or Abnegation. Besides, I never want to be somewhere, where I won't have the ability to defend myself when this kind of thing happens." He looks at me, "Tris what do you think? If you want to stay here, we can figure out how to fit in again?"

"No, I'm not Abnegation any more either." I take his hand, "we don't belong here. Not Tobias, not Zeke, not Uriah, and not me. We should be prepared to leave soon, especially since the Amity are going to disclose their decision with the other factions. It could lead to another attack."

Zeke nods, "we will talk about it and come up with a plan later." Tobias nods to Zeke and leaves me to speak with him. My eyes search the crowd for Susan, my only other female friend here. I wonder if Susan will choose to stay, her brother is here in Amity, and their beliefs are much like the Abnegation. I search the crowd for her face and find it with a small crowd of Abnegation. "Susan?"

Susan smiles at me, "Beatrice," she frowns, "excuse me, it's Tris now." She links arms with me, a very not Abnegation thing to do, and guides us outside.

"Will you be joining Amity, Susan?" I ask, "you seem very happy here. As your friend, I just wanted to make sure that you were happy."

Susan looks surprised at my words, she shakes her head, "no. I couldn't be in Amity."

"But Robert is here." I can't understand why she wouldn't want to be with the last person of her family. I would think she would want to be with her brother. "I figured you would want to stay with him."

Susan stops and looks at me, carefully searching my eyes, "Tris. I know it's not very Abnegation of me, but I am very angry with all that has happened. The Erudite just murdered our people...my parents." She blinks away tears as a new resilience replaces them, "I'm angry and the last thing I feel is peace. While my brother and many other Abnegation are happy to keep many of their Abnegation ideals and gain more freedom in Amity, I am not one of them."

"So you won't be joining this faction?"

Susan shakes her head, "no. I will not be. Tris, how long will you and Tobias be here? With your friends from Dauntless?" That's one thing I have to give to Susan, she was at first wary of Uriah and Zeke, but upon realizing that they were forced into murdering Abnegation as puppets has accepted them. She at least points her anger at the right people, the Erudite. "

"We are not sure, but we won't be here long. I have changed greatly, Susan in the past weeks. Both physically and emotionally, mainly mentally. I do not believe in taking the course of peace with regards to this attack on Abnegation. Nor do I believe that standing idly by instead of taking revenge because it's selfish is correct." I find myself repeating the manifesto of the Dauntless, words that I always admired but now truly believe in. "Rather, I believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, for defending those who cannot defend themselves, and I believe in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

Susan stares at me, "that is from the Dauntless manifesto."

"And the words are true. I told you I have changed, Susan. I refuse stand idly by as our world falls apart." I look at her expression with a small smile, "we were once alike Susan. We once were united under a life of selflessness and humility. But things are different now, I'm sorry if that affects our friendship."

I expect Susan to say goodbye and leave, instead she takes my hand and within her eyes I see something new there. "Tris, this changes nothing between us." She seems to be debating something, "I'm coming with you when you leave."

"Susan, what I am doing is dangerous, you could be injured or killed."

Susan nods her head at me, "Tris, I do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

My father and Caleb sit across from me at one of the tables set outside of Amity. "I'm leaving in the morning."

Caleb frowns, "it's safe here, Beatrice-"

"Tris." I correct him and stare at his scowl. "Caleb you can't tell me what to do anymore, not since you left us."

Caleb looks away from me. My father takes a deep breath, "I can't stop you, Tris. However, since you are going to leave I want you to know that I will stand behind your decision. I know Tobias will take good care of you, it has become very obvious to me how much he loves you...When this is over there will always be a place for you in Abnegation. Even though I know you don't belong with us anymore. As well as for you Caleb." My father grasps my hand across the table as well as Caleb's, "Beatrice, I see what a strong and brave woman you have grown into and I realize that you belong with another group of people, whether that be Dauntless, Candor, even the Factionless. Caleb you are not Abengation either, and if the loyal Erudite establish themselves elsewhere you should be with them. Go where you belong, Beatrice and Caleb, I will love you no matter where that is."

A lone tear rolls down my cheek, "thank you father. That means so much to me." I turn my attention to Caleb, "will you be staying here in Amity?"

Caleb nods, "not forever. Just until things settle down and the loyal Erudite break from Jeanine and her followers." I feel another stab of betrayal when Caleb says that, even after the Erudite have killed Abnegation he still chooses to stay with them. He embraced the idea of 'faction before blood.' My eyes focus on the ground, "father I assume you will be staying here in Amity as well."

My father smiles, "yes, our people need guidance and I do not trust Marcus to take part in leading our people." My father stands and hugs me tightly before grasping my shoulders at arms length, "I love you, always remember that."

"I will." I turn to Caleb and give him a hug despite the growing feeling of betrayal I feel for him, "be safe, Caleb."

"You too, Tris."

* * *

><p>Tobias, Zeke, and Uriah stand by the trains waiting for me. I turn to Susan who has kept quiet this entire time, "Susan, jumping onto the trains is difficult at first but you will catch on."<p>

"Are you good at it?"

"Yes, but I have had almost a year of practice." My hand flies into my pocket trying to find the pain medication the Amity gave to me. Maybe if I give myself an extra dose I won't feel any pain when I jump into the train car.

Susan frowns, "a year? That means you were doing this before the attack?"

I shrug, "Tobias and I would come out here and jump on and off the trains late at night before we left for work."

"I can't believe that," Susan shakes her head at me, "I can't believe I never noticed how different the two of you were. You always seemed so...selfless."

I laugh and look at her, "it seems I am a better actor than I thought." The three boys turn to me and I can see that they aren't exactly happy about the friend I have brought with me. Perhaps I could have mentioned it when we were discussing our plans, but I didn't want to cause any trouble. As we approach I can tell all three of them have plenty of things to say, I move my hand dismissively, "before any of you say a word, Susan Black is my friend. I trust her and she will prove to be a useful part of our endeavors. She is smart and learns fast. Besides, there isn't anything left for her in Abnegation or Amity."

Zeke cocks his head to the side and rubs his chin, "you mean she's not a Stiff either. She's like you and Tobias?"

I smile, "Susan is anything, but a Stiff." We focus our attention at the growing screams of the train heading to us. I look at Susan and see the terrifying excitement in her eyes, "Susan, just follow our lead." The train rattles towards our group, the boys each pulling themselves in with ease. I run along the train and use my good arm to drag myself in. Susan reaches out and grasps the handle, her whole body slamming into the door. Uriah reaches out and pulls her into the car. Susan brushes the stray hairs out of her face, her cheeks ruddy from the exertion. The four of us watch her waiting for her to ask to return to Amity, to cry about what a mistake this was. For the first time in my life, Susan Black takes me by surprise.

"That was amazing, Tris!" She breaks out into a fit of giggles and pulls herself to the edge of the train car. She unties her bun and lets her hair wrap around her face and shoulders. I give Tobias a sideways glance and see the puzzlement on his face, he is surprised too.

Tobias draws me to him, "how's your shoulder?"

"I took some medicine before I jumped in so I don't feel any pain." I lean my head in Tobias's lap and stare at the ceiling of the train car. Zeke and Uriah begin to yell and laugh with each other. I close my eyes, the laughter of Susan, the yells of the boys, are more comforting than the silence I was once consoled by in Abnegation. Zeke poked Tobias in the shoulder and then pokes me, "I guess she could fit in with us." He glances to Susan who is seated at the edge of the car with her feet dangling in the wind.

"I told you she wasn't a stiff, Zeke." I prop myself up and poke him back. Zeke and Uriah have become like brothers to me, they are more honest and faithful then Caleb and they have proven to be more protective than my own flesh and blood. They were there to bury my mother, they helped me clean my faction, they protect me, they are there to help me, they even made sure to make sure my father was well stocked with everything he needed. Those are the acts of not only friends but of family. Words leave my mouth before I can put them in check, "you know, you and Uriah are like my brothers?" The moment the words float into the air I realize I have created two monsters.

Zeke gets this large grin that covers nearly half his face, Uriah wipes some fake tears and pinches my cheek, "and you're a little sister Tris." Then Zeke grabs me other cheek and the two of them pull on my cheeks until I get angry and smack their hands from my face. Uriah laughs, "see you're even annoyed by us." Uriah shifts his gaze to Tobias, "if you hurt my sister, I will cut you open and feed your entrails to the pigs."

I cover my mouth to stifle a laugh, "pigs? What pigs? Where did that even come from?"

Uriah glares at Tobias, slides his finger across his neck and makes a gagging/dying sound. Uriah points to himself then to Tobias and lips the words 'I'm watching you' before turning and smiling at me, "1. There are bound to be pigs somewhere. I mean where else does my bacon come from? 2. According to the code of brotherhood-"

Zeke slaps Uriah in the head, "there is no code of brotherhood."

"There is to!" Uriah focuses back on me, "before I was rudely interrupted, according to the rule of brotherhood, big brothers are to be threatening to their sister's boyfriends. It's nothing personal Tobias, I'm just following the rules."

The three of us stare at Uriah and burst into a fit of cackles. Tobias turns to me, "whatever your brother's say doesn't matter. I will love you anyway." He wraps his hand around my jaw and pulls my mouth to his. I will never get tired of the feeling he gives me. That feeling of weightlessness, like everything around me is spinning yet perfectly still. As if my heart might beat out of my chest, yet some calming inner peace makes me feel secure. The fake coughs and cat calls get me to pull my lips from Tobias, "way to ruin the moment Zeke and Uriah." He states.

I fall back into Tobias lap and close me eyes, one day things will be okay. Whether that be in Dauntless or Abnegation, I will be okay.

* * *

><p>I set up Susan in our 'Loser's Corner' at the foot of Zeke and Uriah's cot. Susan hasn't stopped talking since the trains, where was this animated and vocal Susan during Initiation? Now though its quiet she has laid in the cot, wrapped herself in a blanket, and fallen to sleep. I prepare myself for bed when I hear Christina, "you're back!"<p>

"Hey, Christina. I thought you would be asleep by now?" I glance around at everyone who is still awake with the exception of Susan and a few Factionless.

Christina rolls her eyes, "you Abnegation go to bed early. We still have a few more hours of usable time on our hands." She pulls me up from the cot and looks me over, "do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Tris, it's simple. You either trust me or you don't."

Do I trust you? Well, let's see we have spoken a few times, I've considered the idea that we could become best friends. I take one last look around me, what do I have to lose? "Yes, I do."

Christina takes my hand, "good. You won't believe what I found out here? Guess." She looks back at me, "go on, guess."

"I don't know a shower?" I wish there was one, the ones in Amity were a very nice commodity.

"Ha ha, real funny, Tris." Christina stop and turns a corner into a hallway without a soul to be found, "okay so I found something." She lets out a squeal and starts rummaging through some things and finds a dusty case with odd powders in bright and dull colors.

"What is that?"

"I found it while you and Uriah, Zeke, and Tobias were gone. Marlene and I went hunting through the Factionless and came across this makeup case."

"Did it expire?" I eye the dust laying on top and the worn edges.

"I don't think so, but you are the test face, okay?" Christina opens it up and pushes me into sitting on a three legged chair supported by a block of wood. "Sit still, don't move, okay?"

"Okay."

She frowns, "no more talking. You are going to be a whole new you!"

"You won't make me pretty." I already know I won't be pretty, I'm not ugly, but I also am not pretty or beautiful or stunning.

"I was going more for...noticeable."

Noticeable is a big deal for me, since in Abnegation living unnoticed is a cornerstone of who we are. Christina will be giving me something I could only dream of in Abnegation, and that is being noticed. Christina doesn't speak, as she presses soft brushes to me eyes and cheeks, an almost pasty mix is pressed to my lips and eyes. Christina says it was old and it took some water to make it work again. After she finishes my face she begins to mess with my hair, twisting it and tucking it beneath other strands. My legs begin to go numb, and I don't think I can sit here any longer and be still.

"Am I done yet?"

"Calm down, get some patience I am finished." Christina stands back with a proud look on her face.

I look at her, "did it work?"

"Tobias won't be able to keep his hands off of you."

I look away from her, cheeks red, and the mere thought of Tobias finding me desirable has kicked my heartbeat into overdrive. She rustles through some trash and finds a shard of glass, "if you look at it from the right angle, Tris, you can see your reflection." I turn it back and forth, until I can see something. The girl in the glass is not Beatrice Prior. This girl has white porcelain skin, soft pink lips, round icy blue eyes, rosy cheeks, and golden hair. This girl is not beautiful, but she is noticeable, even slightly attractive. I smile at Christina and pulls her into a hug, "thank you. Christina, thank you so much."

Christina murmurs a 'you're welcome' and starts fussing with me again. When she steps back the satisfied and awed expression on her face, tells me I look special. I look like I am more than just an Abnegation girl. Like the girl, Tris Prior on the inside, now matches her on the outside. Beatrice Prior from humble Abnegation is gone. "We have to show Tobias, Tris." She takes my hand and leads me away. I just hope he likes it. She directs me back to our 'Loser's Corner' and clears her throat, "I now present the new and improved, Tris Prior!" Christina steps aside and I hear a few cat calls and the other girls congratulations to Christina. I let my eyes look over everyone and slowly find their way to Tobias.

I'm worried he won't like it, or he will expect me to look this nice all the time, or just realize how much better he could have in place of me. I look up at him, his eyes wide and jaw slightly open. "Tris, you...you look...different."

I try not to frown, he doesn't like it, "different." I repeat, hoping he won't hear some of the hurt in my voice. I thought he would like it. Why didn't he like it.

"Different is good Tris. You look more perfect and beautiful than I ever imagined. I didn't even know you could be more spectacular than you were before." Tobias pulls me to him, "you look stunning."

"Thank you, I was hoping you would like it..." I twist my fingers together, "but you realize I won't be able to look like this all the time.""

"Tris, I love it. I love you no matter how you look, with or without make up."

I smile, "well that made me feel better."

Tobias kisses me for a long time, everyone around me sizzling out of consciousness, until all I notice is the pressure of his hands on my waist, his lips on mine, and my heartbeat that is now ringing through my ears. "I love you, Tris."

"I love you too, Tobias."

He wraps his arms around me, "I am not letting you go or out of my sight ever again."

"Really?"

"You are much to beautiful for me to just let you walk around. Someone might steal you from me."

"No one will steal ever me from you, Tobias. Not in a million years."

Tobias kisses me again, "I won't ever be able to stop doing that."

I grin, "good, I don't want you to."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

I shake Susan's shoulder, "Susan, you've got to get up. Edward and Uriah are going to teach you how to fight." The light is hardly streaming through the window, golden rays of light glinting off of Susan's ash blonde hair. Susan opens her eyes and frowns, "wake up. You have five minutes to get yourself ready, meet me downstairs." I turn on my heel and run down the steps of the building. The room has been set up with the fabric targets we trained with when first arrived in the Factionless. A knife sails into one the walls and my eyes flick to Tobias. His back is straight as a rod, his muscles tense, veins bursting like wire against his skin. Whatever happened it's bothering him, "Tobias?"

He glances at me, his eyes dark and wild, "Tris."

"What's wrong?" I move towards him, "Tobias, talk to me."

Tobias leans against one of the tables and takes a slow breath, "Evelyn." Something inside me snaps at hearing her name. Tobias runs his palms over his jeans and the corner of his lip turns down, "she asked me to help her lead the Factionless into overthrowing Erudite."

My mouth opens but nothing seems to come out. If Evelyn overthrows Erudite then she would try to take control of the whole Faction system. Why else would she want to completely end an entire faction. "Do you think she is going to try and take control of the factions?"

"Seems like it. If she can overthrow Erudite she would also be overthrowing most of the Dauntless who sided with the Erudite after the attack. Abnegation has, for the most part, blended into Amity and the Abnegation who didn't join their faction are too small to defend themselves. Candor will do whatever they need to if it means they can walk away from this unscathed. It's a perfect opportunity for her to take control...What should I say?"

"I'm not sure." The idea of a life ruled without factions by Evelyn of all people terrifies me. "What is she going to do if her plan does work?"

Tobias shrugs, "take control. Do things her way." His eyes meet mine and I see how torn he is, "she's not as bad as Marcus, but she isn't an angel either."

"I could've told you that," I snort. Footsteps from the stairs gather my attention, "we can talk later okay. Susan needs to be trained." Tobias tips the corner of his mouth up into a smile and cups my face in his hand, he smells of metal and something masculine I can't distinguish. He gives me a light kiss before walking up the stairs and nodding a brief hello to Edward and Uriah leaves me. Edward walks down the steps and cracks his knuckles.

"I just love the smell of metal in the morning." Edward grins at me and Uriah before setting his knives and guns on the table. Edward hasn't ever been extremely pleasant to be around and usually keeps to himself on most occasions. Today he is abnormally warm and nice. I wonder if it's because he knows that Evelyn plans on conquering the Factions and he sees that he will be given some power. Evelyn trusts Edward as much as she trusts Tobias, it seems. Uriah throws his arm around my neck and rubs his knuckles into my skull, sending my tangled hair into a bush of blonde curls.

"So I was thinking-" Uriah says.

I frown, "uh-oh." Uriah raises his eyebrows at me and pretends to punch at my gut.

He clears his throat, "as I was saying, I was thinking that you could help Edward and I train Susan."

"Really? Am I good enough for that?" I am a good shot, an okay fighter, although I admit a very good knife thrower, but not at all at the skill level to teach someone.

Edward nods, "one of my best pupils, second to Tobias and that's only because he excelled in three aspects of training. You only excelled in two."

"Thank you. I will help train Susan than." As if on queue Susan walks into the room. Of course at Abnegation pace, slow enough not to gather attention, fast enough not to be leisurely. She glances around the room and then sees the knives and guns on the table. She shifts her eyes to me and within them I see fear and hesitation. "It's alright, Susan. I know we were taught that we shouldn't use a weapon since it's self serving, but Abnegation is gone. You chose to come here, so this is one of the things you have to do." I don't like that I have to be so blunt with her, but the sooner she realizes that this is not Abnegation anymore the better.

Susan gives an assured nod, "you're right." She approaches the table her hand hovering over the weapons. Edward hands her a knife and takes one that he passes to me. Edward explains that I will be teaching her how to throw knives. I swallow and take a place next to Susan. I grasp the knife in the hand of my good arm and show her how to stand, how to thrust her arm forward, how to aim. "My turn?" Susan asks and tries to copy my movements. She tosses the blade it doesn't stick or come particularly close to anything but at least it cut through the air correctly.

"Let's keep practicing until you feel comfortable with it." I say, she nods and takes the knife again. Edward and Uriah sit on stools behind us making occasional comments to help her and by the time about three hours has past she can accurately use the knife. Edward pushes the stool he is sitting on back, "okay, Susan. Now you need to learn how to shoot a gun."

"Alright, I think that will be a tad easier than knives." She picks up the gun and looks at it with an odd stare in her eyes. At first I think it's sadness, the gun probably reminding her of the family she lost. Then it is pushed out by that resilience I saw a few days ago. She follows Edwards instructions carefully, each movement meticulous and careful. Her first few shots send her backwards, but gradually she catches on. I expected her to protest or ask for a break, but she keeps going. Each time her mouth set a little firmer, her fear dwindling with each new technique, her prowess growing as she learns more. By the time Edward calls for a break we have been working nearly five hours straight. I hug Susan, "that wasn't so bad, Tris."

"No, it wasn't." I link my arm through hers, "let's eat and then we will teach you how to fight. For the next week though you will have to wake up early and practice. To keep what you have learned sharp in your mind." Uriah passes us each a can of scrambled eggs, a breakfast that was common in Abnegation. "You are doing very well Susan, I'm proud of you."

She smiles and eats her food without saying anything for a while, "do you think I will fit in with you one day?"

"How do you mean?" Susan stays silent for a few minutes, the sound of our forks against the cans being the only thing occupying the space between us. I wait patiently for her to find her words, a trait I did learn from Abnegation was patience with my friends. However that trait ends there, I have little patience for Evelyn and most of the standoffish Factionless.

Susan shrugs, "I mean the way that you and Tobias interact with the others. Will I fit into that? I'm not used to being touched by very many people, but here you hug others, you grasp their hands, kiss them on the cheek. The easy banter you have with everyone, its so different from how we were raised."

"I know, Susan. You will fit into our lives, you've already begun." I set my can down as Uriah and Edward stand up. "Let's finish teaching you how to fight." I can tell fighting is what is going to scare her the most. The gun and knife are long distance weapons, but fighting requires being in close quarters with your opponent. Edward motions for me to stand in front of her, "I guess I am teaching you."

Edward spins the knife between his fingers, "Tris will show you how to move, she's fast and you are taller than her but built similarly. After that you can fight Uriah."

I show her various punches and kicks, ways to defend herself, how to move around her opponent. She copies me and I make her repeat until I'm sure she can at least pin Uriah or make him fight harder. Uriah steps forward after we are done and raises his fists. In Abnegation fighting was prohibited, especially between a man and woman. Here though, Uriah doesn't even hesitate at the idea of fighting a girl. I can see the same thoughts running through Susan mind, Uriah gives her a slight nod. Susan attacks first like I taught her, she sends her fist into Uriah's arm when she tried to punch at his face. Uriah goes for a jab near her side but Susan jumps to the left and brings her elbow to his side. Uriah lets out a breath and sweeps his foot out and kicks her to the ground. Susan clutches her side and folds in on herself. I stand as Uriah's eyes flicker and he kneels beside her, whispering he's sorry. Susan starts to get up and sends her elbow into Uriah's chin and thrusts her fist into his lip. I glance at Edward who has the same shocked look in his eyes. Uriah stands and holds his bleeding lip between his fingers, "that hurt."

Susan stands up and dusts herself off, she sees the blood seeping through his fingers, "oh, I'm sorry Uriah." I can hear her panic despite the smile on her lips, "I didn't know it was going to make you bleed. Here let me go get something to clean you up." She sifts through the trash trying to find something, I look at Edward.

"That was a really sneaky move."

Edward nods, "it was kind of brilliant actually. She fooled you Uriah."

Uriah sits down beside me, "I didn't see it coming. What happened to the Stiff?"

Susan's head whips around and she gets a large grin on her face, "don't call me Stiff anymore." She rests her hands on her waist, a confidence about her I never realized she had. Or maybe she just developed. "I'm not a Stiff, so call me by my name."

"Okay, Susan." Uriah says, "it doesn't fit either."

Susan rocks on her feet for a moment, "you're right. Susan doesn't fit anymore."

"Boring name," Edward says.

"Abnegation name." I say.

Susan clasps her hands in front of her, "Suzie?"

"No." I say.

"Sue?" Uriah asks.

Susan shakes her head, "no."

Edward snaps his fingers, "I got it." Edward really must be in a good mood to add to a conversation not based on fighting or shooting guns. "Sunny."

Uriah frowns, "that doesn't even sound like Susan."

Edward shrugs, "I figured it worked. I mean _Susan _has a _Sunny _personality. She just busted your lip open and she is smiling about it. That takes some serious positivity don't you think?"

Susan nods, "Sunny. I like it." She repeats it to herself a couple of times, "if you call me Stiff again, Uriah. I will bust your lip again." We all burst into laughter and I wonder once again why I never noticed what a complex person she was. I squeeze her arm and smile.

"You're going to fit in just fine, Sunny."

I haven't seen her smile to big in my entire life.


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry guys I've been camping...so here is the update it took forever to get you.**

* * *

><p><strong> Chapter 21<strong>

Tobias and I stand on the roof, my eyes trailing the sunset behind him, "has Evelyn said anything?"

"No," he leans against the parapet, his lips twitch into a frown. "Hasn't said a word."

"Do you think she's upset?" I run my hand through my hair and shift my gaze to his.

He shrugs, "perhaps. I think she is more taken back that I told her I wouldn't help her overthrow the factions. I don't want a war, I want to get back to my life. Whether that be in Abnegation...or anywhere else."

I understand what he is saying, both of us don't know where we will belong once this is all over. "Do you think we could fit in with them?"

"With who?"

"Honestly," I shake my head, "I'm not sure anymore. We chose to stay in Abnegation, yet here we are being Dauntless. Will we ever fit into one?"

"Tris, we aren't Dauntless or Abnegation. We've both known that since before this attack ever happened." Tobias scowls despite the fact that he's right. We are Divergent; we never fit perfectly into Abnegation and we probably wouldn't have fit perfectly into Dauntless.

"Maybe we can run away," I laugh a little, "maybe we can leave and live outside the gates. We could defend ourselves, be self-sufficient."

The ends of his lips form a smirk, "I guess." Tobias pulls me to him, "I will go wherever you are happy." The hatch leading to the roof flips open and a mass of curly brown hair is followed by a pair of dark darting eyes looks straight ahead. "Hey Uriah...You know we can see you?"

"You see nothing." He looks around realizing that we did in fact see him and drags himself up and lays down against the floor of the roof, "I come with some news."

"Which is?" I sit down beside him and poke him in the gut, he makes a gagging sound and tips his head back.

"We are going to Candor. To meet with the other Dauntless and decide our fates and choices as a faction. But I need to ask you something?"

A frown settles onto my face, they are leaving us here with the Factionless. I glance at Tobias to see the same frown upon his face. "Oh. I'm guessing you're asking some provisions for your trip soon then?"

Uriah shakes his head, "I wanted to know if you and Tobias wanted to come with us?"

My eyes widen and settle on Tobias, _they want us to go with them. _The look in his eyes gives me our answer, "yes, of course...What about Susan?"

"It's Sunny now." Tobias says. He nods to Uriah, "but she is right. We can't leave her here."

Uriah nods, "I think the others won't mind if she comes, but let me talk to them and let you know." He sits up and smiles at us, "see you later." Tobias and I follow him inside and choose to skip dinner, excitement for our trip keeping us from wanting to eat. Uriah whispers something to Tobias and tells us Sunny can go before disappearing from view. Tobias and I fall into bed early while everyone else prepares for sleep.

Tobias wraps his arms around me, "are we going?"

"Yeah, they said Sunny can go. Nothing is stopping us." I lay my head against his shoulder, "will the other Dauntless accept us like these ones have?"

Tobias closes his eyes, "I'm not sure. But I think we will prove ourselves like we have already."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

><p>My grip on my backpack has my flushed my knuckles white. Zeke leads us to the Candor Headquarters, it's letters missing and the lack of color making it seem more empty than it is. It once said Merchandise Mart, however now some of the letters are missing and it now looks like Merciless Mart. Which I think is closer to the truth of Candor, their honestly is without mercy. Without any kindness. Zeke nears the doors to be greeted by three Candor who move towards the group of us.<p>

Tobias takes my hand and slips his fingers between mine as one of the Candor speak, "welcome to Candor. You are all under arrest."

They escort us into the Merciless mart and force us to sit in a line of chairs facing a table with a chair on either side and a small briefcase. One of the Candor faces us, "I'm John, I will be interrogating you all."

"Interrogate?" I ask, "why? We've done nothing wrong."

He looks to me and his lips form a thin line, "four of you were involved with the Simulation. The others might also have something to do with it. Besides in order to stay here for refuge we need to make sure you bear no secrets."

_We need to make sure you bear no secrets. _My divergence. They are going to make me admit to being Divergent. My insides feel like their being twisted by a fork, intertwined, pulled, and stretched. I wipe my sweaty palms over my jeans and glance at Tobias. His body is so tense that his back looks like someone fused his spine with a metal rod like the one I had seen in Factionless to hold up pieces of furniture. The Candor man's lips peel back into a cold and cruel smile, "why don't we begin with the Dauntless traitor." His eyes point to Zeke and I can see how angry he is with that accusation.

Zeke doesn't make a point to stand, "_I _am not a _traitor." _He spits the words with a venom I didn't know Zeke had.

"We will see about that," John motions for him to go to the table and takes his place in the chair next to the briefcase. Zeke slowly stands and follows and plunks into the seat across from the Candor. "In Candor we have chosen to accept refugees from the other factions. However we use the Truth Serum as a...test. To make sure you aren't a threat to our faction or the refugees we house."

Zeke allows the Candor to inject the serum without so much as flinching. John leans forward against the table, "let's start simple. What's your name?"

"Zeke Pedrad."

"What faction are you in?"

Zeke rolls his eyes, "Dauntless."

"You were controlling the Simulation when Erudite attacked. Is that true?"

"Yes," he growls.

John nods, "were you forced to control the simulation?"

"Yes, I was under simulation and manipulated to run the computers."

"According to the tapes," the Candor licks his lips and gives another cruel smile, "you were in the computer room and then fought when someone tried to stop you. What happened?"

"I was under simulation, I didn't see things clearly. It wasn't until I was nearly beaten unconscious and forced to end the simulation that I snapped out of it."

John nods and looks at Zeke carefully, "is there anything else you would like to share with me?"

"I'm innocent."

"I see," his gaze shifts to the line of us sitting in the chairs against the wall and then back to Zeke. "Go on and meet the other Dauntless. Thank you for your honesty."

Zeke stands and walks to the crowd of Dauntless who cheer and embrace him wildly. The Candor man, John, looks to the wall and calls Uriah next, "the accomplice please make your way to the chair."

Uriah rolls his eyes and stands up, he is Divergent and if he can resist, maybe all of us can manipulate the simulation. Uriah sits down and handles the needle without even blinking. John sits down and clasps his hands in front of him, "what is your name?"

"Uriah Pedrad." Uriah relaxes after the first question although he resists whenever John asks him about something personal, something he doesn't want to share with the world. Eventually though he gives in. Uriah stands and leaves to the crowd of Dauntless that scream and embrace him. John nods and looks towards Tobias and I, "sir, come next please."

Tobias lips turn down as he makes his way to the chair. I can tell by the look in his eye he is going to resist every single question asked, Tobias and I are very private people and in Abnegation that was normal. He shuts his eyes as he is given the serum, John takes a breath, "what is your name?"

There is silence for a moment, Tobias trying to fight the serum. "Tobias Eaton."

"Son of Marcus Eaton."

Tobias clenches his fists, "yes."

"What faction are you in?"

Tobias frowns and chews his lip, it must be hard to resist this serum because both Uriah and Tobias tried to fight it and failed. "Abnegation."

"How," John searches for his words, "do you know Uriah and Zeke Pedrad?"

Tobias frowns and tries as hard as he can to fight. "Best friend and friend."

"Did you help Uriah Pedrad break into Dauntless and end the simulation?"

"Yes." Tobias didn't fight to give up that answer.

John nods and twists his black tie between his fingers, "Why aren't you with the other Abnegation in Amity?"

"I chose not to stay." His words are short and clipped, he is giving all he has to fight the serum. I wonder if I will have to do the same.

"Thank you for your honesty." Tobias stands and straightens his shirt before giving me a pointed look and standing a few feet from the table near me. John casts me a wicked glance, "last but not least, young lady."

I sit down, my eyes widen at the sight of the needle administering the serum. When I saw it from afar it wasn't nearly as large as it is now. I wince at the stabbing pain and the fire of burning pain I get from it. In Dauntless they use serums all the time, if I had switched there would I take this needle without even blinking. John's lips peel back to that terrifying smile. "What's your name."

I blink, Tris Prior or Beatrice Prior? I consider the two and decide on who I am, not who I was. "Tris Prior."

Recognition flashes in his eyes, _does he know my father_? "Is that your full name?" John must have seen my mental debate by the way he is looking over me.

"Yes." I lie. Lie? I thought I was supposed to tell the truth under this serum, to not be able to lie. I try to keep a smile from my lips, I can resist this serum.

John nods, "and what is your relation to Zeke Pedrad and Uriah Pedrad?"

"Close friends."

"And your relation to Tobias Eaton."

"I'm his girlfriend."

He nods, "what faction are you in?"

"Abnegation."

John adjusts his suit jacket, "why aren't you with the other Abnegation in Amity?"

"I chose not to stay." Copying Tobias words doesn't work in my favor.

"Why did you choose not to stay?"

I arch my eyebrow, "it was my choice."

"But, why Ms. Prior?"

He can't know about the Factionless, while I don't agree with Evelyn, I also can't let them destroy the only possible chance we have of fighting Erudite. "Simple, I won't leave my boyfriend."

John rolls his eyes, as if this is the obvious answer. "Thank you for your honesty."

I stand and take Tobias hand as we wait for Sunny to be questioned. He leans towards me, "how did you resist the serum?"

A smile settles on my lips, "I don't know. I just did."

He nods and takes a glance back at the large cluster of people clad in black, cheering and yelling. It's loud and distracting, but a piece of me loves it. Maybe all of me could love it, if I was here long enough. Someone claps me on the back and I turn to see Uriah, "when Sunny is done, I have a few people I want you to meet."

Once she has finished her questioning the three of us weave through the crowd of Dauntless, following Uriah to a group of Dauntless sitting on the floor playing some type of game."Guys, I want you to meet three friends of mine. Tris, Tobias, and Sunny."

The group turns and smiles, I notice one of them is the woman that gave me my aptitude test. I rack through my head and remember her name, Tori. She stands and throws her hair over her shoulder, "well aren't you two a sight for sore eyes."

I arch my eyebrow and turn to see Tobias with a surprised look on his face. Tori glances between us, "maybe we should talk." Tori leads us outside and explains how she was the test administrator for both of us. And starts to explain that we weren't really safe no matter where we switched because of the attack on Abnegation. Tori stops and looks at us once we are outside, "the two of you need to be careful even here. Who you are is still dangerous.''

I nod, "so we should still try to hide it."

Tori nods, "the Erudite have requested that everyone like you turn themselves in."

"Do you think we are crazy?" I ask. "I wouldn't turn myself into them."

"Just be careful," Tori sets a hand on my shoulder and on Tobias arm. "We are not safe here and Jeanine will stop at nothing to kill you and everyone like you. They want you dead."

My insides start to feel like their being twisted with a fork again, _they want you dead._


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys sorry for the lateness of a usual update...I needed to take a few days off and fill my mind with some creativity. So I read a few good series and I'm back, with a fresh and well rested mind. :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

I turn the corner to see Susan, _no it's Sunny, _giving Tobias a hug. I figured I would feel jealous, but instead I can feel nothing but happiness to know that my boyfriend and close friend have reached a simple friendship. I walk towards them as Sunny stands back from Tobias, "hey Tris."

"Hello, Sunny."

She turns to me and her lips twitch down, "it's okay that gave him a hug, right? I don't want you to think-"

"No," I wave my hand dismissively, "I wouldn't ever think that. You two are friends." I remember the reason why I came here and my own smile falls. "Sunny would you like to take a walk?" I glance at Tobias and he can see what I'm about to do. Tori said we are a danger to ourselves and others, Sunny deserves to know the truth. I can trust her.

She nods, "okay." Sunny and I walk along the buildings of the Candor sector of the city. "Tobias told me that now that I left Abnegation and the Factionless, thus my family. But I should consider myself a part of your family."

"You are, you've always been."

She smiles, "well he told me that from now on I could consider him my brother and that he promised Robert he would take his place and be a sibling to me."

A smile briefly covers my face, "I'm glad. Tobias is a great brother, I assume. I don't really know. He's only my boyfriend." I laugh but it dies quickly, as my main reason for talking hits me in the chest. I straighten my clothes and stay silent for a minute or two. "Look, I want you...I want you to know the truth about me, because things are going to get more dangerous now that we are here in Candor with the loyal Dauntless. Susan-"

"_Sunny_."

"Okay, Sunny, have-" I lower my voice, "you ever heard of the Divergent?"

Sunny stares at me, "I've heard of it, once or twice."

"Do you know what it means?"

"Of course." Sunny smiles, "that's...that's why Robert left."

My eyes widen, "it is?" When Robert left, he didn't leave any reason as to why. I never thought that Robert could be Divergent, I just thought that he knew he belonged in Amity, where he could have more freedom while keeping his most of his Abnegation values.

"He told me back in Amity. That's why he left our family, why he didn't tell a soul goodbye." Sunny tucks a strand of hair back, "I feel better knowing that he left because he wanted to keep me safe. He was glad to see me, but I could tell that he had moved on to a new chapter of his life."

As I get ready to tell her that I too am Divergent, Christina runs towards us with her eyes narrowed and her lips in a pressed thin line. "Christina, what's wrong?"

"The Dauntless are having a meeting. You two and Tobias should be there, you three are the only representatives of Abnegation. They're voting for leaders."

"We should go then," Sunny frowns and follows Christina to where the crowd of Dauntless are standing in a circle. In my faded black and grey clothing I don't fit into Dauntless, sometimes I wish I did. Sunny and I shove our way through the crowd. Tori pushes me to the middle along with Sunny and Tobias. "The Abnegation representatives are here!" Suddenly, it's silent. I can only hear our collective breaths. _Why did we command their silence? _Tori's eyes shift around the room, "we need to elect our new Faction leaders, as we all know Eric and Max are no longer considered our leaders!" She spits their names like venom.

A Dauntless from the back yells out someone's name, it takes a moment until I realize they called Zeke's. Zeke is pushed forward. Tori takes his hand and raises it above the heads of the many men and women which make up a mass of black. "Zeke Pedrad has been nominated for a position as leader. Those who agree?"

At first its a dull hum, soft and low, like a bees nest being rattled. Then it grows, into feet stamping against the ground and a rumble of agreement. Before I know it there are cries and shouts of Zeke's name, fists pounding against tables, more feet stomping on the ground. Something spectacular happens within me, I feel so much excitement. The unity in which they express their approval amazes me, it's loud and chaotic and makes my ears ring from the volume of it all. And yet it makes me feel alive. Like I'm part of something so much larger than myself, like their chaos makes something powerful. Something that cannot be controlled. Fearless. Dauntless.

Tori smiles and waits for the noise to settle, "so we have been decided! Other suggestions?"

A few names are called out, but quickly shot down by the murmurs tossed back. Zeke clears his throat, "I suggest Tori!"

Another howl of agreement, the other two leaders they appointed are two people I have never met however they seem to have the respect of their faction as well as Zeke and Tori. Zeke stands on a table to address the Dauntless, "we have some things to take care of as a faction. I suggest we put Tobias in a position of power in our faction."

"Zeke," Tobias whispers. It stays silent, I look at Zeke but Tobias speaks first. "Zeke. I'm not even Dauntless."

"Doesn't matter." He shakes his head, "Tobias has proven himself as one of us!" I have seen many sides of Zeke, but I had no idea he could lead the Dauntless, that he could use his words the way he is. I contain my shock as Zeke looks across the masses. "Tobias has proven himself Dauntless, proven himself more fearless and courageous than most of us here."

I hear a few snickers and a girl's voice behind me yells, "this _Stiff _couldn't possibly know how to be brave. They're _Abnegation_, weak compared to us. _Everyone _here earned their place, these _Stiffs _don't belong here. '' I glance to see the girl who said it, she's larger than me by a lot, her teeth crooked and her face splotchy with rage. My blood boils, my people have just been slaughtered, maimed, and torn apart...And some girl wants to make us an object of ridicule and hatred once again. _No, _my thoughts swirl around me as the murmurs of agreement with her Abnegation comment dissent through the people. The nickname 'Stiff' is tossed around, harsh words about my small frame, and Sunny's innocent composure are circulated. It's as if all their wariness of the Abnegation has returned. I clench my fists, hiding my anger until I hear someone's insult directed to Tobias and it's not until Tobias steps into the crowd I realize it was about me. Within seconds I hear something slam into the ground and the crowd parts to reveal Tobias standing over a boy about his age, Tobias pulls him up by the shirt, "what did you say?" His voice is quiet, clipped, a voice I haven't heard more than a handful of times.

The boy tries to look unfazed, although he seems startled by Tobias' outburst. "I said-" he whispers it so quietly I'm not sure Tobias heard him. Tobias pulls him up and punches him square in the face, sending him back into the crowd. He turns to the staring crowd around him, "I swear if any of you say a word about my girlfriend, my sister, or my faction, I can and will ruin you." Tobias gives one glance over the faces peering at him before setting his jaw and walking back to Zeke.

Zeke clears his throat, "I think we've proved our point. Tobias broke into Dauntless and was one of the people who ended the simulation. I still think he should have a position of power within our faction. He stands for what's left of Abnegation, they want to avenge their people. The three Abnegation we have here are not willing to let Erudite go without punishment. They left their community to end the simulation, they lost their families trying to save us, they moved from what was left of their homes to come here and challenge Erudite. That in itself shows more bravery than what we've done. More courageous than the choices we've made." Zeke looks to the crowd, "those who agree?"

I expect silence or the sneers and ridicule we received at first. Instead its that deep hum that rises into pounding feet and fists. Once it dies down Zeke smiles, "thanks, everyone. Let's get some rest. We will meet tomorrow to discuss our next move against Erudite and the traitor Dauntless."

* * *

><p>He should be glad I let him sleep in the mornings. I kneel beside him and shake his shoulder, "Tobias, time to wake up. I'm going to get breakfast while you get ready."<p>

Tobias mumbles and turns around, I stand up, "Tobias, when I come back you better be up and ready... or else."

"Or else?" He turns back to face me but keeps his eyes clamped shut.

"I am considering using a bucket of ice-water."

Tobias eyes spring open, "I'm awake, go get breakfast...Bring me back something?"

I murmur a yes before turning my back and heading down the hall. Today the Dauntless eyes linger on my small figure with contempt or irritation, I have no idea what I've done to upset them. Instead of cowering as I once would I have, I set my jaw and raise my shoulders with a quiet pride I have wanted to show since I was old enough to realize I don't fit into Abnegation. A shoulder bumps into me and I look up to see that mass of curly dark hair, "hey, Uriah."

"Hey."

My eyes glance over the faces staring back at me, "why are they staring?" I move closer to Uriah so that our shoulder's brush against each other with each step.

"They don't exactly like you. Not because you're Abnegation." He says quickly, "it's actually because you're small."

Of course, everyone always judges me for my size. "Why am I not shocked?"

Uriah laughs, "you'll prove them wrong, don't worry."

I move to where the food is being dished out to the Dauntless, Uriah and I stand in line speaking while I toss the occasional glare to a passerby who rolls their eyes to me. As I come to the small array of food, Christina slips between Uriah and I. She has a broad smile and bright eyes, she must be happy to be reunited with her friends. "Tris, there is someone I want you to meet."

"Oh?"

Christina nods, "yeah, he barely made it past initiation and he kind of needs some cheering up." She pops the 'p' and gives me an even larger smile.

"And so you came to me. In case you haven't noticed I am not the definition of cheer."

"You're Abnegation, you will feel some type of need to help him." Christina loops her arm with mine and pushes a muffin into my hand. "That'll do for breakfast. Now come on, he's with Will in the corner."

Christina leads me to a large boy, well more of a man, chewing on a bran muffin with Will. He looks like he could easily take me and Christina down without a fight, how did he hardly pass initiation? Once I reach their corner, both boys' eyes flick to me. Will gives me his own smile, "hey, Tris."

I wave hello and look to the other boy. He doesn't look too happy and tries his best smile, "I'm Al."

"I'm Tris, it's nice to meet you." The Abnegation in me wants to help this boy, the Dauntless in me demands that this boy learn how to take the punches life throws and grow up. At the moment the Dauntless side of me is winning the battle.

Al nods back to me, "how old are you? I don't think you were in our class."

"16, but I'm Abnegation. We were at the same Choosing Ceremony."

"Oh," his eyes fall and I can see a sadness within them, "I'm sorry for what we did. I can hardly live with myself, and-"

I shake my head dismissively, "it wasn't your fault. You were forced into it." For some reason my words feel forced but I shake the feeling off. I take one last glance around the room and offer a smile to the three of them before biting into my muffin. The tense silence settling between us, "I promised Tobias I would bring him breakfast, I will see you later."

"Who's Tobias?" Al asks.

I smile, "my boyfriend."

"Well, I'll see you around Tris."

Something about Al scares me, maybe its that someone so big shouldn't be so weak, or maybe that someone like him doesn't deserve to be here.


	23. Chapter 23

**q1Sorry it has taken so LONG to update. I just learned how to update with my tablet. I apologize for any errors or typos. **

**Chapter 23**

Christina chews at her lip, "I want to go home." The past day with these three has been more fun than I ever thought I could have in a place like Candor. Al even turned out to be a really nice person, despite his drastic mood swings. Christina frowns, "I really do miss it. I want to go home."

"Aren't you already here?" Will's smile brightens as Christina punches him the arm.

"Dauntless, _William_." Christina winks at him and laughs before focusing her attention on the man sitting in the corner. His shoulders slumped against the wall, face turned at his lap. "Al? Come on smile with me." Christina grins and pokes him in the shoulder. "Say something. Ask Tris a question or something, she's been quiet lately too."

Al looks up and sends a soft smirk. "So, Tris-" his eyes get lost in some place beyond mine. Then his eyes flick to me, "Tris? I don't mean to scare you by this..." His voice trails off.

My eyes widen quizzically. "Yes?" I tuck a lock of hair back, maybe I should cut it or something. The length of it sticks to the back of my neck and makes the space between my head and shoulders warm. I focus back on Al, whose eyes wander behind me yet again.

"That man over there is staring at you, Tris." Al points past my head to the tall man clad in black, his hair long enough to brush onto his neck, eyes dangerous, mouth tilted in a curve. "I don't like the way he is staring at you."

"Come with me, Al." Hesitantly, he takes my hand and allows me to helip pull him up, his shoulder rising far above my head. We walk towards the figure, maneuvering through a crowd of Dauntless, laughing and falling into each other. Deep blue eyes peer down at me and I feel a blush crawl on to my cheeks. "This," I turn to Al, "this is my boyfriend Tobias. Tobias this is Al."

Tobias outstretches his hand, "Al. You're friends with Tris?''

"Uh, yeah." Al frowns, "I'm sorry I don't recognize you from the compound. I'm usually good with faces and names. It's a Candor thing, I guess."

"I'm not Dauntless, actually I'm an Abnegation." Tobias smiles at me then looks to Al, "mind if I steal her from you?"

Al shakes his head, "not at all. I will catch up with you later Tris." As he walks away, Tobias intertwines his fingers with mine. He tugs on my hand, drawing me closer and leads me down a set of twists and turns to a small corner hidden from view.

"What'd you need Tobias?" I twist the collar of his shirt between my fingers, "your hair is getting a little long." As a matter of fact it's the longest I've ever seen it, but it makes him look like he belongs here. Tobias belongs in Dauntless, that much is clear to me now.

"Want me to cut it, Tris?" I love how I can hear Tobias' smile in his voice. He sets his hands on my hips and brings me closer. Lately I've grown paranoid of the girls here, unsure if they are drawn to Tobias like I was, or maybe if they are intrigued by his new look. What if I'm not good enough any more? The girls here in Dauntless and Candor are prettier than me, taller, they look more like women than I do or ever will.

Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I look up. My stare is as flirtatious as I can manage as I flip a lock of hair, "I like it longer. It makes you look..._ Dauntless."_ I wink at him but break into a grin as Tobias chuckles under his breath. "What's so funny?"

Tobias eyes meet mine, "it's not often that you are so...forward. I like it, though. Seeing the more Dauntless side of you. I pulled you here for a reason though." His face grows grim as he runs his hand through his hair. "The Candor want to speak with Zeke and I, since we represent our factions. We think they are going to ask us to leave, we present too much of a danger. While we are in the meeting I need you and my sister to find as much information as you can about the movements of the Traitor Dauntless. We think they will be the ones to try and track us down. Erudite isn't stupid enough to send one of their own to come directly here to locate the Divergent and surviving Aabnegation."

"Of course," I nod. "When is the meeting?"

Tobias jams his thumbs into his pockets, "couple of hours. I have to meet with Zeke in a few minutes, I don't know when I'll see you again today. Just find out whatever you can, eavesdrop, talk, figure out who knows what. We need as much information as possible by tomorrow morning, the Candor are going to double cross us and we need to know who we can trust."

"How do you know?" I ask.

"The Candor already are discontent with our presence here, ties between Dauntless and Candor have never been strong. Besides, Candor doesn't care about anyone but themselves. Right now Erudite holds the power in the Faction system, so Candor will sell us out if it means their own safety."

A few people approach our corner, "I should go." I stand on my tiptoes and kiss Tobias, "see you tomorrow."

_{Line Break}_

My footsteps are hurried and rushed, I pass Sunny and grab her arm, dragging her to the area Candor assigned us to sleep in. "Tris? Tris...Tris! "

"Hm?" I turn my head, "sorry, just hold on." Where am I supposed to find information? No one here still has ties to the traitor Dauntless. People stare at me, but I'm too focused to care. With one glance around the area I find its too packed with people, we can't speak here. I change direction and pulls her down a row of stairs and out behind the building. "We need to talk, Sunny."

"About?"

I chew at my lip, "Tobias asked us to do him a favor."

"Which is?" She hops from foot to foot and peers at our surroundings. "Is it just for you and I?"

"Yeah, we need to find out what connections everyone has to the Traitor Dauntless. Tobias wants to know who he can trust. " She has changed so much in such a short time. She's stronger, her face a sun-kissed tan from Amity, hair warm blonde instead of the milky color it once was. Despite all the changes, she is still as sweet as the day I met her. I smile at her, "how are you liking it here? "

Sunny shrugs, "everyone is different. This life that we're living now is dangerous. And that's terrifying and exciting all at once, does that make any sense? "

"More than you could imagine, Sunny." A door opens from the back of the building, both Sunny and I jump to the sound. Uriah doesn't flash his usual bright smile or even say hello. His eyes are heavy, lips pressed in a firm line, Uriah crosses his arms and keeps his fists clenched. "Something wrong?"

"Do you know about this meeting between Zeke and Candor? " He takes our silence as answer and plunge ahead. "It's pointless. I mean everyone knows the Candor don't want us here. Which is why I'm here. I need to know if you and Sunny are coming tonight? "

"Coming to what?" I ask.

"Well that explains why I never got an answer." Uriah's eyebrows shoot up, "Marlene must have forgotten to tell you. There are a few of us meeting tonight to discuss trying to get back to Dauntless. "

"And Zeke and my brother don't know about this?" Sunny questions.

"No, they are handling things diplomatically, we are handling things Dauntlessly. So are you in or out?"

I glance between Sunny and Uriah, "yeah we'll be there." Uriah nods and leaves us alone while I turn to Sunny, "we might find some information. Besides, Uriah is my brother. I can't ignore this."

"But so is Zeke and Tobias is your boyfriend. I don't want to take sides, neither should you. "

"We aren't, we are just making everyone happy." I sigh and look to the sky that's turning into a warm milky orange color. We will need to kill an hour before the meeting with Uriah, "Sunny I was hoping you could help me with something. " I pull her with me to the bathroom ignoring the scrutinizing looks I'm receiving. I hand her the pair if scissors I snagged on the way. "Cut it. "

"What?"

"Come on now," I smile, "you heard me. Cut it. Keep it off my neck and out of my eyes. "

Sunny stares at me, "you won't be able to put it in a bun for a very long time."

"I know, it's about time I stopped pretending to be something I'm not. " My fingers trap a lose strand of hair, "go on cut it."

Sunny takes a deep breath and pulls my hair lose from the ponytail I had it in. Carefully she pick up a chunk and snips at it with the scissors, Sunny winces as it falls to the ground. "It's a lot like cutting my hair at home, Tris."

"Good, it should be easy to chop it all off then." I close my eyes as I listen to the steady clips of the scissors and occasional gasps from Sunny. Doors open and close, voices come and go, but I stay focused on the weight that falls from my shoulders with each lock of hair that is cut. Once she's done I open my eyes with a broad smile, I feel so free, weightless, even. My dull blonde hair sits in a ring on the black and white checkered floors. The back of my hair barely brushes the nape of my neck, the front of my hair sitting along my forehead. "What are these?" I twist the hair on my forehead.

"I don't know a Candor girl walked in here and had them. Do you like it? "

"Yes, I do. Thank you Sunny." I glance at the click over a mirror, "let's head to meet Uriah."

The building is dark, but the footsteps of many of the Dauntless vibrate above us. Marlene smiles and walks beside me while Uriah passes me a knife, "what's this for? "

"Just to be safe. This is a secret meeting, one the Candor would not be pleased to hear of. Besides, wouldn't be very Dauntless of we didn't plan for a fight. " Uriah smiles and hands Sunny a knife too. We follow him up the steps to find a small group of people talking together. Uriah stands next to the window, "thanks for being here everyone. As you know, I called this meeting because we don't belong here. We need to get back home, to Dauntless, where we belong."

"Then why are _they _here?" A voice states.

I clear my throat, "why are _you _here?" My back straightens as I take a step towards the voice belonging to a tall girl with crooked teeth and a large nose. "You have no right to question me or her. So just shut up and let Uriah finish."

"Are you asking for a fight Stiff?"

"Well," I clench my jaw and ballmy fists, "if that's what it takes... By the way the name's Tris not Stiff." As I prepare to fight this girl, a blue beam flashes through the window hitting Sunny in the shoulder knocking her to the ground. I run to her as a small canister flies in sending more shattered glass across the floor. Grey smoke shoots out each end, everyone starts coughing as another canister flies through. Sunny stops coughing, going unconscious as other bodies hit the floor. The smoke swirls around me blocking my view while footsteps thunder from below. Why am I still awake? The smoke must only affect non-Divergents, Uriah sits down beside me moving his hand back and forth to wipe away smoke.

The footsteps get louder, "Tris, we need to pretend to be unconscious too." The door opens and I can hear yelling, they check to see that everyone is knocked out. I slump down as they near me and shut my eyes slow my breathing. A couple of the Traitor Dauntless fall over from some of the gas exposure which results in some insults from their leader. One of them fall over a few paces from me, I wait for the right opportunity to present itself. It only takes a few moments before I see my opportunity, I quickly put on the jacket of the traitor Dauntless and slip the gun into the waistband of my pants, I kneel beside Uriah, "come on."

The Traitor Dauntless drag a kid from us, who tried to be asleep but must have given himself away some how. "Come on, be my prisoner." Uriah sighs and plays along with my facade. They pull the boy down the stairs and I follow close behind with Uriah in tow. Their leader, who everyone has been calling Eric, has us set the prisoners in a hallway. There are a larger number of Divergents than I expected, Eric looks over each one and looks at the shaking little boy next to Uriah.

"You, get up." Eric's voice is gruff, his hair dark and greasy as he scratched behind his ear. The boy warily stands as Eric pulls his gun out and presses it to the boys temple, my heart jumps into my throat. Eric's smile makes me nauseous, the bullet clicks into place and I fInd the knife in my pocket. I take one breath before I launch my knife into Eric's chest, he falls back and the gun clatters to the floor. I pull the gun from my waistband and aim it at Eric. The other Traitor Dauntless begin to scatter as Uriah and a few other Divergent pull their weapons. Eric snickers at me, the rings in his eyebrows and lips being stretched and contorted making me wince. "What are you waiting for, just shoot me."

The gun begins to shake in my hand, I can't do it, what would my mother think? Uriah sees my resolve waver and knocks Eric across the back of the head, making his eyes roll back and his head bob forward. "Come on Tris." Uriah and I drag Eric down the steps of the building to find tons of people lying on the ground, passed out.

Tobias runs towards me, "Tris!" He sees my newly cut hair, but seems better of making a comment about it given the circumstances.

"Were fine. I need you to help Uriah and I move this guy, Eric, to the infirmary area."

"What happneed to him?" Tobias asks, staring at the pool of blood forming on Eric's shirt.

Uriah grins, "Tris happened."

Tobias stares at me and takes Eric's other arm from me, "you and Uriah go find anyone else awake and get them inside. Do you have a weapon?"

I nod and pull my stolen gun out while Uriah takes one from his waistband. We head out to find that everyone knocked unconscious has a small disk in their shoulders, blue die around the edges. I look at Uriah, 'check my shoulder?"

Uriah looks at me, "you have one. Do you know what it is?"

"No clue." I look over at Uriah, "you have one too. Want me to try and take it out?"

"Sure." Uriah lifts his shirt and I wipe my knife on my jeans before sliding the flat edge under the disc and prying it off. I twist the disc in my hand and look at the needle sticking out the middle. "Any ideas, Tris?"

"There's a needle."

He nods, "yeah. You think it has something to do with simulation serum?"

"If it does then..." My eyes widen, "that means Jeanine has wired everyone with a disc in their shoulder for a simulation. You don't think she can control them from here do you?" The look on Uriah's face answers my question. "Good point, Uriah, that is totally what she could do. Do you think she will try to attack again?"

Uriah shrugs, "who knows? I think she will be after the Divergent. Think about it, we are the only ones who will resist her serum, who are the free thinkers. She is going to want us dead, or she is going to find a serum that will control us."

The more I mull over what Uriah says the sicker I feel/

.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 25**

I walk to my cot sore from the disc that was pulled out of my skin, my arms throbbing from prying discs out of every one else's shoulders. Will Jeanine try to control everyone soon? Will it have any affect on the Divergents? My thoughts come to a halt as Christina crashes beside me along with Marlene and Sunny. Marlene starts picking at her nails while Sunny continuously braids and unbraids her hair, Christina is the first to speak up. "New hair, Tris?"

"Yeah," I twist at the stray pieces by my neck, "how is it?"

She flips the hair laying over my forehead, "the bangs are a nice touch. "

"Bangs?"

"Mhm, that's what its called." Christina laughs, "the hair on your forehead, the word for that is bangs. Who cut it?"

"Oh. Sunny did, she saw some Candor with them and thought they would looks nice." Christina nods as we fall into silence, I clear my throat, "anyone else hungry?"

Marlene smiles so big I can see all her teeth, "starved. Come on, I could eat anything. We should leave now, if we want seconds." She pulls me up and drags us with her. I glance out the windows linning Candor to see the lights of Erudite shining brightly against the pitch black darkness of the sky. Where would I be if this has never happened?

I wouldn't have these friends or this freedom... but my mother would be alive, my home would be intact, my people would be safe.

How strange, I have gotten the life I came of, but traded so much to have it. Marlene's laughter bubbles into my thoughts, I shake my head slightly and focus on my friends who are not thinking nearly as seriously as I. Sunny pops up beside me, "what'cha thinking about?"

"Just life, mainly." I say.

Sunny frowns, "I know I understand... I've been thinking about it too, it's not fair, you know? We finally get the freedom we've wanted, but we have given up everything else to have it."

I break her gaze as Marlene turns into the makeshift lunch room Candor has been feeding us in. Dauntless and Candor mingle together with the aroma of dinner making my head spin. I can't think of the last time I ate today. I focus back on Sunny who hasn't answered me yet, but is chewing at her lip. "Did you always want a different life, Sunny? Like me? "

"No, I was happy in Abnegation, until the Choosing Ceremony. When Robert left, I...I questioned everything about my faction. But by then it was too late to change my mind, my palm had been cut and my blood had fallen into Abnegation's bowl. And then...when I got my assignment to work at the volunteer agency it finally clicked." Sunny grabs a plate and hands me one.

"Thank you," I pass her a bottle of juice and smile, "what clicked?"

Sunny nods her thanks, our transactions are still very Abnegation. She moves to the food and takes a slow breath, "I was working canning food for the factjobless, and I was all alone since the others had gone to give out some supplies. And it dawned on me, clicked in my head, that I didn't want to do this for the rest of my life. I didn't want to spend my years just canning food and sewing socks for the people who live on the streets. I chastised myself for being so self-obsorbed. It is a noble purpose we have in Abnegation, to give of ourselves in order to help others, but it is not one I wanted. I wasn't proud of the life I would have in Abnegation, it would be quiet and simple, quite boring. So when my parents died in the attack and your father, who has become a father to me, helped guide me to Amity with other Abnegation who survived I had some hope. I met Robert there, but he was distant and once I found out why, things changed in my mind. I allowed myself to think selfishly for once. When you and the others came to Amity I knew that this would be my only chance to leave and actually become something I was proud of."

"You should be proud of yourself. You deserve it, a life you can be proud of. You've earned it." I look down at my full plate and sit between Sunny and Marlene. Marlene flips her hair and looks over at me, "what?"

"You're kind of awesome Tris, I thought you should know that."

I raise my eyebrows, "oh?"

Marlene nods and laughs, "even Lynn thinks you're alright which means a lot, trust me." She waves over Lynn and a small little boy that brings a softer and gentler smile to Lynn's face. "That's Lynn's little brother Hector. He's as sweet as me."

Hector sits beside his sister and waves an adorably enthusiastic hello, while tugging on his sisters jacket and talking about food. Uriah pops up from behind him and throws him over his shoulder, Lynn rolls her eyes before sitting down across from us and tossing a glare to me. "Mar, Tris, Sunny." Lynn hasn't ever been one for a more personable hello.

"Hey, Lynn. Your brother is adorable." I say, hoping to get something except a snarl from her. I think I succeeded because she smiles the slightest, before wiping it back into a mild glare. With a sigh of defeat I turn to Marlene, "so how are you and Uriah?"

Christina gasps from the other end of the table, her curly brown hair and round eyes flying out of nowhere. "Tris, are you attempting to be a girl!"

I cross my arms, "I am a girl, Christina."

"No," she shakes her head, "are you attempting girl talk?" She squeals and sits on the table setting herolate into her lap and staring at me, "I can't miss this. Please continue your conversation."

Marlene laughs and peers between Christina and I before answering. "Well, things are good I guess. I mean things are kind of hectic and all, but he still manages to be sweet and romantic in his own weird way...Like he always does this cute smile where-" She rambles then giggles and Lynn and Sunny both roll their eyes, while I try not to join them. Do I sound so love-sick when I tall about my relationship with Tobias? Marlene continues while I zone her out.

I eat dinner with a mix of laughter and silence, its free and loud and comfortable and it just feels right. A hand on my shoulder however breaks my light mood. Tobias looks down on me with his grim frown, "is everything okay?" I stand from my seat as Sunny stands too.

"Is something wrong?" She asks.

Tobias looks at her and shakes his head slightly, "nothing that concerns you, sis. Its just some stuff regarding the Dauntless traitors that Tris and I need to handle. Tris come with me?" Its phrased as a question but its more of a command, I can tell by his quiet words he's stressed.

"Yeah." I take his hand and follow him out to one of the open balconies off the building. "What's up?"

"The man you stabbed, Eric, has woken up. Now its being deliberated by the leadersof Dauntless behind the backs of the Candor. We think the Candor are going to let him go to avoid Erudite attacking or using the simulation. Dauntless is going to decide his fate by the standards of their faction and act before Candor can stop us."

"What does this have to do with me?"

He takes my other hand, "because you stabbed him, they might question you. Candor and the Dauntless leaders, okay? I want you to be aware of that."

I nod, "alright." I wrap my arms around him and rest my chin against his shoulder, "its been a while since I have gotten to just be near you." I attempt to take his mind off of whatever is stressing him out, since it has to be more than just this.

"I know," he begins to relax and I can sense the tension he feels ebbing away. "I love you, I hope you know that."

"Of course I know that. I love you too." We stand there, the cool wind blowing against my neck. It is so much nicer short like this. "You like it? My hair?"

"Yeah," he twists a lock of hair, "it suits you. You look like Tris now. Like you aren't Abnegation anymore."

My eyes meet his, "is that good?"

"Honestly, it is. I get to see you as you are, comfortable and happy with yourself. You're the most beautiful when you're confident, Tris." He presses a kiss to my lips and sets his chin on the top of my head, "things will get better."

"I know. I trust you."

**Line Break**

I haven't been questioned yet, although the silence for the past few days makes me weary. Candor, Dauntless, and Erudite haven't done or said anything, that's enough to put anyone on edge. After a full day of training and running errands for Tobias and Zeke, I pass out into slumber before I can even say goodnight to anyone.

A small thud brings me back into reality. I turn and try to fall back into sleep.

Another thud makes me blink but I see nothing but the wall in front of me. It must be Tobias getting back from his meetings with Zeke and the other leaders. However when I look over a small figure is just standing across the hall, they must be going to the bathroom. I shut my eyes yet again.

Footsteps wake me, "really? I'm exhausted-" I slowly peek open one eye to see Sunny, Marlene, and Lynn's brother Hector walking up the stairs. "What's going on?"

No one responds, which irritates me even more as they continue to walk to the end of the hall. Something is wrong. I grab Christina's arm after pulling myself up, since she's the lightest sleeper out of the group of us, "Christina! Wake up."

Christina groans and looks up at me, before looking at the three people walking towards the roof, "what are they doing?"

"Don't know, come on Christina." We follow the three of them to the windy roof, "Marlene? What's going on? Sunny? Hector?" My hair blows back and I'm glad I cut the length or else it would obscure my view. As a gust of wind drowns out my words, I try to get closer and scream their names.

No one responds to me, I run in front of Sunny to see the glazed over look in her eyes, its one I saw in the Dauntless who were in simulation during the attack on my home. I gasp as Sunny maneuvers away and walks with Marlene to the edge of the roof. Marlene turns to face us, she begins to speak...but its not really Marlene, not exactly."If the Divergents do not hand themselves over to the Erudite, every two days one will be sacrificed." Marlene turns to the ledge and steps forward along with Hector and Sunny.

I try to approach slowly but with each step they shift closer to the edge. This is why Erudite has been so quiet lately, they were planning this.

There's two of us, three of them. I can only save two. My eyes dart between the three of them, "we have to save Hector, Lynn wouldn't survive without her brother." I say to Christina who slowly approaches the small boy. And Sunny, the abnegation in her would want me to save Marlene, but would Tobias be able to accept his only, and recently decided, family's death? The seconds are ticking away. I reach for both Marlene and Sunny hoping to save them both while Christina grabs Hector. My hands curl around the arms of both girls, I try to pull them closer to the ledge but I can't. Sunny isn't strong enough to fight back, but Marlene has much more muscle than me. Marlene twists her arm out of my grip with ease. I fall back from the ledge with Sunny landing beside me, her eyes beginning to lose their glazed over look. I run to the ledge screaming with all I have in me, hoping to slow her down or something. I look over in enough time to watch her hit the ground. I stare at the halo of blood around her head, the deafening sound of flesh hitting pavement ringing in my ears. Christina gasps beside me and I turn away with tears cupping over my eyelids and falling down my cheeks. Marlene is dead. What am I supposed to do? Who do you call when your friend just jumped off the roof?At the command of a woman who wants you dead, no less?

Sunny groans and sits up, rubbing her head and shoulder, "where-" her words are caught in her throat, "it wasn't a dream?" She looks at the roof and the night sky. Tears shine from her eyes, "please tell me it wasn't real?"

Christina barely shakes her head, its enough to send Sunny into shock. She sits there staring at the ledge that once held Marlene. I pull her up and drag her back down the stairs while Christina takes Hector. The Abnegation in me, making me be strong for Sunny. Everyone must've woken from all the commotion, people stand at the windows pointing below, some cry, some stare, others argue. But I can't hear any of it.

The Divergents?

That's me, that's Tobais, that's Uriah, and I don't even know who else or how many of us that means. What am I supposed to do?

Pounding footsteps vibrate to me, I look upon to see Tobias, "what," he catches his breath, "happened?"

It only takes those two words for me to tell my story in the midst of tears that are coming hot and fast. Tobias stares at me, "my sister?"

"She was the weaker of the two, I was able to save her. Marlene, she was too strong for me. I-I tried, I really did, Tobias."

He nods and wipes my tears, "you sit here with Christina okay? I'm going to check on my sister alright?" He leaves me with a simple kiss and disappears to the shocked and shaking frame of what was once Susan Black, however I only see Sunny now. Who is fighting to stay brave in the midst of fear.

I nod and force myself to stop crying in order to comfrot a sobbing Hector. Confused and scared, I kneel in front of him and brush the hair out of his eyes. "Hey, Hector."

"Hi." She wiles his nose and sniffs. "Where is my sister?"

"Lynn, she is coming right now. I promise, are you hungry or do you need anything?"

Hector shrugs, "I just want my sister. Is Marlene going to be okay?" He sniffles again, "she is my sister's best friend in the whole wide world."

I swallow the tears rising into my throat. "Do you have a best friend?"

He nods, "yup, his name is Johnny, but we call him Jay. He is my best friend, we play in the Pit and we eat ice cream and cake every Friday if we eat all our vegetables." He smiles and looks around the ha!l packed with people, "where is my sister again?"

"Coming like I said." I take his hand, "why don't we go walk around and see if we find her okay?" I take Hector's hand and walk through the crowd, passing by the confused faces and sounds of cries. Everyone knew Marlene, she was a friend to nearly everyone she met. We pass Uriah who has hidden his face from view and Zeke who is talking with him. We pass a few others, and I search fervently for the shaved head of Lynn. It takes me nar!y ten minutes before I find her sitting alone with tears streaking her face, saving trails of black mascara against her skin down to her chin.

She lifts her head, "Hector? Tris?" She pulls her brother into her arms and kisses his cheek and forehead about eight times before looking him over, "you're okay?"

Hector nods, "yeah, I'm Dauntless remember?"

"Yeah," Lynn smiles, "I remember." She taps his chin and looks up to me, "thanks, Tris... For everything."

I open my mouth and sigh, "I should have done more. Tried something."

Lynn frowns, "wasn't much to be done. Hector and I are going to head off to sleep, or at least attempt to. I'll see you around. 'Kay?"

"Yeah," I walk away but spin back on my heel, "if you ever need to talk or anything..." the words die on my lips as I see the smallest of smiles on Lynn's face.

She nods, "I know, Stiff. You're here." She picks her brother up and disappears down the hall. The walk to my cot is lighter, I don't feel as many emotions, maybe I'm going numb. Too many things to process so I just let it all melt into a dull pounding of pain. I am not going to sleep tonight, maybe not for many nights. I sit next to Tobias who is staring at his hands.

He looks t me and puts his arm around my shoulders, "hey."

"Hey. How's Sunny?"

"As good as can be, I guess. She stopped crying when she saw Uriah. She's an Abnegation that way."

I nod, "what way?"

"She's like you. I have a theory that bravery and selflessness aren't all that different. We are most brave when we need to be selfless. She should be crying and borderline hysterical. She had her mind taken over, watched her friend...and yet there she is. Comforting someone else. Its an Abnegation trait. It takes bravery to put aside your needs for another." He looks at me, "it takes bravery to do what you did."

"I don't feel very selfless or brave." I say.

"You tried to do the impossible and beat the odds, that kind of risk took bravery." Tobias squeezes my shoulder, "why don't you lie down okay?"

I nod and pull the scratchy blanket overy my shoulder, my eyes trained on the cot that will forever be empty now. "Don't leave?"

"I wouldn't ever leave you, Beatrice Prior."


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys this is just a quick filler chapter to help progress our story along. I have found a more efficient way to update my account from my tablet, so updates will be regular once again. Sorry guys for the long wait just be patient with me. I get to see Insurgent tomorrow so freaking excited guys. Fangirling so hard! Enjoy the chapter and as always comments, questions, concerns, or suggestions are always open to me. I will respond as soon as possible, also guys if you want to send me your email, you have to space it out like this or else it doesn't appear: email email .com -You have to space it out, I have had a few people try to give me their email in other ztories and it hasn't worked so try it like this. Thanks! **

Chapter 25

On days like today I find myself on the roof. On days when all I can see is her face every time I blink, when all I can hear is the sound of her body slamming into the pavement below. On those days I wind up here, laying on my back, with one arm and leg dangling over the side of the edge of the bulding. Half of me safe from falling, the other half hanging precariously over the edge. I lay somewhere between life and death, between Marlene being here and her being gone. The wind presses my shirt to me and slowly my eyes open to the clear blue sky above me.

To be honest, I wasn't best friends with Marlene. I wasn't even that close to her. But she was one of a few friends I have ever had. Someone clears their throat and I barely tip my head to the side, "hm?"

"Tris, while I applaud how Dauntless this is, it isn't very healthy."

I roll my eyes, "Sunny, in comparison to the things you have done in the past three weeks I think I am much healthier than you are." There was a time when I would never dream of saying something like that to Susan. And there was a time when she would have been shocked, even hurt at my accusation. Now though, we no longer handle things so delicately. Now we no longer care.

She sits against the parapet and rolls her eyes back to me, "am I dead, yet?"

"No."

"Then it's not a problem." Sunny plays with the end of her hair. "How did we get so jaded, Tris?"

"Doesn't matter. It's what we are now..." I pull myself back onto the safety of the roof and sit beside her. "You know, I should probably talk to you about your behavior and try to talk some sense into you. Tell you to remember where you came from."

"I would just roll my eyes, tell you to mind your own business, and ask you if you're hungry." Sunny smirks and closes her eyes.

I nod, "to which I say I am hungry. And when Tobias asks later if I talked to you, I have an answer."

"And when Tobias asks if you talked some sense into me, I will have an answer." Sunny pulls herself up and offers a hand. I swat it away and bring myself up. "I'm thinking that if we ever get to go to Dauntless, I am going to get my nose pierced." We walk down the stairs of the roof and run through the hallways that twist and wind through Candor. I brush past a few of the Dauntless I have become friends with, but they do little to acknowledge me. Sunny and I stand in line to get a grey mush slammed onto our plate, the Candor have ceased to care about the level of food we are fed. It has become one of the reasons why the Dauntless are eager to leave Candor, among other things. A hand slinks around my waist and pulls me to the side, "Tris?"

I look up into his deep blue pair of eyes, "mhm."

"Look, Dauntless is talking about leaving for the compound soon. We have to take care of the Dauntless traitors still in the infirmary, but after that we are leaving. Candor is increasing their communication with Jeanine. We think they are preparing to give us up to the Erudite if it means saving their skin. Tonight, one of the Candor representantives is supposed to meet with Max, one of the former leaders of Dauntless. I want you, Christina, and Uriah to watch from above. Take Sunny with you, but keep her in check. Zeke, Shauna, and I will be watching at a closer distance. I want you focused on anything that Erudite might try to sneak in while Candor is focused on this meeting. Tonight at eight, roof."

Sunny cuts inbetween us, "where are we meeting at eight?"

Tobias smiles, "Tris will fill you in. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I guess." She brushes the comment aside and falls into a seat next to Uriah. Tobias slowly scowls and looks down to me. I can read the worry in his eyes, however he doesn't say anything to me. After a brief moment of silence and a kiss on the cheek Tobias leaves to handle some other Dauntless affairs.

(Line Break)

Wedged between Uriah and Christina I press the binoculars to my eyes. A lone Candor leader stands along a bridge waiting patiently for this Max to come. A tall figure in black approaches the Candor as Will snatches the binoculars out of my hands, "Max doesn't look himself."

"Really?" Sunny pulls them from Will's hands, "if that's him on a bad day, I don't want to know what he looks like on a good day."

Everyone snickers and quiets down as the Candor man begins to speak. This is actually really boring, I imagined stake outs being more...fast paced? Dangerous? Perhaps even suspenseful? "I can't hear anything," Sunny moves a few paces closer. Uriah elbows me and points to Max. I focus my attention of the former Dauntless leader's rigid and tense posture. Out of my curiosity I somehow snatch the binoculars back and stare at Max.

"I think he's under simulation, guys." I point ahead, "look his eyes are glazed over and his lips are moving in a wierd way."

Uriah leans forward, "I think maybe you're right. I think Will was onto something, Max doesn't seem hims-...Where did she go this time?"

"What?" I look behind me as a frown settles on my face, "oh that's just great." Sunny is gone. I had one job. I had one fricking job and I screwed that up. I slip the gun into one of the belt loops of my pants, "Uriah, come with. You three stay here."

Uriah and I follow after the glint of blond hair through the bushes. "Why does she think she can ust slink off like this? Tris, I can put up with all the late night dares, but running ahead into enemy territory? What is she thinking?" His rant dies down as we appraoch her.

Sunny crouches a small distance from Max and looks behind her to see us. She casts a wicked grin and motions us over. "You can hear better here."

Max's speech seems delayed as his lips move, "we demand that Dauntless leader Eric is released, we demand that all Divergents in your custody are handed over, and we want a list of those who no did not get punctured by our serum needles."

The Candor considers this slowly, I reach for the binoculars and try to find where the Erudite who are controlling Max are hiding. I lose focus as a loud popping noise accompanied by a crowd of birds flying into the distance gathers my Candor gasps but Max seems unfazed despite the hole through his chest. Blood pools from the area and drenches his shirt. Four figures take off in a sprint as the footsteps of traitor Dauntless approach, it only takes me a breath to follow their lead. Bullets whir past me and loge themselves into nearby walls and sidewalk beneath me. I keep my pace until a scream from my left slows me down, I watch Shauna collapse on the ground with red staining the pavement.

Flashes of my mother pound my skull.

_Everything is happening at once, the screaming pounding into my ears, the gunshots blurring together. My mother, the Dauntless, more gunshots are fired, screams, deafening screams. I begin to let out my own scream, to mix with the others and melt into the air. Tobias hand covers my mouth as I cry and thrash out._

_A blur of red. I watch her frame covered in a blur of red, her knees sinking into the pavement. Her head slamming into the ground, a sea of crimson consuming her body._

_She can't be dead. I have to help her, if I get there fast enough I can save her. I kick against the solid body holding me back and dragging me away. I let out a muffled yell and soon tears blur my sight and I go still. The strength that was just forcing me to fight has drained from me, like my mother's blood._

I shake my head, I couldn't save my mother, but I can save Shauna. I pull her up into my arms as Zeke runs beside me and takes her legs. Tobias starts to shoot at the Dauntless trailing behiind us. "Sunny go ahead and get a nurse! Uriah help cover us."

Bullets fly back and forth as we carry Shauna inside, her screams piercing the air around us. I focus ahead, on Shauna, and let everything else fade out.

...

"Who shot Max?" I ask.

Sunny and Uriah shake their heads. Tobias frowns, "wasn't me either. Zeke?"

Zeke barely shakes his head, all eyes flick to Lynn. She gives us a sheepish grin, "I'm a good shot, huh?" Her joke falls flat as we wait for news on Shauna's condition.

My leg keeps shaking, I can't seem to control it. Zeke holds his head in his hands while Tobias paces in front of us. A nurser clad in black scrubs and a white stethescope, "are you all here for Shauna?"

All eight of us stand, "yes we are." I don't know which one of us said this, but I'm grateful to who got their mouth and mind to work together.

"Follow me, she is unconscious right now, however she should wake up soon. We removed the bullet from her back...I know this is going to be hard for you especially as Dauntless, but Shauna will not be able to walk. At least not with our technology here in Candor. She will be paralyzed, unable to walk, run, or do anything else requiring the use of her legs."

Sunny nods, "thank you. Can we see her now?"

The nurse nods and opens the door to the infirmary, Shauna lays bandaged together in a bed, her eyes flutter open slightly before falling closed again. Zeke settles into the chair beside her bed and takes her hand, "you guys can go. I can watch over her." No one moves until Tobias pats Zeke on the back and leaves, slowly we all file out leaving the two of them alone. Tobias and Will head to speak with Tori while Christina and Lynn head to bed.

The last three of us walk through the hallway until Uriah pulls Sunny aside, "what were you thinking?"

"Uriah, I'm tired-"

"No, Susan. What were you thinking? Sneaking off like that?" Uriah clenches his fists.

"Don't call me that! My name is Sunny. And you have no right to question me. I'm alive, right? You two caught up with me!"

Uriah frowns, "no. If you want to be stupid that's your choice, but don't expect me to be there for your funeral." Uriah stalks off down the hall. Sunny kicks the wall beside her and goes in the opposite direction. I stand there for a moment and head towards Uriah wondering how in the world things got so complicated.


	26. Chapter 26

**OKAY...Sorry for the wait, but I have been having an unusually hard time deciding how to word these next few chapters. So thank you all for your patience. I have been thinking alot about my sub plots and about my characters and for your patience i will let you have a small surprise that may not be repeated ever again. Limited time only. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 26 **

Tobias and I walk towards the room that Shauna is sleeping in. His hands are rough and scarred from all the fights that began after Shauna's injury and the Erudite attacks. We weren't ever looking for the fight, but they seem to be coming to us anyway. It seems like everyone is one edge and one glance or careless word is getting everyone into trouble, it won't be long until Candor asks us to leave. The Dauntless are getting restless here, Candor is treating us with more contempt and no one knows what move to make. Tobias scowls at the space ahead of him, "Tobias?"

He looks down and his eyes soften the slightest, "yes." His hair is longer than i have ever seen it, the back of his neck covered by soft curls that brush along his shirt collar. It makes him look wild and dangerous, two words I wouldn't use to describe Tobias if we were still in Abnegation. I used to cosnider him unpredictable, however I have grown smarter. The look in his eye that I can never quite place is not uncertainty, rather it is bravery. Granted a darker and more violent kind of bravery, but bravery none the less. He peers at me and I realize I have taken too long to answer.

"Do you have a plan?" I twist a lock of hair back behind my ear. "For Sunny and I, are we going to stay with the Dauntless or return to the Factionless?" The thoughts of returning to Evelyn makes my head throb with powerful laps of anger.

Tobias scowl only deepens, "honestly, I think we are going to end up with the Dauntless. Evelyn can't be trusted right now, her own politcal agenda has nothing to do with Erudite or what they have done to Abnegation. For Evelyn, this entire attack is just a well-timed window for her to gain control of the people..." Tobias stops short of Shauna's door and takes both my hands in his, "Tris, they want me to be present for the sentencing of the traitor Dauntless and the leader we captured."

"The one I stabbed?" The thought of me plunging my knife into someone else would have seemed so ridiculous just months ago. As a matter of fact, if anyone had told me that this would be my life right now I would have laughed in their faces. Laughter, the word sounds so...strange in my mind. Its too bad I don't laugh too often anymore, I could use it.

Tobias nods, "yes, Eric." He lets go of my hands and rubs his palms against his jeans, "Tris, according to Dauntless law a traitor in this kind of degree would be executed." He takes a slow breath, "I'm not sure if I am ready to be a part of that."

"But you shot that boy when we were saving Zeke from the simulation in Dauntless. Is it so different?" I ask, even though I know the answer. It is different, before this we were just children playing a part. Kids dressed up in adult clothing playing grown-up, it wasn't real yet. The death of our faction was real, even the actual simulation itself was real to us. But when it came to us actually pulling the trigger and watching our hands get covered in blood, we didn't really understand it. We know better now. When Tobias shot the boy in Dauntless, it was a reaction that had little thought. I barely remember his name. But we know Eric's name, we have seen him, interrigated him, and looked him in the eye.

"Yes, it is." Tobias tucks my hair back behind my ear and cups my cheek, "it's very different. But you knew that..." He lowers his voice and draws me close to him. Our lips barely a breath apart. "I'm scared Tris."

"Of seeing the execution..." I swallow a lump in my throat, "or that you will have to be the executioner?"

"Neither." Tobias lips brush against mine and I can feel his heart beating into my palm. "I''m not sure what scares me, but its not the act of justice. Eric deserves whatever punishment he will recieve for the countless lives he knowingly brought to an end."

I place my hand more firmly against his chest and look up into his eyes, "you're afraid you will hate the Dauntless? For the way they take vengence?"

Tobias stares back at me and takes in another slow breath, "no, I'm afraid I will love it."

My lips brush against his without hesitation. It is not a kiss full of passion, rather it is one of support. I understand Tobias's fear, I often find myself proud of a fight I've one or patting Sunny on the back for giving that girl who called her a'Stiff' a black eye instead of handling it with a selfless and respectful attitude. We are growing to love the very things we were raised to hate and to stand against. I pull away from Tobias and offer him a soft smile, "I love you, Tobias. Nothing else matters except that I am in love with you, Tobias Eaton."

Tobias kisses my temple, "we should relieve Zeke before he is too tired to get to his cot for some rest." We open the door to Shauna's room and find Zeke already passed out in his chair beside the bed, Tobias chuckles under his breath. "Zeke?" Zeke lays still and Tobias slings an arm around his back and pulls Zeke up. Tobias looks to me, "you think you can handle this while I clean him up? I," Tobias smells Zeke and cringes, "I'm going to need to get him to a shower, give him something to eat, and get him settled into bed. I might also have some extra errands to run to cover for Zeke's duties, will that be okay?"

I nod and plop into Shauna's chair, "hey, Shauna. It's me, Tris. Right now we are changing shifts, so I hope you don't mind thatI keep you company for a few hours. Zeke really needs a shower,so he won't be back for a while." Shauna doesn't open her eyes to look at me although, she slightly squeezes my hand. She's been sleeping a lot lately, which I would too if I had been paralyzed. Tobias disappears out the room with a half-asleep Zeke stumbling beside him, maybe in another time this would be a diferent scene. Maybe in a time were Tobias and I chose Dauntless, Tobias would be disappearing with a stumbling Zeke from the bar. The thought makes me laugh a little and Shauna smiles beside me. Maybe she knows what I'm thinking.

I take her hand and squeeze it, to remind her that I am here. After a few minutes she opens her eyes and yawns. "Tris?"

"Yes?" I brush some of her hair offer her forehead and give her a small smile.

Shauna gives me her own small smile back, "tell me about your life before?"

"Before?"

She nods, "before the attack? What were you and Tobias like? What were your futures going to be?"

I nod and think back to the life we had before, it seems so distant now. So far away, like it was some one else's life and not my own. "It all seems so far now, but we were normal quiet Abnegation. Our fathers worked together, so we grew up aorund the same people. We were never really devoted to being selfless, we sometimes did things like look in the mirror or climb the Ferris wheel. We even jumped on and off trains."

Shauna laughs a little at that, "I knew you were Dauntless deep down in there, it just took some freedom for it to come out."

"Ou rlives were simple, we lived across the street form each other. Our parents had given us their blessing."

Shauna's eyes widen,"you get married that young in Abnegation?"

"No," I shake my head, "in Abnegation, we do things just like you. There is courting and engagement and eventuaklly marriage. However, in Abnegation when a man offially courts a woman he must have the appproval of both of thier parents. Once that approval is given, couting can begin offically. When two people begin to offically court each other, however, it basically means he intends on marrying her. Very few courtshps end in a break up, most end in marrriage."

"Woah," Shauna giggles, something she never does so I am going to assume its the pain medication that is being pumpoed through her veins doing most of the talking. "Were you going to marry Tobias?"

I straighten my shoulders, "yes, I was. We were going to get married after a while and then be moved into a family home in a different secor of Abnegation...I...I wanted children. That was the life we had planned out, before the attack."

Shauna frowns, "I'm sorry, Tris."

I shake my head dismissiely, "don't be. There's nothing I can do to change it, besides I wouldn't have you and all my friends in Dauntless if it weren't for everything that has happened."

"But, Tris," Shauna licks her lips and stares at me unblinking. "Tris, you can have that still. You can still get married and have kids."

"I don't think so, Shauna. Our faction is gone."

"And which Faction is that?" Shauna shakes her head side to side, "the faction you chose may be gone, but the Faction that chose you is still here."

My brows knit together and I'm sure my confusion is written plainly on my face. "What are you saying?"

"Tris," she smiles, "you may have chosen Abnegation, but Dauntless has chosen you."

**Sunny POV**

The tips of my grey shoes look bright against the dark sky above me. There are no stars out tonight, the moon isn't even hanging in the sky to cast a shadow around me. I feel free at night. While Tris and Tobias are free to run around Candor to be leaders and mediators, I stay up here on this roof. I'm imprisoned here, every time I try to escape the chains tethering me to this wretched place yank me back. I even have the scars to prove it. They might not be visible but they're there, they have dug into my wrists and ankles, the shackles alone tearing through my tender skin. At night though, I can't see them. The shackles look more like elaborate jewelry than bonds to keep me anchored. In the darkness of the night sky I can't see the blood stain left from Marlene's body.

I was never particularly close to her, as a matter of fact, our friendship was one of circumstance. We happened to be at the same place at the same time and had the same friends. We were merely a product of our mutual need to stay rooted in our small clique. We weren't bound together by anything before the simulation that took her life. Except for him, we were destined to be tied together because of him.

He was so different from the world I knew. So opposite of my world, so colorful and fascinating. Sometimes, I want to run up to him and pull his face to mine and stare into those milky dark brown eyes and tell him I'm sorry for everything I've done. How I would trade everything for him to be happy. If I could go back and make Tris save her instead of me to see him smile I would. How I would rather see him happy with her, how I'd rather live my life alone and miserable for him. How I love him and yet I find myself pushing him away because I don't know how to show my emotions. I only know how to strangle them in selflessness or acts of stupidity, my cowardly attempt at bravery. "Sunny?" His voice is soft, a whisper.

I shut my eyes and will my voice to remain calm, "yup, that's me." I can feel his presence beside me. His breathing matches mine, it always has. "Are you here to yell at me again?"

"No." I''m glad for the moon's decision to run away tonight, I can't bear to see the pain in his eyes. The pain I caused.

I open my eyes and turn to stare at him, "oh?"

"Look, the decisions you've been making are tearing me apart inside." Uriah frowns and I can hear my heart snap. "Look, I know we aren't that close..."

I cut him off, "we aren't?" That wasn't meant to slip out, but it did. And my voice cracked, however he doesn't seem to catch on to my disappointment.

"Are we?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I don't really know anything anymore."

"Sunny, I yelled at you because I care about you. Don't you see how stupid you're acting, I know that what happened to Marlene really hurt you..." He keeps speaking but my mind is reeling. He honestly thinks I'm acting like this because of her. I'm sad, it's true, but its him that makes me crazy. It's him that drives me insane, drives me to prove that I can be Dauntless. I can be brave, granted I don't do it in the smartest ways but I try. I try to show him that I can fit into his world. I used to be normal, I used to think reasonably, but one day he smiled at me and his hand brushed mine and I fell into him. My heart was torn to shreds by Caleb, I didn't think I could ever be drawn to someone again. And then Uriah appears, always nice to me, always looking out for me, always being the man who was there when my brother and father and Caleb could not. Tobias tried to fill that void, to be there when I needed him too. But it wasn't the same. Watching everyone else be in love was almost as painful as watching Robert and Caleb let their blood splatter into a different bowl. Uriah's voice comes into focus as he says my name, "so Sunny, how do you feel about that?"

"Hm?" I look to the sky. It's quiet for a long time, long enough for me to feel his anger rising. He stands up and paces, he keeps questioning me and I keep responding with a shrug, maybe he will see that I don't want to talk and he will leave me alone. I always get irrational around him.

Uriah runs his hand over his forehead, "What is with you? Don't you have any feelings!" His tone is angry, irritated, pained.

I snap, "don't I have feelings? How dare you ask me that? I have too many feelings." I remain calm.

"You what?"

I have a choice to make as I stand tall. I can either run or face this. I can confess my feelings now and deal with the damage later. I decide for the first time in my life to be truly brave. "I have too many feelings Uriah. More than I know what to do with."

He nods, "and?"

"And they are driving me insane, okay? You're driving me insane!" I feel tears pool into my eyes.

"Me? How?" He sits on the ledge and frowns.

I wipe away the tears running down my cheeks, "everything about you drives me crazy, your laugh, your smile, your everything. You have no idea the power you have over me, its like you control me with just a word sometimes. If your goal was to come here to convince me to start sitting out all our missions and battles, fine you won. I can't fight you, I can't. I'm always fighting everyone else for your attention, just a few seconds Uriah. I don't need much, never have. I just need you to stay not to leave, to forgive me. Do you know how badly I want to make things right? I would rather live my life miserably and watch you be happy with someone else than for us to be like this. For me to be out there trying to prove myself while you have to keep scolding me, I don't want that."

Uriah stares at me, "what are you saying?"

"God, Uriah. I'm saying I...I don't know anymore. All I know is that I can't let you leave me, I can't okay? I have had too many people abandon me. Too many people decide I'm not worth staying for...So just...just go alright? Go like everyone else. I've made a mess of things, again. I keep doing that, I keep running off and saying things without thinking and it always ends me up here. On this roof. You always do this to me, I never make any sense around you. I can't figure out which emotions go where."

"Are you saying you have feeling for me?"

My eyes widen, "maybe I am. I'm not good at sharing my feelings. I...I am going to head to bed." I run to the door and head down the steps until Uriah tells me to stop. I turn to look at him with tears springing from me eyes.

"What happened to you? You were never like this?" He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, "what happened to you Susan?"

I look at the ground, "I got lost in the casualties. I went crazy, what do you want me to say? It all started to unravel when I watched my parents get gunned down in their front yard and a kind Dauntless boy with milky brown eyes told me go down the back alley by the canning center where the other Abnegation had fled."

Uriah's eyes widen, "I forgot about that. With all that's happened, I haven't really thought much about that night. That was you, Sunny?"

I nod, "I should go. Boys don't fall in love with poor, mad girls." I twist my arm out of his grasp and head to the cot where I cry myself to sleep for the third time this week.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Sunny POV

_The alley is dark, it should keep me hidden from view. My chest burns and I nearly cough on the tears in my throat, each part of my body shaking. Not to mention my mind is reeling, I feel dizzy from it all. I keep hearing my mother's screams, the look in her eyes begging me to stay hidden in the house. To keep me safe. My mother was selfless to the end, the thought makes me feel even guiltier. _

_I am not selfless, not like they were. _

_My eyes trail the edges of the alley, I slide down to the ground and grasp my bleeding arm. I rip some of the fabric from my pants and wrap it tightly around the wound, that should suffice for now. I stare at another source of blood, and bite my lip trying to tear a new piece of fabric. "You can do this," I whisper to myself, "you can make it out of this."_

_"First rule of hiding for your life, don't talk to yourself. It just makes you look crazy."_

_I freeze and slowly look up to see a tall figure standing in front of me. My jaw drops open and I can already feel the scream building in my throat, he forces his hand over my mouth. I squirm against his hold on my mouth before he takes his other arm and holds me still. I have to escape, there has to be a way out. I'm not ready to beg for my life, not ready to end up laying on the pavement like my parents. "Shut it, okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I am going to let go of you, but you have to promise not to scream. If you do, it won't be good. Clear?"_

_I nod slowly as he releases me from his grip. I crumble to my knees sobbing, begging him to leave me alone. I look up to see him waving his hands, "oh, sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out like that. Maybe I should have found a better way to get your attention."_

_That quiets my cries for a moment, he doesn't seem hostile. I pull myself together and tuck a lock of hair back, "what are you doing here? Are you one of them?"_

_"Them? I'm Dauntless, but I'm not under the simulation." He steps back into the small stream of light fading into the alley from the sky above. _

_"Simulation?" I swallow a lump in my throat and glance around to make sure no soldiers have found there way over here. _

_He nods, "yeah, the Dauntless who are doing this, they aren't in control. Someone else is. I'm headed to the Factionless, I was hoping you could point me in the right direction and I will give you something in return."_

_I narrow my eyes at those milky brown orbs staring back at me. "How do I know I can trust you?"_

_He cocks his head to the side and gives me a large smile, if this were another time I would find him cute. But this is not another time, this is now and I don't have time to think Dauntless boys are cuter than Abnegation boys. "You don't, but we need to help each other. I need to get to the Factionless for help to end this simulation. There might be some ex-Dauntless lurking in there ready for some payback. Aren't you a Stiff? Don't you want to help me?"_

_I scoff, "doesn't work like that." Actually it kind of does, but he doesn't need to know that. "What are you going to give me in return?"_

_His grin gets bigger, "atta-girl. You tell me where to go and I will tell you where its safe and where the other Stiffs are hiding."_

_"The others? More survived?" My chest is burning again, but this time it's burning with hope. "Deal." _

_"Great," he looks around, "so where am I going?" He slings his gun around his shoulder and I eye him carefully, angling my body to run if I have to. However, if he knows how to use that thing, I won't stand a chance anyway. _

_"Head down this alley, make a left at the Council Center, then a right by the faded red sign that reads STOP, keep going straight after that. You will come into the Factionless sector once you pass the first abandoned building. Be careful, there's a lot of broken glass."_

_He smiles, "thank you...Now the Abnegation who have escaped will be hiding in the Canning Center, wherever that is. I'm assuming you know, oh and I think the goal is to head to Amity after the Dauntless pull out." He takes my hand and I feel a blush on my cheeks, a boy has never held my hand before. He presses his lips to the back of my hand and winks, "pleasure meeting you." Before I can say a word he bolts around the corner of the alley leaving me breathless. _

"Sunny? Hey, Sunny wake up." I blink slowly before pulling a strand of hair from my mouth and glancing into the deep blue eyes that could only belong to Tobias. He smiles at me, even though I know he heard me crying all night. Right now I hate that I am only a few paces from his cot.

"Tobias, let me sleep." I pull the cover over my shoulder and face the wall. "Please?"

Tobias stares at me for a while, "Sunny, I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, okay?" A fly buzzes past my face and I scrunch up my nose, Tobias laughs and shakes my shoulder again. "Tobias, seriously, let me sleep."

"Let's talk first, then you can go back to bed, okay?" Tobias pulls me up and heads to the roof, my eternal prison cell. In the daylight the chains look like the restraints they are. "So I talked to Uriah this morning." Without even a glance I turn on my heel and begin to walk away, I am not talking about this. Tobias grabs my wrist and frowns, "you aren't getting out of this. I don't need to know what happened between you two last night. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Well," I raise a brow, "how much did he tell you?"

Tobias shrugs, "nothing really, just that he was kinda worried about you. Is there something else I should know?"

"Not really. I'm alright though, yesterday was not the best day for me is all." I offer my Abnegation smile, "just let me figure things out on my own. I promise I'll be safe."

Tobias smirks, "unfortunatley for you the smile doesn't work on me. You're not okay, I can see it. I still haven't figured out what Uriah has to do with it, but I want you know that you can always come to me."

I smile, "of course I know that...This is just something I need to do on my own. I'm going to stay up here a while, okay? I'll meet you for lunch later." He stares at me, I wrap my arms aorund him and smile up to his face. That seems to pacify him because he smiles back and ruffles my hair before heading to the door and disappearing from view. Once I hear the door clatter shut, I drop to the ground and press my back to the roof and blink my eyes.

The first time I really met Uriah, I was in Amity. Robert had just told me about why he left without so much as a goodbye, I had decided to walk off my anger. I tried to understand, but I couldn't figure why he wouldn't at least have told me he was leaving, at least given me a clue. I didn't see him standing there intitally, leaned against a tree eating an apple. As a matter of fact I stormed right past, Uriah ran up next to me and smiled. Tris had introduced me to him, and the moment I met those brown eyes I knew he was my savior. The one who told me where I could survive with my people. He didn't seem to notice me though, why would he? The alley was dark, that's what I told myself. Chalked up the disappointment when he looked at me like a new face to not being able to convey my thanks. I remember distinctly the first words he spoke to me since that night, "I think you and I will be great friends, Susan."

What was I thinking, saying what I did last night? It was stupid, I shoud have just walked away from him, forgotten the whole thing. Today is a new day and today things between us might be completely different than before. Or maybe they will remain the same. I don't know which is more disappointing. "Sunny?"

I clench my eyes shut, please go away. "Yeah?" I peek open an eye and see Uriah standing over me. If he talks to me I don't have the strength to keep my words restrained, today I don't care. If he questions me, everything is coming out. I'm too tired to try and form the right words anymore.

"Can we talk?" He chews at his lip nervously, "just a for a sec."

I shrug and sit on up on my elbows. "Why not." Uriah sits down beside me.

"Look, I came to say thank you for the night of the attack. If you hadn't helped me, I probably would have died trying to find my way to the Factionless..." He sighs, "you're not crazy, Sunny."

"I am," I chuckle sadly, "it doesn't seem like it now, but I am. I'm hearing voices in my head. Not to mention that everytime I blink I'm seeing Abnegation being gunned down. I wake up paralyzed from nightmares every night, I am a prisoner of my own mind. Every slammed door, every scream, every sob reminds me of what I saw. Sure, Tris and Tobias saw some of it too, but I saw it all. Men, women, children being gunned down in their own front yards. People begging for mercy, screams cut off with that horrid sound. And yet I wield the very same weapon, yet I live and love the very people who did it. And somehow being here with the Dauntless excites me, somehow I can't hate them, hate you for what happened. Instead, I get more obsorbed in their way of life, more drawn to it. I'm a moth drawn to a flame, a lost mad girl runing right into danger's arms. My mind is a forest, every turn there's a horrific memory, behind every tree a new monster to torment me. And somehow, I love it."

Uriah shakes his head, "it doesn't help being up on this roof, where...everything else happened."

"See?" I laugh, "you can't see them, can you?" I look down at my wrists and ankles, "I'm shackled here. I try to escape, but I'm always drawn up to this roof, chained here. You don't see the chains do you? That's because you're sane." I look at him with tears dripping. I didn't even notice I was crying until now, "I'm mad, Uriah. Don't you see it? I'm barely keeping up appearances, barely keeping my mind together. All the strings that kept me tethered to reality have been cut, its only a matter of time before I'm lost to my own world." I reach up to wipe my tears, but a hand stops my mine. Uriah wipes one of my tears and gets a sad smile on his lips. "Don't smile like that, it confuses me."

"You never answered my question, do you have feelings for me?"

"Not too sure," the idea of admitting whatever I feel for Uriah scares me. "Like I said I can't figure out which emotions go where with you. Besides I don't remember what love feels like. I sometimes have inklings of it, but its never enough to help me remember. I used to be normal, I swear."

Uriah nods, "I know. What were you like before?"

"Boring." I frown, "grey, plain, quiet, Abnegation...Not anyone you would notice, I'm sure we walked past each other in school dozens of times and you never once glanced in my direction. I don't like myself now, but I didn't like myself before either. I don't know how to be someone I can be proud of anymore. I finally got a second chance and I screwed it up. I tend to do that, mess things up. I got my parents killed," he stares at me. My lips tremble as the memories crash in my mind, "they were in hiding and I was heading for their house to see what was going on and someone had seen me. They pointed towards the side of the street I was on and my mother, she pulled me into the house and held me close. She told me she loved me, then they pounded on the door, my father he kissed my cheek and told me where to hide and which alleys to look for to stay hidden. Then they pushed me into the pantry and surrendered, I could barely see them, but my mother's eyes told me to go, to survive. If I had just let them catch me, they could have escaped. I've messed up a lot, I wasn't a good enough sister to make Robert stay, or at least tell me he was leaving. I wasn't a good enough, whatever I was to Caleb, to make him stay for me. Don't you see how stained my hands are, how impure I am?"

Uriah tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear and wipes one of my tears, "I just see a broken girl." He laughs a little, "maybe she is a little mad too."

The tips of my lips quirk up, "I think I really like you, but you don't have to feel the same way...I know that you and Marlene..." I watch his eyes get glassy, "I just want you to be happy, okay? Do that for me, and I will try to be more sane."

He shakes his head, "no, I want you to be the fractured, mad girl you are. I just need time, to figure out whatever this is."

"Yeah," I frown. "I figured you would say that. Like I said, you don't have to stay. You don't owe me anything. If anything, I owe you something for all those times you were there."

"I haven't really been as good of a friend-" Uriah stares at me as I roll my eyes. "what?"

I clench my fists, "you were there, Uriah. You were there when Robert told me why he left, you were there when I was being trained and couldn't make sense of this life, you were there when we got to Candor. You've woken me from nightmares, you've let me cry on your shoulder, you've been there. Everyone else tries, but you..." I shake my head, "you keep coming back. Why? Why do you keep coming back knowing that nothing with me is simple. I'm the opposite of simple, I'm...I'm-"

Uriah laughs under his breath, "you're confusing, intricate. You're a puzzle, and everytime I'm near you I find a new piece and I can never figure out where it goes. So you're right, you're not simple. But I wouldn't trade that for anything...I'm going to head down for breakfast, you coming?"

My stomach growls, but I'm in no mood to eat. My entire being is flooded with so many conflicting emotions I can't concieve eating at a time when so much needs to be sorted. "No, I have somethings I need to do before I eat." Uriah stares at me before nodding and heading to the door. He looks back and offers one last smile before disappearing from view. I curl up on the roof and close my eyes before falling to sleep.

(Line Break)

The entire lunch area is buzzing with noise, its so different from how it was before. I love it, everything about Dauntless is so opposite my world, I can do nothing but embrace it. Tobias waves me over and tosses his arm around my shoulder before digging into the three plates piled in front of him. "How was your day?" He barely keeps all his food in his mouth and I vaguely wonder how he won Tris' affections with those table manners.

"Alright." I sip from my bottle and stare at the ground, "do you think we will be able to go to Dauntless?"

Tobias' eyebrows knit together, "I'm not supposed to say. Its definitely a possibility though." He winks at me, giving me the answer I want. How will things be in Dauntless? Will I be different there, like was different in Abnegation and Amity? "There's just some unfinished business, Sunny. A few loose ends to tie up." He frowns a little before taking some food off my plate, "did you talk with Uriah?"

"Yeah, we resolved our...dispute." Tris slides in the seat across from me, "hey Tris."

"Sunny, it's nice to see you up and around." Her concerned gaze reminds me that she is also a few paces from my cot and can hear my strangled sobs at night. "look I have a job of sorts for you."

My ears perk up at that, "what is it?"

Tris stares at Tobias before facing me, "we have a small group heading to Dauntless to make sure that Jeanine and the traitor Dauntless have cleared out before we make our way there. An Abnegation needs to go with, its our only way to secure that the three of us remain in good standing with the Dauntless council."

"They don't want us coming?" I ask.

Tobias shakes his head and sets down hsi drink, "no, they want us to come. They just need to remind the rest of Dauntless that we are still useful here. I would go, but as the Abnegation representative here, I have to help the council take care of a few things before we go."

I nod, "and what about Tris?"

She frowns, "I can't either. While you are gone I am heading to the Factionless to let Evelyn know what's going on as well as alerting the other Abnegation in Amity. That leaves you. And quite frankly, I think its about time you got out of Candor. It's a low risk operation, we're almost positive that Dauntless is empty. The traitor Dauntless are based in Erudite right now, so this should be an easy job."

"Awesome, who is going with me?" I glance around at the sea of black surrounding me, hopefully it will be someone I know. One of the voices in my head suggests Uriah.

Tobias glances around and lowers his voice, "you, Will, Uriah, a girl named Molly, and Al. It's a small group, the five of you should be fine. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Of course, when do we go?" I push my plate away and adjust my clothes.

"You leave during the executions." Tobias' voice is grim, deeper than normal. I pause and stare at him, "its one of those loose ends that needs to be taken care of. Don't worry about it, we've got it sorted out. You just focus on taking care of this mission. Be safe, Uriah assured me that you have worked through your more 'reckless' tendencies. I can trust you, right?"

"Well," I offer an exaggerated eye roll, " I'm your only option."

I turn and walk away as I hear Tobias mutter, "yeah that's what scares me."


End file.
